Taylor Swift’s new CD, Speak Now, has been pre-released to critics for review and the feedback isn’t quite what you’d expect. Or maybe it is. If you have been waiting for naysayers to smash the album as another carbon copy of her previous hits- full of kissing in the rain, rides in trucks, fairytale endings, and high school drama- then you’ll be disappointed.
Surprisingly, high-level music critics are just like us: they love a little gossip. So when T.Swift released a collection of new material that smashes a whole new group of men, they tried to piece together the deadbeat target of each pop-y tune. And the results, once again, are a bit unexpected.
Remember when reputable media outlets like CNN Perez Hilton and The New York Times US Weekly reported that Swift might have been romantically tied to John Mayer? And how our eyes widened in shock? But then their duet “Half of my Heart” was released and we wrote their dinner dates off as work meetings? Looks like we may have been duped.
As is quite apparent in Taylor’s new song, “Dear John,” the two did in fact have a…(wait while I gag)…relationship. Need proof? Read the transparent lyrics here. Now that Tay has told all, do you think John will restart his Twitter account for a he-said/she-said account of the tune? Or maybe he’ll just call up his friends at Playboy or Rolling Stone and give another salacious, tell-all interview. We know he’s good for some heart-to-heart time with reporters.
Speaking of those infamous interviews, didn’t Swizzle Sticks (yeah, I’m coining new names) know of Mayer’s crazy dating past? When it comes to a guy who’s got a reputation for being an arrogant, contradictory, self-involved man whore, I don’t understand why any woman would want to get involved. And it’s not like he kept any of his private affairs…private. There’s no such thing as quietly failing in a relationship with John Mayer.
Swizz, girlfriend, for someone who doesn’t want guys to do bad things to you, you sure did mess with quite the Hollywood bad boy. Can’t say Jen, Jessica, and even John’s own candidness didn’t warn you.
Here I present to you the top reasons why Taylor just should’ve said no and avoided those teardrops on her guitar. Again.
And now, the prosecution would like to bring to the stand Mr. John Mayer.
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