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I’m In College and I’m Religious
For a lot of my life, I’ve been a religious person. I went on mission trips every summer with my church, I was on my church’s Youth Board, and I attended mass every Sunday (oh yeah, I’m Catholic). So when I got to college, one of the first things I did was to see what campus ministries were available. While other girls were rolling out of bed at 1:00 pm on Sundays and going for a hungover brunch, I was in the student cinema with about a hundred other students praising God.
Because I became so involved with my campus ministry, I met a lot of friends with my same beliefs and morals. While this shouldn’t be a problem in my life, it became one almost from the very beginning. Once people find out that I’m religious, they start to make a lot false assumptions about myself, as well as my friends.
Assumption #1: We are holier than thou
The first thing I always hear is that we are “holier than thou.” I’ve learned through my experiences that a lot of other Christians have trouble going to church. They say that if they went, it would make them feel like they have to act holy all the time. So this makes it even difficult for me to really express everything I feel about God. I don’t want people pointing out examples of how I’m not leading the most holy life. And I’ll be the first to admit, sometimes it’s easier for me to pick one persona or another. Either the quiet, Christian girl who won’t talk about her problems or the troubled party-goer. A lot of people will argue that it’s not worth going to church because all the pews are filled with a bunch of hypocrites. Sure it’s a valid point, but they’re forgetting why we go to church in the first place.
We go to church because frankly, we aren’t good at being a holy people. We need God (because we aren’t perfect), so we seek Him in church. My friends and I are just like you and we won’t judge you because you might make different choices than us. I have never condemned people for their life choices, because that is one thing the Bible tells us to never do. What it does tell us to do is love everyone. As a Christian, I try to view people as God views them – with unconditional love.
Assumption #2: We don’t party
Another annoying assumption people make when they learn I’m religious and very active in my church is that I don’t party. Although the Bible tells me to not drink in excess (and I don’t drink 24/7), it doesn’t mean that I don’t drink and don’t go to parties. I would even be lying if I said I haven’t gone to church with a hangover. Some of us party, and some of us don’t, but don’t assume either way. Rather, find out by asking us. Every time friends from class ask me what I’m doing during the upcoming weekend and I say I’m going to a party thrown by a friend from church, they laugh. They picture us playing Scrabble and cuddled up under Snuggies. Not true.
Some of my most fun parties have been thrown by my church friends. So yes I do go clubbing, I do go to parties. Just because I love God doesn’t mean I don’t also love to shout Gaga lyrics to the top of my lungs and dance like crazy while laughing and holding a Coors in my hand.
Assumption #3: We are all conservative
Finally, the assumption I face almost daily is people assuming that I’m conservative because of my Catholic beliefs. Not true. The fact of the matter is I don’t discuss politics. What I will do, is listen to what you have to say, and if you want to talk about whether I agree with you or not, we can talk in person about it. Heck, I don’t even mind if we don’t really know each other and you want to hear my opinion about something. Even if you do sit down with me and talk to me about stuff like that, I’m nice to everyone. Like I said earlier, I was taught to love everyone, regardless of different beliefs. If you ask me how I feel, I’ll tell you, and there is no way you will ever change my mind about the topic, but I will say it calmly and don’t mind getting into friendly debates. I will never shut you down because you disagree with something I believe in. Because peace is essential to Christianity, and as a Christian I know that isn’t the way to change someone’s mind.
Why do I go to church?
So why do I go to church while in college? As silly as it sounds, it’s really relaxing to go to church on Sunday mornings and have an hour that is worry-free. For that hour classes, exams, etc. don’t matter. The only thing that matters is I am celebrating God. So it keeps me grounded and gives me a short break from all of my stress. Church is also a great place to meet friends and I-wanna-be-more-than-friends. Through my campus ministry I found friends with similar beliefs, passions, and lifestyles. We’ve been able to get really close because we’ve participated in lots of different activities with each other on a weekly basis. I met my boyfriend through my ministry, and we get along fantastically because we already agree on fundamental things. I go to church because unlike my friends who say college is for taking a break from religion, you can’t take a short “break” from religious life. You can’t just put it on hold until you’re “ready.” College is a time for growing, and learning. I take it upon myself to learn more about my faith on my own and stop depending on my parents for pushing me to do so. I go to church because I know I need it; I know I still have a lot of growing to do.
Everyone would have us believe (even some of the writers on this website) that college is a constant party and orgy, but that isn’t so. College is about finding yourself, and becoming more of who you always were (but didn’t realize it). As college students, we are all wanderers, forced out of our homes and into the real world. We wander until we discover what it is we want to do with our lives, and we succeed or we fail. We move forward, whether we know where we are headed or not. So while I am always wandering, I am never lost, because my religion helps guide my college experience.
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Laurie says:
Mon, 22nd Nov 20105:35 pm
Thank you for writing this. I too am very religious and am in college, and you pretty much just summed up everything I thought about regarding the two. Do you go to St. Ben's too like the picture? 'cause I'm a Bennie!!
