Since last week’s letdown of an episode, it’s time to come to terms with the fact that Jersey Shore is no more. At least until January. You might be asking yourself, “But, but, but how am I ever going to get my Jersey fix without my eight seven lovable guidos/guidettes entertaining me on Thursday nights?”
I know. It won’t be easy getting through the cold months of November and December sans “OHHH YEAH” and “Tee-shirt tiiiiiiiiiiime!”
But have no fear, devoted J.Shore lovers. Luckily, the cast and the Jersey Phenomenon isn’t slowing down anytime soon, despite what last week’s South Park might indicate.
The Reunion Special Oh snap, Jersey Shore IS on tonight. In reunion form. If it gets anything remotely close to how those Real Housewives reunions go down, it should be a good time.
J.Shore-ween In addition to these store-bought costumes you can get at your local Halloween pop-up shop, anyone with an Ed Hardy shirt, bronzer and a banana clip can be a Jersey Shore kid this Halloween. The costumes are cheap and easy, just like Angelina!
The Situation Wrote a Book! And it’s coming out next Tuesday! How can you not be excited with a title like. “Here’s the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL“? Sitch dispenses nuggets of wisdom like:
“Chicks do dig guys with shaved legs . . . maybe they’re into the Michael Phelps look.”
“If you’re red, you’ve tanned too much. If you’re white, you haven’t tanned enough. And if you’re green, then you drank too many Jägerbombs the night before.”
How exciting! I can’t wait to snatch up my 150-page copy (hopefully complete with extra pictures)!
Angelina’s Got a Song Can you guess the title? No, it’s not “Dirty Little Hamster” and no, not “My 15 Minutes are Far Past Over” it’s… “I’m Hot”! Obviously! Says Angelina, “Because, you know, in the first season, I’m walking around the house, yelling at Mike, he’s always trying to abuse my weight, the way I look, whatever, and I’m like ‘Shuddup, Mike. I’m hot. I’m all natural, I’m not fake like all these girls you like. I’m hot, I’m hot, I’m hot.’ That’s my thing. I’m hot.”
The most important thing is that you think so, honey. All about inner-beauty here.
Devotion Vodka Mike “The Situation” is at it again. He’s just launched his new protein-infused vodka. Protein infused vodka? Gross. Keep it out of my Ron-Ron Juice, Mikey.