Do I Have a Sex Addiction?

I like sex.

Okay, I love sex. I prefer to have it multiple times a day. And maybe I enjoy blowjobs more than the average girl (giving 6 a day on a weekend is normal, right?). I’ve had sex in some pretty ridiculous places. Roofs. Cars. Stairwells. I think dressing up and dirty talk are super fun and healthy activities. I kind of get mad if I don’t get it every night. And when I masturbate I can’t stop at just one orgasm (and, trust me, can go upwards of twenty). I unabashedly love porn. I have vibrators and I’m not afraid to use them. The only claim to sexual “shame” I’ve got is that I’ve never had an orgasm from penetration only – but I guess that’s a common thing.

But does that mean I have an addiction?

I don’t, won’t and never have had multiple partners at once. I’m able to get my work done without being distracted by sex. Of course there are times when I allow myself to wander onto porn when I should be studying, but I would never, ever do that at my job or skip important obligations to do so. I am not hooking up with random guys or guys that I’m not fully committed to. I’m not having dangerous, violent, unsafe or illegal sex. I just really, really, really REALLY like it.

But how much is too much?

I’ve always been very sexually charged in relationships (and again, very safe and exclusive) and even more so on my own. I can still remember my first orgasm like it was yesterday and how I repeated that feeling over and over every day when I was “showering” from age twelve on. I think it got even crazier with my first serious boyfriend in college. I’d had boyfriends but never got intimate with them and then I started mixing alcohol with romance. Once I was able to lubricate (ha ha?) my mind, I started to experiment more. And more. And finally, once I was 100% confident with myself in the bedroom, got even more experimental sans booze. I became uninhibited and wanted to try new things all the time. And my guy at the time was totally comfortable with it, to the point that it made our necessary break-up almost impossible, majorly due to the fantastic sex.

Now, I’ve moved onto a different (again, serious, exclusive) relationship…. with a man who is totally shocked by my behavior in bed. Like, to the point where he’s brought up addiction more than once.

To say it terrified me is akin to saying I sorta like gettin’ it on.  Read: major understatement.
It made me question my sexual side, my desires, my fantasies.

Am I addicted or just super overly sexual?
Is there a difference?

With all these celebs checking into sex rehab and even Doctor Drew creating a show to cure it, it has me wondering and even a little scared if I really do have an addiction. It must be bad if a rehab exists for it, right? And I’m sure I’ve got the symptoms, like when my boyfriend doesn’t want to sleep with me after an exhausting, grueling day and I get mad. Not just irritated, full-blown silent-treatment, crazy girl angry.

The media (and Tiger Woods) tells us that guys are the sex-obsessed ones. Am I an exception to the rule? Am I a “slut” because I indulge in self-pleasure and sexual intimacy with men I’m in love with? Should I change who I am or is there even a problem?

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  1. A.C says:

    I feel like I could have written this (right down the the shower part, I remember those days)). It's not an addiction (although, sometimes I get worried about how angry I get when I don't get it too) we just really really like sex, and there's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't make you a slut, you're being safe and responsible and are in relationships with these people, and you shouldn't change who you are just because not everyone is like you. If it's not standing in the way of your obligations or relationships then it's not a problem. Just enjoy your sexuality, worry and guilt free (although, the anger thing maybe is unwarranted)

    1. A.C says:

      Whoa! since when did CC start censoring words?! Especially words that are in the article itself. Not cool CC!

    2. that was my fault. i didn't want there to be any negative slander from random visitors :P you can say slut now.

  2. Flor says:

    um, power to you. you seem to be aware of your own boundaries and responsible. have fun girl

  3. Ness - Sheridan says:

    Nah, you've just got a high sex drive. Embrace it!

    Dr. Drew always had the best definition for addiction I've heard — "using in spite of consequences". If you're not causing damage or letting your sexual exploits affect other areas of your life negatively, I think you're in the clear.

    Awesome article, Anon!

  4. Jessica says:

    The only problem I see – getting mad when your significant other is not in the mood. If there were an article about a guy acting the same way towards his girlfriend, everyone would be quick to say that was a ridiculous expectation on his part. No one should ever face negative consequences for not feeling like gettin' busy..

  5. Tes says:

    I'm glad I'm not the only one. My libido is so ridiculously high.

  6. shari says:

    you basically read my mind with this post!

  7. […] • Does this woman have a sex addiction? She says no, we say… um, maybe. (CollegeCandy) […]

  8. Dirk Diggler says:

    She thinks just like a dude… that or she has a penis.

    1. J.Mac says:

      Or perhaps she's thinking like a confident, self-assured woman who knows what she wants. This is just the sort of anti-feminist sentiment that keeps women from reaching their sexual potential. Now, perhaps it is you who is thinking with your… Catch my drift?

  9. Black Iris says:

    I think it's hard to say if you're addicted without knowing more about you. Getting mad at your boyfriend when he doesn't want to have sex sounds bad, especially if you're having it a good amount already. Jerking off when you should be studying is not as bad as losing a job over it, but studying is your job, so the question there is how are your grades and can you stop?

    I don't think having sex with multiple partners would make you a sex addict. It's more about your attitude. Are you enjoying the sex? Is it a compulsion with you or are you emotionally engaged with your partner? Why give six blow jobs? Isn't that more about proving you can do it than actual pleasure for you? (If you know how to come from that, you'll win some kind of award.)

