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The 8 Traits of a Great Wingwoman

In a college world where (shocker!) people drink and hook-up on a regular basis, it’s always a lovely gift in disguise to have a wingwoman by your side who supports you, sets you up for success, and is your personal cheerleader.

In high school, your wingwoman would accompany you to the bathroom during lunch, share the other half of cheesy bread with you, and wait by your locker when your boyfriend left early for the skate park.

In Hollywood, a wing woman is there to support her celebrity counterparts after a whirlwind of relationship blunders and public break ups.  (Look at Team Cox-Aniston for example.  I can see their wingwoman relationship sprouting from the rich dirt of Hollywood and making headlines already.  Thanks to the fresh divorce of Cox and Arquette. Friends fans rejoice!)

In college, your wingwoman plays a much more integral role. She’s an important element to your development as a young woman so you can get all of that partying and sexing out of your system.

Here’s how a perfect wingwoman is built in college world:

1. She will talk to ANYBODY.
This is essential. You want a woman who isn’t afraid to spark up a fun, outgoing conversation with any average Joe.  You don’t want a wet blanket who stands in the corner and bites her straws in half and pouts about how loud the music is. How are you supposed to get anywhere stirring the ice cubes in your drink and trying to cheer up a wah-wah friend?

2. She is so drunk and inappropriate you always look better.
When you have a wingwoman who pounds more rail drinks than you, you can always count on her to make you look more put together and in control to passersby. Especially when she starts screaming about how much she loves the new Pink song and grinding against the wall when it blares from the DJ’s perch.  You can just laugh lightly and wink at your boy toy, then hit up the dance floor and make him want it. He will be grateful he nabbed the “sober one.”

3. She knows when to walk away.
When you’re sweet talking your potential sweetheart, your wingwoman will know when to exit the scene and look for something else to sniff around.  Nothing will ruin a moment more than a wingwoman who will bust into your convo with slurred quotes from The Office and googly eyes.

4. She’s willing to take one for the team.
If it’s time for her to politely bow out of the evening at 2AM and take a taxi home to re-runs of Modern Family and burnt nachos, then so be it.  She should be ready and willing to end her night, even if yours is just beginning.

5. She hooks up with your hook up’s roommate…so you always stick together.
If the opportunity arises, your wingwoman should dabble in your future hook-up’s roommate. Therefore, you guys can save another taxi charge when you wake up in the morning to bail out of your situation together.  Nothing is better than fried eggs and coffee with your wingwoman while discussing how you guys were so attached at the hip it was almost kinky.

6. She makes sure you’re safe but doesn’t prevent you from getting yours.
A great wingwoman will always make sure you are making the right decision
.  And should a not-so-desirable situation arise (only after she knows you will regret it), she will invite you for your fourth meal at Taco Bell so you have an excuse not to go back Homely John’s dorm room.  With a fab wingwoman, you will never find yourself stuck in a sticky situation with someone you would have never wanted when you could see straight.

7. She grinds with you on the dance floor when you’re craving attention.
As superficial as it sounds, everybody enjoys a nice enough wingwoman to accompany your totally rad lawn mower dance move on the dance floor.  She will be by your side in an instant if you crave the eyes of the cutie by the bar, so you can pop, lock, and, drop it in unison. 

8. She will look hot, but not hotter than you.
What would a great wing woman be if everyone was looking at her cleavage instead of yours?

No one wants a Situation situation. What do you look for in a wingwoman?

    Comments

    Comments

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    4. Hannah says:

      Hey, you know what all the best things about having friends is? You get to use them so that you can look better in comparison! This is fantastic advice! Also, only party with people uglier than you, so that by comparison your tainted soul doesn't show so easily to a semi-normal dude. Study with people smarter than you so you can copy their answers, but really despite the fact that they may be wonderful people, you don't want to sit next to them in the lecture because they might steal your 'super smart' thunder so that you look bad in front of that cutie sitting next to you.

    5. Ieva says:

      This article tries to convince that a perfect friend is the one who is willing to make a complete fool of themselves in order for you to look nice. What a complete nonsense! This may be the roots of a successful company, but for the real thing you need something much more. Not a "She will look hot, but not hotter than you", but "She will help you to develop your hotness and you two are gonna be THE divas", if I can make myself clear like this. Didn't like the article.

    6. G/W says:

      Agreed. Sure, my "friend" seems like your perfect wingwoman but from what I hear of her so far, I don't like her very much. Hell, I don't even like myself if I'm making her hook up with my hook up's roommate and sending her home to watch TV.

      Lameness.

    7. Bruce says:

      I hope real women (any age) don't think like this. Poor souls if so….and I feel even more sorry for their "friends."

    8. Shannon says:

      I hope the writer of this article does not necessarily believe this herself, rather she is just saying that these would be desirable traits of "wing women" for most college girls, if she believes this nonsense she is just a self centered, vapid skank. If I had somebody expect this from me I would tell them about themselves (oh wait, that already happened). I don't concern myself with any girls who aren't REAL friends. Girls like that have control issues and just use you for their benefit. I am sorry but I have much more important things to do in my life than be somebody's "sidekick".

    9. TheWriter says:

      This is satire, right? Right?! Gah, my brain…

    10. To lame says:

      why does this remind me of the jersey shore show?

    11. exoticdoc2 says:

      So if all this is true, doesn't that then make you a TERRIBLE wingwoman yourself?

    12. MeMan says:

      Here's a better idea. Drink bleach or set yourself on fire. I would say the author of this article is as intelligent as baboon, but that disrespects baboons.