YaniK says:
Mon, 22nd Nov 20105:43 pm
great post. As a visual arts student, and grunge band singer, people have a hard time believing I'm religious.
Vicki says:
Mon, 22nd Nov 20105:56 pm
Yes! Thank you so much for posting this! I feel like sometimes this site can be a little one-sided in its representation of college life, and it's nice to get another perspective.
Heather says:
Mon, 22nd Nov 20106:49 pm
I love this article.
Very well-written and I agree with everything you said
I can definitely relate to this!
<3
shari says:
Mon, 22nd Nov 20106:57 pm
thanks for this! i went to temple and dinner at the rabbi's house every friday during school and people just don't get it.
thefunkyjunkie says:
Mon, 22nd Nov 20107:00 pm
This was a great article!
curq says:
Mon, 22nd Nov 20107:21 pm
"Just because I love God doesn’t mean I don’t also love to shout Gaga lyrics to the top of my lungs and dance like crazy while laughing and holding a Coors in my hand." This is a great line!
I really enjoyed this article. I transfered from a Christian university to a state university, and trying to keep my faith, and explain it to those around me has become harder and harder! Great article
elegantromantic says:
Mon, 22nd Nov 20107:27 pm
Thank you thank you thank you for writing this! I'm a high school senior and I'm choosing colleges. I'm also Roman Catholic. I've was thinking about Christian colleges until I realized I didn't want THAT many rules for my college experience – I'm so glad to see that it IS possible to develop my faith AND still have that college experience. Thank you SO much for this <3
Hailey says:
Mon, 22nd Nov 20108:18 pm
I'm not religious at all and I am definitely guiltily of these assumptions. I really liked this article.
Bekah says:
Mon, 22nd Nov 20109:17 pm
This is a great post. People DO assume all of those things, I even find myself doing it. But it's so true, we don't sit in circles and knit or hate on non-religious people. Overall, I loved this article
Ashley says:
Mon, 22nd Nov 20109:50 pm
I went to a Catholic university (I graduated in May). For a large portion of my tenure, there were a lot of people who were Catholic who really did act like they were holier than thou. They would openly judge why I didn't go to Tuesday night mass and openly judge why I only went to the 6pm "quickie" mass. They asked me why I voted democratic when I "should have voted conservative" because that was the "Catholic way".
I really liked your article, because it's exactly how I feel too. Now I go to mass on a state universities campus (my fiance is a graduate student there), and I feel more comfortable going to the Newman Center than I ever did going to the church on campus at my alma mater!
xoxo
Hannah says:
Tue, 23rd Nov 20101:21 am
Thanks for this! Even at a Christian college a lot of people still have these assumption, so its even harder to do things without getting looked down upon by either the "holier than thou's" or the non-religious kids.
molly says:
Tue, 23rd Nov 20101:38 am
Just sayin, you wrote:
"Assumption #1: We are holier than thou"
BUT thennnn you wrote:
"While other girls were rolling out of bed at 1:00 pm on Sundays and going for a hungover brunch, I was in the student cinema with about a hundred other students praising God."
well, you are assuming that those of us who don't go to church are all rolling out of bed in the middle of the day after a night of debauchery. So….you totally fulfill assumption #1. Sounds a little holier than thou to me…
Christie - NC State University says:
Tue, 23rd Nov 20108:26 am
Sorry if it seemed that way, wasn't meant to.
It's just a stereotype/generalization, and I'm sorry but it applies to a lot of my friends who aren't religious. After a night of debauchery (which I joined them in), I always had to get up hours before them.
I wasn't trying to be "holier than thou", I was simply making a generalization based upon my own experiences. I know it doesn't apply to everyone, just like my article may not apply to a lot of religious women in college.
Christine says:
Wed, 24th Nov 20104:41 pm
Thanks for writing this. I'm not religious at all, and I'm guilty of sometimes stereotyping religious people because the only visible ones I see are the campus preachers telling me I'm going to burn in hell or the weirdos who try to "ask me a few questions" and then get violent when I say I don't believe in heaven. Sometimes it's hard to remember that a lot of the sane ones kindly keep to themselves and just live their lives.
Jane says:
Mon, 29th Nov 20109:40 pm
Awesome article! I go to Messiah and I agree with everything you said, even if I don't go to a secular college.
Deidre' says:
Thu, 2nd Dec 201012:46 pm
Awesome article. I'm right there with you. For a while I always felt guilty because I thought I was having to live two lives until I realized I really wasn't doing anything wrong nor was I hurting anyone. It's not about being perfect holy people, but striving to be the best we can be and having faith that God will give us the grace to be who he created us to be. :]
dee says:
Fri, 3rd Dec 20107:55 pm
Awesome article!
sara says:
Mon, 6th Dec 20107:28 am
Really enjoyed this article. I feel the same way about college life. I'm Muslim, so although I do go to parties, I don't drink. I hate when people ask me why, because if I tell them its because of religious reasons, they seem to think of me in a different way. Whereas, if it was for health/other reasons, I feel like it would be less of a big deal.