An Ode To Halloween
There are few things I love in life more than holidays. Perhaps that is unhealthy, but I do not care. And, amid the holidays that I passionately adore, there are some that rank higher than others. Halloween is one of my favorites. I love the autumnal weather, the unnecessary amounts of chocolate, and having one day to claim “my life is a masquerade” and not be greeted with WTF looks.
I love it so much, in fact, that I have decided to write a poem. Perhaps a sonnet would have been more appropriate, considering the extent of my obsession with Halloween, but an ode was what I came up with. So, read with care and enjoy.
An Ode To Halloween
‘Twas the night before Halloween and all through my house
Not a creature was stirring, except for our mouse.
The candy was placed on our porch with care
Awaiting the children that soon would be there.
My roommates were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of jagerbombs danced in their heads.
With my costume unfinished and I in my (thinking) cap,
I just couldn’t settle my brains for a nighttime nap.
When out on the porch there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
Away to my door I flew like a flash,
Grabbed the doorknob and threw open the hatch.
The crisp autumn air grabbed at my lungs,
And revived a spirit that made me feel young.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But eight drunken boys, dressed as Santa’s reindeer.
When they spotted me, so lively and quick,
They scurried away, like a bunch of chicks.
More rapid than eagles, the boys, they all ran.
Irritated, I thought, “Must be freshmen.”
I went back to my room, candy bowl in hand,
And snacked while I prayed I would never look like them.
Their costumes sucked, I hoped that mine
Would never be so grossly benign.
Suddenly an idea sprang in my head.
I ran to my desk and worked with some thread.
Feverishly I sewed, all through the night
Until my masterpiece was perfectly right.
As we got ready for the party, eyelashes in place
My roommates and I looked totally replaced
By wig-wearing characters with high, high shoes
With our costumes, there was no way to lose.
We arrived at the party and suddenly I saw
The most handsome Ewok, he had no flaws.
His hair was styled in just the right way
And looked at me like his sight was X-ray.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with vodka and ash soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And I fell in love when he opened his Northface backpack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His bag was stocked with 4 Lokos and Beer,
Not to mention bags of Candy… Halloween Cheer!
The stump of a cig he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a devilish face and a far from round belly,
That was so atypical of college boys—who usually packed jelly.
His smoking bothered me, but he was a cute nonetheless
And I laughed as we flirted, keeping me from becoming a drunken mess.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Pouring and mixing for all with a smirk.
The music was loud, the spirit was right.
College Halloween was an awesome sight.
But my Ewok got too drunk, so I gave my team a whistle,
And away we all flew like the down of a thistle.
Instead of ordering Domino’s for a late snack,
We munched on candy from my Ewok’s back.
As we sat on our porch, laughing about the bash
We listened, on our iPod player, to Monster Mash.
We eventually went inside, but shouted before out of sight
“Happy Halloween to all, and to all a good-night!”