I was so excited for The Hangover 2 to come out next year. So excited. Like already have my tickets, waiting in line starting now excited. And then news broke that a certain celebrity was going to be making a cameo in the sequel, much like Mike Tyson did in the original. Except this celebrity isn’t a boxing legend with a drug problem. It’s a middle-aged white guy with rage issues. Mel Gibson.
Is it bad that since reading of this new addition to the cast, my interest in the movie has dropped about 200%? Mel makes my skin crawl. Seriously, I know the dude wants to push “restart” on his career, but I can think of a bajillion other celebrities who deserve a second (or third, or fourth) chance to change their image more than a wife-beating, anti-Semitic a-hole.
Not only is she legitimately super-talented, she writes songs with names like “F*ck Me Pumps.” Talk about someone who deserves a chance to further pursue her art! Those are bona-fide dance hits, without which our Thirsty Thursdays would be significantly duller. There are only so many times you can shake your butt to “Apple Bottom Jeans,” but Amy’s “Rehab” is forever.
When he’s not being gross, Mr. Kelly is actually pretty funny…whether he means to be or not. “Trapped in the Closet” was an epic musical adventure that had me biting my fingernails with anxiety. So maybe he touched minors inappropriately. Give him one of those hot pink molester license plates, keep him away from parks and schools, but let the guy act!
Once upon a time, she was a cute little redhead with a twin. Then God smote us all by revealing that that twin was merely cinematic trickery and that our favorite ginger had a cocaine problem and a crazy mother. Ugh, unfair! Hasn’t Linds has put in the time, people? I mean, seriously, she actually put in time. In jail. And rehab. Doesn’t she deserve a second chance to fill the hole she left in our Parent Trap-loving hearts?
Sure we love him since he started Good Fridays. A new free Kanye track every week is pretty effing spectacular. But his image still screams arrogant jerk, no? Stick him in The Hangover 2 as an abused member of the hotel staff, perhaps sent on a mission to track down Taylor Swift CDs for Zach Galifianakis, and I think hilarity just might ensue.
Robert Downey, Jr.
Okay, fine. So his drug problem is old news and his reputation has pretty much been restored. Iron Man 1 and 2, Sherlock Holmes, Tropic Thunder, Due Date…it’s clear he can land a blockbuster movie. But still, he’s hot. Like really, really hot. In that DILF kinda way. They could have just thrown him in The Hangover 2 for a scene with Bradley Cooper to make the hearts of girls everywhere sparkle more than Edward Cullen in the sun.