How To Be In A Relationship Without Losing Friends

Relationships are great, there’s always someone to give you attention, to go eat with, to be your date to parties, and so many more activities (wink wink, nudge nudge)! But somewhere along the relationship journey, it’s easy to forget that you have friends that can do (most of) the same things your significant other can. While you can’t share some sexy time with your BFF (well maybe you can and there’s nothing wrong with that), you can still spend time with your non-relationship friends.

By Caitlin Corsetti

And they want you to, I know it.

Being in a relationship is fun, but don’t lose sight of the other important things in your life – namely, your friends. They were there before the BF and, if you play your cards right, they’ll be there after.

Need some ideas for balancing all the important people in your life? Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.

1. Don’t become a “we”: It’s easy to get carried away, especially in that honeymoon phase when you and your bf have to be together all. the. time. Soon enough, you stop being two people and morph into a “we.” You eat together, you sleep together, you shower together, you do everything together. All that is fine and dandy, but becoming a “we” doesn’t always go over well with your friends. When your girls invite you over to watch Grey’s Anatomy, they want to spend time with you, not you and your boyfriend. And the same goes for nights out, Sunday brunches and many other occasions. Do your part and ask if the boyf is invited before you bring him along to mani/pedi day.

2. Spend time apart: The more time you spend with your sig o., the more you isolate yourself from your friends (not to mention, the more the little things get annoying). Look, it’s totally healthy (and often times necessary) to spend a little time away from each other. Girls need time with their friends, and guys need time with their bros. And none of that can happen if you and boyfriend are Siamese twins.

So what should you do?

3. Pick a day (or a few!): My boyfriend and I pick a few days out of the week that we don’t spend the night together and we hang out with our friends. It’s a good system because we agree on it so we know exactly what to expect. I love it because I get my Tuesdays and Thursdays to watch my chick shows with my girls, and he can go play Halo or whatever he does with his bros. It’s a great system where everyone – me, him and all of our friends – win.

4. Communicate: Talk to your friends! Text and call them, especially when you’ve got a free minute to hang out. Oftentimes, if you’ve been in a relationship for awhile, your friends are hesitant to ask you to hang out because of the many times they’ve been rejected with the “I can’t I’m with the bf” response. So reach out! And talk to the boyf as well – let him know that as much as you love spending time with him, you want to hang out with your girls.

5. Double Date: Most of my friends have boyfriends too so we go out on group dates, which is a good way for everyone to get to know each other. The bfs become friends, and you get to hang out with your ladies. Even if one of your single friends has a date, it’s a good opportunity to connect.

It’s really easy to get caught up with a relationship, but it’s just as easy to manage time between your BF and your BFFS. And I promise, you won’t miss out on anything if you aren’t with your significant other 24/7. You will, however, miss out on your friends when you’re with the boyfriend all the time.

So don’t let it happen. Learn the balance, make sure your friends know they’re still a priority and, contrary to what everyone says, you’ll be able to have your cake and eat it too.