[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. Sometimes with mean words. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like don't ask, don't tell!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]
In ‘studies that make my skin crawl’ news, researchers at the University of Pecs (please excuse me while I go find a school transfer form. Pecs, here I come!) in Hungary found that most people they studied wind up in long-term relationships with a partner who resembles their opposite sex parent. Basically, that means that most women end up married to a man who physically resembles their father, which is… ick. Just ick. The question is, do we think this is really accurate, or did something go horribly awry in this study?
On the one side, the people we grow up around naturally shape some of our ideas. I, for example, come from a family of big burly guys, so if you asked me “what does a guy look like” my baseline would be 6 feet tall, 200 pounds. Since our parents are with us since, well, birth, it’s natural that their influence would be stronger still. These people shape, not only our personalities and our ideas, but also our aesthetic preferences. Maybe it’s not that we go for someone who looks like our dad, but just that we’ve learned to see our fathers as handsome and by that virtue, men who look like dad are good-looking too.
On the other side though, I question whether that really defines who we end up with. Like I said, my baseline for a guy is reasonably specific, but not all of the guys I’ve dated actually fall into that range, and I certainly wouldn’t avoid dating guy for that reason. In fact, in my experience, women are much less likely to abide by a ‘type’ than guys are, so ultimately it seems really unlikely that we all happen to end up with guys who look like our dads.
There’s also something in there that’s maybe even more disturbing than the Freudian implications of this study, which is – it suggests that the person we end up with is largely predetermined by their looks. Because I needed a nice dose of ‘you’re biologically shallow’ for the day.
What do you think? Do you go for guys who remind you of dear old dad? Do you find that too creeptastic for words? Do you have a type? The future of our relationships hang in the balance – duke it out!