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Friday Faves: Telltale Signs of a Douchebag

Despite what She’s All That claimed during our formative middle-school years, no amount of makeup-free-artistic lonely girl can transform a douchebag into a gentleman. However we all like to believe that we are Belle and if we just love them enough (and listen to the talking cupboard) we can turn every beast into a prince. But at the end of the night (week, month, serious relationship) we’re still left with the same douchebag.

So, in order to stop just one girl from going home with that guy, I’ve compiled a list of three telltale signs that he should be avoided.

1. Blazer and a t-shirt

I have yet to figure out why guys think this outfit is anywhere near attractive. While I guess there is some advantage of knowing that they can go straight to the gym and/or a job interview with just a quick change, there’s something unsettling about the two looks meshing. If they can’t be bothered to decide between the business-casual look and the casual-casual look, chances are they won’t be bothered with remembering your name and number post hook-up. So unless you find yourself wearing a dress and sneakers out to the bars, I would recommend steering clear of this.

2. Cheek Kiss

When I first started receiving the cheek kiss at college I marveled at the adultness of it all. It was up there on my maturity scale with dinner parties and lipstick. However I soon learned that the boys who lean in to give the obligatory cheek kiss are the same boys who will elbow you in the stomach to get to the bar. They’re already climbing the social ladder and each time I put out my cheek to receive the kiss, they’re already eyeing the next girl behind me. As they say, nighttime cheek kiss, morning time big diss. (OK, no one has ever actually said that.)

3. Backwards Hat

Nothing says ‘I’m very mistaken about how cool I think I am’ than a backwards hat in any kind of social setting. It constantly amazes me how many people still find it socially acceptable to not only put on a hat to go out, but to put it on backwards. If backwards hats were “in” during the ’90s, then it’s still going to be another ten years before it’s ironic to wear it like that again. Any guy that finds it trendy/funny to wear their hat backwards will also think its trendy/funny to do something wacky, like hitting on one girl all night and then going home with her friend. Their brains work differently.

There are obviously many more signs of a douchebag, but these are the three that came to me after spending 30 seconds of first-hand research in a bar. And while I can list signs all day, it would start to get a little too personal to my friends when they start noticing their own one-night-stands and exes listed.

You got any tips for avoiding the d-bags? List ’em below. We ladies gotta help eachother out!

[This story was originally posted by Jenni – Syracuse]

Likey? Don’t worry, there are plenty more faves where this came from.

    Comments

    Comments

    1. ness says:

      hilarious!

    2. Jordan says:

      Really? On my campus, backward hats have a WHOLE different meaning.

      Backward hat = pot smoker, forward hat = beer drinker.

      1. Tbenz says:

        Where I'm from it's flat bill hat (in any position)=douche, backwards hat=jock or moron

    3. criolle johnny says:

      4. The air head hot chick on his arm.

      http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/

    4. Cassandra says:

      the blazer and t-shirt comes from fashion magazines for the last two or three decades – where women tell men how to dress to please women

    5. catieh42 says:

      Popped collars. Whose IDEA was that?!

    6. […] • Telltale signs of a douchebag […]

    7. […] faves – posts that have made us think, posts that have made us aware and posts that have made us LOL/ROTFL/snort. So kick off your pants, kick up your feet and […]

    8. Alejandro says:

      i gotta disagree on the cheek kiss. You should become more worldly, Im a hispanic from Colombia and it is not only customary but respectful to give a cheek kiss, hell spaniards do 2 kisses one per cheek!

      1. ainsley says:

        Though I absolutely agree with you that the cheek kiss is accepted and expected in a lot of places, understand that she is writing this article about American culture.

        I went to Greece with my boyfriend to meet his Greek family, and I got cheek kisses from his aunts, uncles, cousins, friends. I loved it. I loved that it meant that I was being welcomed an accepted into their culture, however temporarily. But I would say that any guy born and raised in the States who does the cheek-kiss is just trying to prove something.

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    10. […] faves – posts that have made us think, posts that have made us aware and posts that have made us LOL/ROTFL/snort. So kick off your pants, kick up your feet and […]

    11. […] faves – posts that have made us think, posts that have made us aware and posts that have made us LOL/ROTFL/snort. So kick off your pants, kick up your feet and […]

    12. […] faves – posts that have made us think, posts that have made us aware and posts that have made us LOL/ROTFL/snort. So kick off your pants, kick up your feet and […]

    13. […] stand a chance but won’t leave you alone. You know, the ones that are too drunk, too gross (probably wearing oversized t-shirts), and grinding on you like you’re a stripper pole. But you don’t let that stop you. […]

    14. WBB says:

      I disagree. Blazer + T-shirt is fashionable nowadays and I actually like it. Then again, that may be a cultural difference (I study in Amsterdam)
      And the kiss on the cheek is customary here. I'm in a mixed fraternity/sorority, and we all greet eachother with a kiss on the cheek. Except guys greeting guys of course, they shake hands. The guys I hang out with are certainly not douchebags. Well, not the douchebags you are talking about at least😉

      And yes, I know that this is an old article.

    15. Confused 'Male' says:

      When did a cute kiss on the cheek turn into a sign of being a douchebag? How does a hat that maybe he wants to hide a bad haircut turn into being a douchebag? Maybe they're wearing the hat to show off that their favorite sports team is so-so. In my opinion it all has to do with personality and not.. fashion. Though the sleeveless t-shirts are a sign, but a blazer and T-shirt? Next you'll say holding the door for someone is a sign of being a douchebag.

    16. like it matters says:

      Shallow, really shallow…would rather have a date with a porno mag and a jug of hand lotion than jump through your hoops.

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