      1. that just made me laugh really hard.

    13. Wow, Brittany — I hope you get to experience having a real friend someday.

    14. Sloane says:

      Obviously the little girls who agree with all this crap are ugly inside and out. If you were beautiful you'd have all the confidence in the world and wouldn't need this constant reassurance. I'm so glad I'm not this pathetic and I'm so glad there's plenty more like me in the world. Because we're the women who look down on "your kind." We're the women who have the beauty inside and out and we're the women people flock to and steal your limelight because once they realize just how ugly you really are on the inside, it makes us even better. Thank you insecure little girls for being a REAL womans wingman!

    15. TERRIBLE! says:

      This is a terrible representation of the sterotypical co-ed…interested in little more than sex on demand and looking hot. What a messed-up view of life!

      Can we not, for a moment, actually pre-suppose that college-aged women have brains and actually USE THEM? Is there a way we can let women know that sleeping around with the roommate of their friend's late-night hookup IS NOT THE NORM?? Because, according to this article, it is! What in the world??

      This is little more than a failed attempt at comedy. Thumbs DOWN!

    16. James says:

      Great. A guide to "how to be a whore, how to spread disease, how to use people, and how to have the lowest morals possible." Please, please, take this down before someone DECENT reads it and thinks it's good advice. The next time you have the urge to write an article, go find the largest rock possible and slam your head into it. Then, slam it again. After the pain goes away, slam your head against the rock one final time, and then, consider writing your article.

    17. Shera says:

      "You've Come A Long Way, Baby". NOT! Is this what Equal Rights has given us? We are used by men, have their babies and have to fight them to help us support the child as he moves on to the next woman in line to be used, we work full time while we raise the child alone with little help from baby daddy, and when the child is 18 have the sole responsibility of paying for that child's needs until they are able to pay for their own. Remember, Baby Daddy is only responsible until baby's 18.

      Now we're encouraging women to use each other. I look at what we've settled for and how we try to put a coat of paint on it and call it "progress" and I'm sickened.

      Maybe this is written by the woman who just fake married the Girls Gone Wild guy. "Yes, he takes advantage of drunk young girls but he's really a good guy." And he's using the noble excuse of not getting married until gays can as a cover up for not wanting to be legally responsible for alimony when the inevitable happens. Ugh!

      Women, WISE UP!!! You are being used! You need to start expecting RESPECT from men and each other. Though, I doubt we know what that looks like anymore. Until then, Beam me up, Scotty!

    18. Shera says:

      Yuck. Your parents must be so proud.

    19. Diane says:

      You are one arrogant, selfish bi^ch! You are a user and don't deserve to have friends. I do my best to build my friends up, and in turn they build me up as well. Send my friend home alone to hook up with some a**hole I met at a club? Forget it! Those men are a dime a dozen and friends are damn hard to come by. You being a wh0re is somewhat forgivable. You treating people that way is inexcusable. I can't believe this trash is posted on this site.

    20. raychel says:

      WOW, the readers of this article are uptight. i thought it was hilarious and could identify with almost every one of those traits. you rock, don't ever change.

    21. Moravec says:

      Wow, where were all these skanky girls when I was in college?

      On another note: I'm pretty happy there are girls arguing with this article, so I know I can one day marry and not have to worry about her having an STD.

    22. kris says:

      hahah this is amazing and SO TRUE. thank you for adding excitement to my day filled of revising papers.

    23. Linda says:

      This is SUCH a crap article! It kind of seems like this article is trying to send the message that if you want to be a great wingwoman you need to have at no self respect at all! This might be a reflection of the author herself but I'm a teenager myself and I think this article is quite sad. Enough said.

    24. taylorfalls says:

      Obviously we want out enemy to be our wingman. I would never wish that on my friends!

    25. Alex says:

      wow i didnt realize that this article would get such awful reviews, I loved it! I thought it was hilarious and i know at times my friends and i have showed more than one of those traits, mostly by accident but its still funny. i sent this article to my BFF with a "hey remember that time when…" Keep up the hilarious lists, i love them!

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    41. Rachel says:

      This is both contradictory, offensive, and horrible for any so called friend to expect from her wingwoman. Wanting a friend to be a sloppy drunk and hook up with a guys roommate is a recipe for disaster… one that you, apparently, want her to be protecting you from (#6). Supporting a friend in the quest for fun is great, but getting trashed whilst looking good-but-not-too-hot-according-to-what-your-friend-deems-appropriate and hooking up with a guy simply because he's your friends "cuties'" roommate is waay over the line. Oh but wait, she could use your money on half the cab fare home!? thats totally different! Right.

    42. Emily says:

      The problem is, it's just not fair after a while. This is coming from a girl that now has only 1 out of 6 besties that is still single. So even if I am a good wingwoman, I still want to be the one that gets the guy for once! Where's my wingwoman?

    43. susan says:

      dumbest thing i've read in a long time.

    44. jennydevildoll says:

      So the ideal wingwoman is a person who only exists to make YOU look good and promote YOUR happiness, not her own? If this is seriously anyone's view of what friendship entails they probably shouldn't even be allowed to interact with the human race.

    45. kathy says:

      this is dumb

    46. trom says:

      I love how women are this stupid, makes it easier for jerks like me to hook up with them.

    47. MaryMac says:

      This article shouldn't exist. STUPID!

    48. jonny says:

      There's a new wing woman company in London. http://www.wingwomanlondon.co.uk not sure how good the wingwomen are though.

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