The Real 7 Reasons Your Roommates Hate You

October 11, 2010 3:00 pm     Posted in College, Reality  Colleen Leahey, Reporter g+ page


By Colleen Leahey, Reporter

The Huffington Post created this gem of a slideshow several days ago.  Liz O’Neill claims that the usual reasons your roommates loathe you (you’re a slob, a mooch, etc.) are veils for deeper, subtler issues. Actually, they hate you because you are prettier than them. And, you’re going to make more money than them in a few years!

As I read this, I felt like I was listening to a mother stroke her child’s ego. The different hate-causing categories of behavior Ms. O’Neill gives are bizarre. And, based on my own college experiences, totally ludicrous (I mean, seriously? My roommates don’t like me because I have a diary? Seriously?).

So, here are the REAL 7 reasons your college roommates hate you. And sorry – we’re not going to sugar-coat these bad boys.

1.     You’re a Bad Drunk

You’re as sweet as candy during the day. But, after a few shots, you’re slurring your words. You’re cursing like a sailor. You’re losing all functionality in your limbs. As your roommates carry you home, vomit decorating your Sevens, you tell them you hate them and they all suck. The next morning, you feel awful, but you can’t understand why everyone’s so mad because you remember nothing. Well, newsflash: Your roommates hate you because, actually, you’re the one that really sucks.

2.     You’re a Kleptomaniac

When you’re getting ready for work in the morning, hours before your roommates roll out of bed, you steal some Bumble and Bumble hair product from the medicine cabinet. Later that night, when you’re craving a late-night study snack, you grab a bag of your pretzels. Ick, they’re stale. So, you eat your roommate’s instead. When you realize you ate an obvious amount, you throw a few of the stale ones into your roommate’s bag of Snyder’s. You never borrow anything massive, but all the little things add up daily. And she notices.

3.     You Have a 3rd Roommate… Every Night

Visitors: You love them in the morning, and in the afternoon. You love them in the evening, and underneath the moon. Well, guess what? Your roommate doesn’t. She’s tired of getting sexiled the night before her Econ exam or looming research paper deadline. Learn to keep it in your pants or start dividing your time between your house and your special friend’s to ease the roommate tension.

4.     You’re Messy

Your hair is clogging the shower drain. You left your underwear and smelly workout clothes in the middle of the room. You snacked on some ice cream and frosting and left the dirty bowl and silverwear underneath the couch. You left your dirty pad on the bathroom floor. And now your roommate wants to go all Snooki WWE on you.

5.     You’re Always on the Phone

“OMG!! NO WAY…HE DID NOT!” you shout while your roommate tries to watch the episode of Glee she missed on her laptop. After you hang up, you hear a notification on your computer. Sammy wants to Skype! You click accept, and begin chatting away. We get it: staying in touch with home friends is important in college. However, be respectful of your roommate’s space. She doesn’t want to hear every little detail of Sammy’s life. Or the other 132 people you talk to weekly. Hold the phone (or video chat) until she’s out of the room.

6.     You Love the Snooze Button

Oh, you snoozed 7 times this morning? 3 hours before your roommate needed to be up for class? Yeah, I wonder why she’s pissed.

7.     You’re Passive Aggressive

When something is really bothering you (like the Klepto, Snooze-pressing, insanely sloppy roommate), you are cold. You monosyllabically answer their friendly questions. When they ask you what’s wrong, you say nothing. Welcome to the land of Passive Aggressivia. Population: You. If you want to stop disliking your roommate, you need to actually let them know they are doing something that’s bothering you instead of hoping they’ll get the message. Speak up and you’ll quickly be on the road to a better college-living life.

17 Comments on "The Real 7 Reasons Your Roommates Hate You"

  1. Brandon@StingyCampus says:
    Mon, 11th Oct 201012:02 pm 

    Ah, number 3 was the worst for me. My roommate always had a girl over, and I could never sleep.

  2. Emily says:
    Mon, 11th Oct 20101:06 pm 

    I lived with #6 my freshman year, explain to me why your alarm needs to start going off at 5:30am when you have class at 8? I also lived with #2, that resulted in a freak out involving milk and cheerios, I love living alone.

  3. kat says:
    Mon, 11th Oct 20106:17 pm 

    #7, holy crap. i live with one of those.

  4. Mel - Miami Universi says:
    Mon, 11th Oct 20107:15 pm 

    great list. this couldn't be more true!

  5. Jenna says:
    Mon, 11th Oct 20108:36 pm 

    Ewww to the pad on the floor, that's just unhygienic!

  6. Brianna says:
    Mon, 18th Oct 20108:38 am 

    I live with #5, only she talks to her boyfriend all the time. Like at 12:00 at night when I'm trying to sleep. Or for three straight hours. Or when I'm trying to study. Take it to the common room or STFU, thanks!

  7. Boo says:
    Mon, 18th Oct 20106:30 pm 

    i'm with #9. so far this year she's been pretty cold to me, and our room is kinda silent and awkward and i had (and still have) no idea why. then i accidentally said something to her that i really didn't mean, and apologized for it profusely, but now any times i try to be friendly she's just blahhh. all my "how was your day?" and "wanna grab lunch?" questions are answered with "good." and "not hungry." i know it was my fault that i don't think before i talk sometimes, but i wish she would let me make it up to her!

  8. Mags says:
    Thu, 21st Oct 20109:11 pm 

    I've lived with #5s twice. Once was my first semester as a sophomore – she was ALWAYS on the phone with her fiance, and it got to the point where I could feel my blood pressure shoot up every time I heard his ringtone. The second was my very last semester – she was always on the phone with her mother. I swear, she called her mother three times a day minimum. And she couldn't just say something like "Hey Mom," NOOOOOO, she had to talk baby talk – she called her mother Mommy. SERIOUSLY? WTF sort of college sophomore CALLS HER MOTHER MOMMY?!

    Between all my other roommates (a #7 my first semester, the first #5 was also a #4, one was a #4 so bad I moved mid-semester), once I got done with college, I swore I wouldn't get a roommate again unless I was married to him.

  9. Sarah says:
    Fri, 22nd Oct 20102:04 am 

    My housemates hate me because of #3, #5 and possibly #6…

    I hate them because of #2, #4 and #7. Although maybe they should hate me for #7 too now since I've posted this…lol!

  10. disgruntled says:
    Fri, 5th Nov 201012:34 pm 

    my roomates hate me for the talking on the phone really loud.

    i very much dislike them for the passive aggressive thing. (even after i specifically told them when we first moved in to TELL me if they have a problem with something)

  11. wangli123 says:
    Thu, 21st Jul 201111:48 pm 

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  12. craziness says:
    Sat, 14th Jan 20125:57 pm 

    #3.. she moved in her boyfriend without asking me and i heard them have sex about 3 times

  13. desireewoolf says:
    Sat, 10th Mar 20124:48 pm 

    My roommate hated me for being a bad drunk. I just told her that if she doesn’t like me when i’m drunk, to stop drinking with me… I hate her for all the rest, and also for not paying rent.

  14. Lindsay says:
    Wed, 31st Oct 20123:57 am 

    I’m pretty sure my roommates hate me for #6 and maybe #4, and maybe because I’m more attractive;)

    My roomates piss me the f*** off for #1, #7 and for being some of the most judgemental people I’ve ever met. Oh and for hooking up with a guy i dated the day after we cut it off. Right.

  15. someone says:
    Thu, 17th Jan 20134:29 pm 

    Nothing wrong with calling your mom mommy. It's her mom-let her call her whatever she wants.

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