Tuffy Luv Ranks Schoolz

October 26, 2010 1:00 pm     Posted in Reality  Tuffy Luv g+ page

Question?! Answer!! (…Maybe.) TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com


By Tuffy Luv

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’m pretty sure you already answered a question like mine but I couldn’t find the answer, so here goes. I’m a high school senior applying to college and I’m having a bit of a problem with my safety school. It’s brilliant: great nightlife, safe area, amazing dorms and has a course that I love. One bad thing though: it’s my hometown. The dorms are down the road. The campus is a 10 minute drive from home. Not that I don’t love my hometown and my folks, but isn’t college my one chance to become independent and get a little space? When it comes down to it, I want to be able to stumble home drunk at 2 a.m and not have to worry about seeing people I know on every street corner.

Would staying in town for college be a waste of an experience? [Ed. Note: No! Just ask our commuter student!]

Should I apply to a worse school just because I don’t want to stay in my town? I mean, my folks think I should stay in dorms (and I will) but still. Any advice would be lovely :)

- Confused about College

Dear Confused about College,

Well, I’m more of a relationship columnist, but…well, I really like your question. So, okay, I’ll come at this from the angle of forming new (and dealing with old) relationships via college, yes?

Yes, a major function of college is to have new experiences. You may indeed feel the need to “stumble home drunk at 2am” (although, if you do, and this goes for ALL OF YOU, please NEVER NEVER do it alone!!! Stumbling in any condition at 2am anywhere is not safe enough to go it alone!!!), and certainly that is harder if you’re worried about running into people.

But, look, you’re certainly not gonna bump into your parents on campus. So that’s a plus. And I think it’s really great and supportive of them that they want you to live in a dorm even though the school’s so nearby. It’s cool that they want you to have new experiences without them.

This leads me to believe they’ll probably kinda leave you alone. So you can check that off your list of worries.

As for running into people you know from, say, high school–well, they’ll all be busy having their own new experiences. I doubt they’re gonna care what you’re doing, just as you probably could give a shoop about what they’re doing out at 2am.

Who knows? You might even find that, outside the context of high school, someone you’ve known for years and never connected with could be really cool. Old associates often become new friends.

And, honey–if it’s a good school, that, honestly, is more important. Don’t go to a worse school just to avoid old neighbors! Seriously, girl. You got a good head on your shoulders. Go to a good school and use it!!! Besides, it’s your safety school, yes? You may not even end up there.

Here’s to hoping you get into your first choice and have all the exciting, brand-new, branching-out experiences you crave and deserve! (WHILE, of course, maintaining your GPA!!!!!!!!)

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

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4 Comments on "Tuffy Luv Ranks Schoolz"

  1. Confused about Colle says:
    Tue, 26th Oct 20108:31 am 

    Thanks for the help Tuffy,I hope I get into my first choice too!

    Much love.

  2. Anna says:
    Tue, 26th Oct 201011:18 am 

    I disagree with this completely! I grew up actually ON the University of Delaware campus, which is a great school in a lot of areas. Unfortunately, nearly 50 percent of my high school went there. Lots of them got great scholarships because their parents are somehow connected with the school, or because they could live at home, or because they had already been taking classes there. Either way, a HUGE portion of my friend group went to UD, and… stayed in that friend group. Which can be great, you know, built in friends!

    Except that every time I go back to visit, it's like they're all still in high school. Every stupid petty fight and bit of gossip from their whole high school life still matters, and they've all dated each other and it's just weird and incestuous.

    I say, if you can find a school as good even just half an hour away, GO THERE. Cut some apron strings and give yourself the chance to grow and find out who you are WITHOUT your crowd of high school friends around you.

  3. Bailey says:
    Tue, 26th Oct 20104:26 pm 

    I went to school in my hometown, and it's actually been great. There are two Big XII schools about 30 minutes from here north/south, and the vast majority of my HS class goes there, but I felt like going here would be best for me. I haven't lived at home, I'm not dependent on my parents, and most of my friends are from out of state. The people I went to HS with who go to my school are mostly people I wasn't too close with in HS, so we've become better friends.

    I've been as close to my family as I wanted to be – my first semester, I barely went home at all. That's become more frequent as I've gotten older, but it is nice to be able to go home if I want to. My mom's usually thrilled to have me stay the night, do my laundry, cook me breakfast, spend some time chatting – plus it's usually easier to get homework done at home. Also, when errbody comes home for break, it's much easier to pick and choose who you want to hang out with – plus, you know the new places to go out and what's actually good, as compared to what was cool in HS.

    There are definitely ups and downs to going to school in your hometown, but there are ups and downs to going to school anywhere. Some things are great, some things aren't, but it's been a pretty good experience for me.

  4. Guy says:
    Tue, 26th Oct 20108:13 pm 

    Don't pass up superior academic quality and reputation to avoid being close to home. While I agree you want to enjoy yourself as much as possible ultimately where you go to school will affect your long term career aspirations. Better schools typically open more doors.

    You can still have a typical college experience even if it's in your home town. It is all about you creating and following your own expectations. If you want to branch out and make new friends do it. If you don't want to go home often don't. Treat your experience as if you were far away.

    You will just need to set boundaries with your parents and friends before matriculating. They will be understanding.

    I went to college only 30 minutes away from home but told my parents just because I was close don't think of it in that regard, but rather to think of it as though I'm away at college, albeit one that happens to be fairly close to the house. Plus, it is really nice just knowing that you have the luxury of going home for food, laundry, downtime, etc, whether you do so or not.

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