When “Not Interested” Just Isn’t Enough…

October 14, 2010 Posted in Advice, Entertainment, HaHa, Relationships

Hablar con la mano, bro.

Have you ever been at the receiving end of some romantic advances you just weren’t that into? Did you try to throw out subtle clues that “short and middle-aged with two kids and alimony payments” wasn’t your type? Did this dude just not quite get it?

By Alex

Well, a new study has found that men deemed as having “aggressive” pickup tactics just don’t always receive the not-interested memo as quickly as their more in-tune counterparts. Fear not, gals, for I’m thinking you need to up the ante and throw out the most obvious “NO!” you can conjure.

Short of shouting in his face, here are a few tricks that shouldn’t fail you (and shouldn’t fail to give your onlooking friends a laugh).

Stop Him Mid-Sentence and Break Out the Faux Sign Language
Unless he volunteers with deaf children on the weekends, he’ll have no idea what’s going on and not want to find out. Think this is an incredibly insensitive and inappropriate move? Well think about how incredibly insensitive and inappropriate it’ll be when broseph decided to slip his hand down the back of your jeans. You’ll be glad you whipped out the big (finger) guns.

Refuse the Drink He Just Bought You
Sometimes you’ve got to play the bitch in order to escape. So you told him “No, thanks” when he offered to refresh your gin and tonic. But he ordered it anyway. Then you said “No, thanks” when he slid the new drink your way. But he still placed it in front of you. Don’t drink it and look in the opposite direction. 911 eye signals to your best buds should bring in the reinforcements, leaving you with a new circle to talk to.

Praise the Lord
You know how some people pray before eating? Well, grab his hands and insist you need to bless the alcohol you’re about to consume. If you really want to go for the gold, close your eyes and start speaking in tongues before dropping to the floor in a shaking fit. He’ll think he’s watching Sunday morning public television in Texas, and you’ll be relieved of his company faster than Jesus could cure a leper.

Out-Do Him
So he’s telling you how he’s 43 still living with his mother and dog, Mr. Waggles? Tell him that you recently contracted Herpes and are thinking of a sex change. Does he have a thing for NASCAR and those gross beer can helmets with the long straws? No habla Ingles.

Walk Away
When all else fails, simply walk away. Don’t worry about hurting his pride; there are at least six other girls at the bar who are just dying to try these moves out on him.

7549821 Comments2010-10-14+20%3A00%3A50Alex-+University+of+South+Carolina on "When “Not Interested” Just Isn’t Enough…"

cocktailsattiffanys says:
Thu, 14th Oct 201011:00 am

These are hilarious!! I can't wait to use them the next time I'm out and about.

-Gizzy

Kaylah says:
Thu, 14th Oct 201011:43 am

Half of these would not only make the creeper go away but also any other normal guys. Do you really want the rumor that you have herpes spread around? Guys talk too and the world is small.

Laura-Jane says:
Thu, 14th Oct 20101:04 pm

I once pretended I was from Finland, was married and spoke little english. :')

Ohhonestly says:
Thu, 14th Oct 20103:23 pm

Many bars have these guys called "bouncers", who, if you tell them the jerk won't leave you alone, will intervene for you.

Just saying…

AC says:
Fri, 15th Oct 20109:46 am

Can we get an article on how to turn down guys you share a class with, who approach you before/ during/ after class, who you have to see 3 times a week for the entire semester? Without hurting his feelings and making the rest of the semester awkward? I'm terrible with rejection.

mallory j says:
Sat, 16th Oct 20106:16 am

^^^^^^^^ what she said.

Sy says:
Sat, 16th Oct 201010:26 pm

I agree! what they both said ^^^^^^^

judy says:
Sun, 17th Oct 20107:19 pm

lol, it's not that difficult to turn a guy down, firmly but gently. "sorry, i have a boyfriend." or "aww, i'm really flattered but i'm involved with someone," etc. you don't need to be a jerk about it, tempting as it may be sometimes. if you come across someone especially persistent, just be equally as persistent in your polite rejection methods. it's absolutely possible to honest but nice while doing so.

of course, if the dude is being an asshole jerk, by all means bring out your inner bitch. sometimes it is necessary.

Lila says:
Tue, 26th Oct 20103:03 pm

I pretend to be a lesbian.

Grace says:
Wed, 10th Nov 20107:46 am

I usually first say I'm either a lesbian or have a boyfriend, or I'm just hanging with girlfriends tonight etc etc depending on the guy, and this works 95% of the time. But if he still doesn't get the message and is a very aggressive flirter (like, he's being waaay too touchy-feely/sexual/arrogant) I just straight out tell him I'm not interested and/or he doesn't stand a chance. Don't try and be gentle about it. As a male friend of mine once said, if he's being an overly aggressive arrogant arse then you have every right to be as well in rejecting his unwanted advances without worrying about being polite. So long as you can handle parting ways with him insulting you it never fails.

LA1988 says:
Sat, 13th Nov 20103:36 pm

LOL! DON't be afraid of some guy! if he's being overbearing, by all means, BE A BITCH! why do you think he's trying to refill that drink of yours? he's trying to get you drunk so you can have sex….always watch your drinks, as well. watch them being made, and watch them being handed to you. might sound paranoid, but trust me, you never know!

Dominique says:
Wed, 17th Nov 201012:58 pm

I used to have the same problem this semester, but luckily for me he was failing and dropped the course! If he doesn't respond to the "I have a bf/I'm a lesbian/I'm not into you like that" stuff, then just try and make sure you're always with at least one other person when it comes time to be around him. Most guys like that wouldn't want to deal with not just one, but a whole group of girls ready to box him if he doesn't step off! ^-^

nope says:
Mon, 6th Dec 20103:53 pm

I pretend I'm insane. These have worked best for me in the past:
I tell him I've been dead since 1972 and was re-animated for a government experiment,
Someone recently died and I can't get over it: It was my goldfish,
I act convinced that he was sent to spy on me because I am part of a mystic cult that has secret powers the government is after.
(The "I'm dead" one gets the funniest reactions!)

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