In honor of the new season of Gossip Girl, our friends at PopEater are asking you to share your tales of real-life Gossip Girl run-ins. The stories range from the scintillating and shocking to the hysterical and bizarre. Should you be racking your brain to submit a story of your own, I present you with the ultimate cheat sheet.
Ladies, you probably know a Gossip Girl if…
She’s given a monthly allowance in the four-digit range…just for “fun” purchases.
The sales girls at Louis Vuitton know her by name. She didn’t have to wait for her Hermes Birkin bag. Chanel makes sure she’s always invited to the in-store preview events. Basically, the girl’s got the connection on all the latest and greatest when it comes to fashion. She wants it all, and she gets it (ahead of everyone else, of course).
Things don’t stay secret for long, especially when her cell phone’s nearby.
Is she inviting you to spill your heart out? Looking at you with “it’s okay, you can tell me anything” eyes? Patting the seat next to her while holding out her arms in a faux-hug? If so, then run. It’s no surprise to say Gossip Girls love gossip, and their fingers can text at lightening speeds even when the phone’s under the table or hidden in a purse. Duct tape that mouth, young lady, or your break-up will be the hottest news on campus in fifteen minutes.
She takes mysterious trips at a moment’s notice.
Long weekend in Bermuda= visiting her estranged father who is running away from American authorities in Belgium. Last-minute acceptance to a prestigious summer program at Oxford= her mother’s forcing her into rehab for that pesky case of Bulimia. Skipped out on a year of school for no reason= girl was totally suicidal after she tripped down the runway at Fashion Week. The affairs of Gossip Girls are shrouded in mystery, so always be suspect of her excuses.
Minions abound!
Like the seven dwarfs…except taller, thinner, and wearing Prada. Gossip Girls require a staff of help in their homes and a committee of mini-me’s in their schools. Minions often wear similar styles and speak with the same lingo as their leader, but don’t be confused. These girls know exactly to whom they answer.
Men just can’t seem to help themselves.
Could be the killer body, the form-fitting dress, or the four-inch Louboutins, but whatever the reason- she makes sexy look effortless and Heidi Klum look like a dumpy housewife. Guys can’t seem to say no to a Gossip Girl for (ahem, two) reasons that are pretty plain to see. And they’re only the best- future investment bankers, lawyers, heirs to oil fortunes… That scrawny English major knows he doesn’t stand a chance with a Blair Waldorf wanna-be.
Do you know a real-life Gossip Girl? Been the victim of her vicious mouth? (Yeah, it’s cute on TV, but not so much in the real world with real consequences… like your parents finding out your dirty secrets via Facebook updates….) Share your story below.