    Is there any reason in your past to think you might have an addiction? Were you ever abused or raped? How old were you the first time you had sex and how old was your partner?

  10. Paulina says:

    Get it girl!

  11. […] Do I Have a Sex Addiction? – [College Candy] […]

  12. […] •…which in turn leads to regular girls questioning whether or not they have an “addiction.” (CollegeCandy […]

  13. Manlymanman(haha) says:

    If you can't go without, and suffer from withdrawal when you don't get it (like, i don't know, getting angry?)
    then yea. thats an addiction.
    and this counts for anything, as you can get addicted to anything.

    having said that, as long as it doesn't disrupt daily life, you can function normally within society, and it doesn't bother you…. who gives? have fun.
    and trust me, there's plenty of guy's looking for girls just like you.

  14. anonymous says:

    i'm 20 and i never masturbated until i was 19; i guess i can't really relate……

  15. J.Mac says:

    Don't let your boyfriend make you ashamed of your sex drive. I've been in the same boat many a time and it can really destroy relationships. The two of you need to sit down and reach a sexual compromise that doesn't involve slinging around loaded words like "addiction". That said, he likely feels just as alienated for not having as strong of an urge as his female counterpart. My former lovers have expressed feelings of inadequacy because what sex we did have did not appear to satiate me. Maybe the two of you can find an non-sexual activity to share to help you unwind and cope with stress. Good luck, and don't be afraid to masturbate (heck, invite him to watch. ;))

  16. Rach says:

    This sounds almost exactly like me! Maybe I am addicted too!?

  17. anonymous says:

    I am a sex fan myself and not afraid to say so… I am a lot older than you, but have always been this way. I don't think a healthy sexual appetite is an addict. I only feel that the problem is that sexual girls seem to have a hard time ( maybe a pun) finding a guy who will keep up – at least that is my experience. Most of my gf's feel the same way…An addict is one who is unable to balance their life and the "substance" takes over. It doesn't sound like that is the problem. Maybe it is just the fact that you haven't found your match.. I did, but he left me unfortunately.. Good luck to you.

  18. pinktrickle says:

    As a female, I have the sex drive of most men, and often that scares of guys who "claim" to be sex addicts, when really they can't handle a sexually agressive female.

  19. Mika S. Mage says:

    Sex is natural, but too much of anything is bad for you, even natural things (masturbation is in the same boat here…). That being said, it doesn't matter if you are a guy or a girl, you should do what you want with who you want as long as you personally feel it is right and ok to your own sensibilities, without fear of judgment from anyone else. As long as you practice safe sex (condoms!!!), I wouldn't worry about a thing.

  20. mulmaram says:

    I think you have addiction. You must practise to engage your mind in some other things according to your tastes. The rule of addiction is this: Whether it is ruling you or are you ruling it.

  21. LND says:

    I think the run of thumb with any addiction is 'is the behavior interfering in your daily life'. Like are you saying 'no' to going out and doing things to have sex? If so then it's probably an addiction and i would look into either trying to not have sex so much or to look into ways of lowering your libido. because i would assume a lot of sex addicts have very high libidos that drive them to have sex so lowering it would lower the desire for sex.

  22. LoveOneAnother says:

    Count me as an Addict, LOL! OK, if there is one thing in this Universe that we can be sure of, it is that We We've got the Keys to use Our Bodies. You are clearly Very Conscious of Safety, so i am here to write, as sure as We need to Eat, Sleep… the Grand Architect provided us with the ability to be Frisky as We can Safely be : ) Total Rooster, here, Doll… sounds like You are, too! However, He may have another Whole Kink that He might be Afraid to Share, yet? i am a Child of Venus so being Loving and Caressing all over is my Junk, Oils & Massage, followed by Hot Heavy Un-Inhibited Adult Heaven with One Another, like Seriously Wild!! Addiction and Fetish (or whatever We call getting Your Freak On) is really a subjective term. Your Counterpart's Kink may be all together different and Unknown, veiled by His Own Fears that He just may be too Freaky for Ya!? My Girl doesn't want it nearly as much as i do, but, She is into Bondage and being Tied Up Sex of COurse.. but not Always like me : P You sound Very Well Minded, Hun… Enjoy Pretty Flower and don't let the Static of Other's overcome Your Own Frequencies. Be True to Yourself and have a Wonderful ThanksGiving EveryOne ; )

  23. […] • Do I have a sex addiction? […]

  24. […] boy, one lady from College Candy worries that she competence like sex too much. Like can’t get adequate of it BUT it […]

  25. adhirock says:

    making love 3 times in a week is normal.. but giving 6 blowjobs a day on a weekend? I think you have addiction. It will become worst and worst sex behavior at the end if you don’t handle your pleasure of sex. IMHO.

  26. Ben says:

    My ex named Katie also was a nympho. Granted I obliged her and made sure she was very well taken care of, but she did have a very high sex drive. Katie, if this is YOU, we should hook up for old times sake. ;)

  27. […] Sex isn’t fun Oh my god, sex is awesome. While I wouldn’t call myself a sex addict, my ideal weekend with my boo definitely involves a few rounds of horizontal tango. Three years […]

  28. link says:

    The mental illness is the root of the problem for me, although drugs and alcohol played a big role in the way i lived my life i needed to get some help with the direction

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