Greek Speak: Frat Guys, An Insider’s Perspective
To say that frat guys don’t have the best reputation is like saying that that I only kinda like Diet Coke. From movies to TV shows to their very own indiscretions (like the most recent events at Yale), on a scale of douchebaggery, they fall somewhere between Spencer Pratt and Tiger Woods.
But is that a fair assessment or have we been judging these guys wrong all along? Could there be an unfair stigma against fraternity boys? It’s hard to tell when you’re looking in from the outside, so we thought we’d ask the people who know best: a group of sorority women.
Unlike most college students whose only interaction with frat stars is at a Pimps and Hos party, sorority women know these men on a deeper level. So what do they have to say about frat guys?
Colleen: Kappa Alpha Theta, University of Tulsa
While I certainly do not condone the sexist and ill-mannered behavior of the Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternity at Yale University, I must admit that I am not entirely shocked by the whole scenario. Unfortunately, we live in a society that tends to purport a stigma that encourages the drunk-toga-wearing-sex-obsessed college boy culture. Although there are smart, respectful and wholesome gentleman within each fraternity (I’ve been dating one for the past 3 years!), they are often overshadowed by an established negative reputation, thanks the actions of a couple (or, depending on the house, a lot) of immature d-bags.
Like any organization, fraternities can sometimes fall victim to group think. Conformity and the refusal to speak up about what is right or wrong in a situation not only allows for bad decisions to be acted upon, but also perpetuates truth in the stereotype.
Honestly, it’s not just frat guys who should fall into the “frat guy stereotype.” There are plenty of non-Greek guys who are just as douchey, they are just fortunate enough not to have a pre-conceived notion about them. Frat or no frat, there are jerks all over the place. In fact, some of the grossest and most sexist pigs I’ve met on campus aren’t Greek, they’re athletes.
Gabby: Phi Theta Chi, Winona State University
My boyfriend is Greek and he is a diamond in the rough, to be honest. The stereotype that says frat guys are looking for whatever girl they can talk into bed is true probably half of the time, speaking from 3 1/2 years experience. Obviously, this differs house to house. Some of them are all about drinking (I’m talking seven days a week) and some genuinely have their sh*t together. Most, if not all, frat guys I know are very fun to be around and are up for almost anything, but don’t be STUPID and get with him because he fed you a clever line and gave you a free Bud Light. Just like any other guy, you need to find out who he really is. Take them with a grain of salt… and don’t sleep on the couch with your legs open.
Kit: Alpha Chi Omega, Ohio State University
I’m personally not extremely close with many frat guys, but as a whole I have been around Greek men through the events and socials our chapter has participated in. I think there will always be cases where the stereotypes ring true, but non-Greek men can be just as guilty of these stereotypes. Of the men I have met in Greek life, I certainly can say there are good “frat guys” who get involved with service on campus and show a real sense of brotherhood.
Kellyn: University of Michigan
OK, it’s true. Sad as it is, some guys follow the stereotype of their frat. If a frat is known as being douche bags and meat heads, some typically are. The frat that is said to be lame and awkward, some always are. But, don’t let that discourage you from finding the exceptions. Most of my best guy friends are in frats. I love going to their houses because I know that they are always looking out for me. Some people think frat guys are all just trying to get into your pants, but all of my frat friends have at one time or another helped a friend of mine when she raged too hard. They come over to chill at Friday brunch or 3am toast. So, try them all out. There are always those few awesome exceptions.
Rachel: Chi Omega, Indiana University
I think that a lot of frat guys TRY to fit the stereotype, and that’s where they go wrong. I’ve met a lot of guys that at first seem really “fratty” and just want to get wasted all night long, but when I took the time to get to know them, they had hobbies and interests I never thought they would have. You just have to stick around long enough to see past there initial “look-at-me-I’m-so-fratty-and-cool”stage.
Ariana: Gamma Phi Beta, Penn State University
As a Senior, I’ve had the opportunity to interact with a large number of fraternity boys over the years. And unfortunately, I have to admit that oftentimes they do fall true to their stereotype. While fraternity boys make awesome friends and can always be counted on for a good time, they’re not always the ideal choice for relationships. I think it has more so to do with the culture of Greek Life rather than the actual fraternity boys themselves, but I know personally, I have never (by choice) dated a fraternity guy in college. However!! I would like to say that some of my dearest friends are boys in fraternities, and that a good amount of my sorority sisters have been in wonderful relationships with fraternity gentleman. So it’s not all of them–you just have to be the girl to find the good ones first.
Megan: Chi Omega, Purdue
I’ve met my fair share of frat guys in college, and just like guys who aren’t in a fraternity…It’s hit or miss! I’m honestly disgusted with some men that I’ve met and their assumed right to treat college women however they want…BUT the new BF is a frat guy and he’s perf!!
What do you think?
Get the DL on Greek Life from the women who are living it right here.