Tuffy Luv Breaks It Down

November 23, 2010 1:00 pm     Posted in Advice, Relationships  Tuffy Luv g+ page

Question? Answer: TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com


By Tuffy Luv

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and I love him. That is something that must be understood first and foremost.

However, over the past couple of months I keep thinking about breaking up with him. He is immature, selfish, and inconsiderate. He has never bought me anything for my birthday, Valentines Day, Christmas, Sweetest Day, or our anniversary. I buy him presents every time I’m supposed to, and when I’m out shopping and see something I know he would like, I get it. I always keep him in mind and do nice things for him but he NEVER does anything for me. I understand that he doesn’t have a lot of money, but whenever he does have extra money he won’t even buy me a flower or a card or ANYTHING! I’m always expected to pay for when we go out to eat or to the movies.

I don’t complain since I know he doesn’t have a job, neither do I but I always find a way to get him SOMETHING. I’m not the type of girl who needs to be showered with presents but it would be nice if he would do something for me when he’s able. For my birthday he worked with a friend and got a little bit of money he told me was for my birthday. He expected me to kiss his a** and be so proud of him, and I was because I thought it was sweet. But when he got paid he bought himself new movies, and even had me drive him to buy them. He told me he’d still get me something, and never did.

We always watch what he wants, granted most of the time I enjoy it because we have the same taste in movies for the most part, but it takes days, sometimes more, to get him to watch what I want, even though he usually ends up enjoying the movie anyway. He always wants to pick the music in MY car, but when I want to pick it he throws a fit and trashes whatever it is I’m listening to until I give in. When we’re out I catch him checking out other girls and when I confront him he doesn’t understand why I’m upset and thinks I’m just being jealous. I don’t mind if he looks at another girl but the fact that he goes out of his way to see if every random girl walking down the street, at the grocery store, or whereever we are is hot, not only irritates me but hurts me. He says he’s just looking, not cheating on me, so I shouldn’t be mad because “he didn’t do anything.”

I know he loves me and wouldn’t cheat on me (which is hard to find these days), and most of the time I’m so happy with him. But sometimes he just pisses me off to the point where I don’t want to be with him anymore. I don’t know what to do because I want to be with him but I also want more. I’m scared of losing him because there’s no one else and he’s the only guy I’ve been with. What if I break up with him and end up regretting it?

So I guess my question is how do you know when it’s time to say goodbye? Should I give him another chance? I’m not ready to say goodbye to him but I’m tired of being hurt and angry. What would you do?

Goodbye Girl

Dear Goodbye Girl,

Um. Now’s a good time.

What a total ashhole. This guy is so undeserving of your time I can’t even believe it.

It’s not about the money, ladies and gentlemen. It’s about the bratty behavior, and the selfishness, and the total disregard for Goodbye Girl’s feelings.

Goodbye Girl, what the floop are you thinking? I’m sorry, and I hate to be the one to break the bad news, but this guy doesn’t care about you. And that has nothing to do with you; he’s a self-absorbed prock with absolutely no idea HOW to care about someone besides himself. Why do you wanna be with someone like that, huh?

Well, one reason you give is that it’s hard to find someone who won’t cheat on you. Bootch, please!!! There are MANY, MANY men who won’t cheat on you. You wanna stay with a jerk because he hasn’t cheated on you yet and you magically know he won’t, even though he’s checking out girls left and right?! If you ask me, this guy seems like a prime candidate for Future Cheater. He’s already looking at every girl he sees, blatantly and in front of you. AND he’s giving you the old “you should be grateful I’m just looking” business, which is bullshoop. Why again are you so sure he won’t cheat?

And, um, he doesn’t have to BUY you something to give you a gift. He could, you know, MAKE you something, or TAKE you somewhere. Why are you always paying?! This is supposed to be a partnership, 50/50. It seems like you give him everything and he gives you nothing. He gets what he wants, when he wants it, and if he doesn’t, he makes your life miserable till you give in. You are slave to his every whim. VOM-O-RAMA. It’s so 1950s sitcom housewife I could puke.

I want to take this guy outside and poo on him in the street. Please break up with this idiot.

And, seriously, girl, get yourself some self respect. Why are you letting some guy treat you like you’re worthless?! Before you jump into the next relationship, you really better do some soul searching and remind yourself that you’re a person who deserves the same respect and treatment everyone else deserves. Stop kowtowing to some guy. It’s really gross.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

Like a little pain? Get more Tough Love right here.

7 Comments on "Tuffy Luv Breaks It Down"

  1. Bee says:
    Tue, 23rd Nov 20101:42 pm 

    i swear i could have written this 2 months ago…GET OUT. HE IS POISION.

  2. Bailey says:
    Tue, 23rd Nov 20102:26 pm 

    I dated a guy exactly like this on and off for 3 years. Like, I feel like this may have been him. And no, he never physically cheated on me, but if you've ever heard of emotional cheating, that was it. You can't prove it, so he can get away with being best friends with other girls and just saying "I just get along with girls better." Let me guess – he doesn't have very many friends, and the ones he does have are other girls?

    I'm sure he's very, very charming – he must be, to get you to do these things for him. But he knows you so well that he knows exactly how to twist his manipulation into seeming like he cares about you.

    You need to end this. I ended mine a year ago and I've had one of the best years of my life. The three years I dated him were definitely the three worst years of my life, bar none. I know it's a really hard decision, but either you'll wake up one day and just know it's over (that's what I did), or you'll break up with him, be sad for a while, and then realize it was for the best. Best of luck, girl. He isn't meant for you or he'd treat you better. I promise, from one manipulated sister to another.

  3. Nikita says:
    Tue, 23rd Nov 20102:41 pm 

    Wow. I can't believe you've been with him THIS long. Seriously, get out. Tuffy Luv has given the best advice.

    And another thing, my mom always tells me that you shouldn't give gifts expecting to get some back… although that would be nice, but if you're expecting someone to get you something because you went all out for them, don't bother giving gifts. :/

  4. dreamgirl says:
    Fri, 26th Nov 20106:58 pm 

    If you can't leave him because you think he loves you, well just wait and be miserable. Just don't bother your friends after he dumps you. I am sure your friends have given you all the advice you need. But you just hope that he might change. If from the very beginning he hasn't treated you with respect and appreciation, he will never do. It is obvious that he is using you, but love is blind, so you refuse to see the signs and signals that he is not in love with you, he is merely accepting everything that you offered and sees nothing wrong with it. It is unfortunate that you are denying yourself the right to be a respectable woman.

  5. G/W says:
    Mon, 29th Nov 20104:33 am 

    This is exactly what I worry about all the time. Girls who feel the pressure to be in relationships who stay in bad relationships because they don't see another choice.
    Dump his ass, hun. You're young and hot, you'll find someone else in no time.

  6. Hannah says:
    Wed, 1st Dec 201011:34 pm 

    it's like I wrote this! was just there a few weeks ago, exact same situation. unfortunately it took me doing something very wrong to get the courage to do it.

  7. chanel flat sandals says:
    Thu, 15th Sep 20118:22 am 

    This is such a wonderful list! I’ve saved it, just so that I can check the few things I have yet to learn off the list.

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