Duke It Out: Cyber Spying

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. Sometimes with mean words. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like transgender basketball players!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

By Lauren H

Who among us has never Facebook stalked? Anyone? Seriously, anyone? It’s easy and mostly harmless, so we all do it a little bit sometimes to see how much less awesome your ex’s new girlfriend is than you, or to find out if that cutie in you American Lit class is single (and into women). It’s not a big deal, right? But when does it cross the line? According to research, one third of women check their significant other’s web browser history to see what their partners been surfing and 1 in 10 has actually hacked into their SO’s email and personal accounts to keep an eye on them. Is this just a natural extension of our tech savvy, in-everybody’s-personal-business lives, or has technology turned us into creepy Fatal Attraction candidates?

On one side, I totally get it. You’re using your guy’s laptop and the history is right there, so easy to check; it’s the exact same allure that draws guys to want to know what we carry in our purses. It’s probably not that most of these women are checking to see if their guy is frequenting online dating sites or creepy fetish porn; more than likely it’s nothing more than simple curiosity, the same way you check out what’s on someone’s bookshelf to see what they like to read. The email thing, I have a little harder time with, but still, if there’s an insecurity there and a quick peek will make a girl feel better, then as long as the guy doesn’t have anything to hide, what’s the big deal?

On the B side, though, doesn’t that whole idea kind of undercut what relationships are supposed to be about? Trust isn’t easy by any means, and of course there’s a chance of getting hurt because of it, but is it any better to live on constant alert. Of course the temptation is overwhelming when it’s all right there on his computer and you could KNOW, but isn’t the whole point of trusting someone with your heart that you take that risk willingly? And isn’t the sneaking around and spying just undercutting all of that anyway? Aren’t you the one ruining your relationship when you do that?

What do you say? Have you done the cyber spying tango, or are you strictly an innocent until proven guilty kind of girl? Would you ever invade your SO’s privacy like that, or is it unthinkable? Have you been there done that? Tell me all about it, girls – duke it out!