Single Girl Society: First Order of Business
In the last year, it seems as though being single has been my specialty. While flings and hookups have come and gone (pun intended) and dates have left me with some less than desirable memories, my current single status has remained loyally by my side. I’ve learned a lot in the past year and I’ve discovered that single girls around the world are all in the same fabulous pair of shoes.
So if you’re sick of sitting at a table for one, eating a meal portioned for two, I cordially invite you to join The Single Girl Society, where being single is more than status, it’s a lifestyle. And with that lifestyle comes a few (or many) rules. These are some rules that I have picked up along the way. So kick back, grab a drink and let the lessons I’ve learned serve as your very own roadmap to living the single life.
Rule Number One: Never date the life of the party.
Sure, it seems like a good idea when you’re a few drinks in on the arm of the guy everyone loves. He’s got one hand on his brewski and the other on your hip while working the crowd, winning everyone over with his witty banter and impeccably sexy charm. The party is his sold-out stadium arena and he is the Lady Gaga that everyone waited all week to see perform. Everybody loves the life of the party; nobody actually falls in love with him.
The life of the party is usually the one with the most issues. Let’s be real, why else is would he seek out so much attention and approval from people? Though he may look like he’s not trying hard, that he’s just inherently cool, I can assure you that the life of the party, when he’s not at the party, battles issues with trust, intimacy and overcompensation. He gets along with everyone because he isn’t sure who he is yet. And while it’s fun to be on his arm while he tells his latest tale of drunken debauchery to the party groupies huddled around him, you might want to double-check if you’re just a prop in his one-man show.
Dating the life of the party is potentially the best and worst thing that could happen to your social life. While you’re dating, your party experience will be drastically heightened. You will gain ultimate cool points for snagging the guy everyone wants and you’ll run the streets of campus as the “it couple” of the party scene. It’s like you’re Brad and Angelina but instead of adopting children, you’ll hand out Keystone Light to the needy college kids in need of a damn good time.
However, social suicide always looms while dating the life of the party. When it’s over, you can bet that everyone’s going to be on his team. Even if you broke up because he cheated or he was in the wrong, in the minds of the million best friends he has, the life of the party can do no wrong. If things end badly, it’s an unwritten rule that you’ve been banished from the parties you’d gotten so used to living the high life at. You’ll go from the exclusive to the excluded and it’s not pretty.
So from now on, take your long-term relationship dream of taming the wild and crazy life of the party guy and instead opt for a continuously flirtatious and teasing relationship with him. As long as you’re not hooking up with him, you’ll be the girl he looks forward to seeing every weekend because you’ll stroke his ego just enough to keep him interested and since you’re not throwing yourself at him, he’ll know you’re more than a booty call. The life of the party needs a girl who can work him like he works the crowd. Always keep him wanting more and if he’s really into you – in a serious, potentially long-term relationship kind of way – then he’ll stick around and he’ll show you who he really is when he’s not at a party. But until then, it’s best to just hang back and enjoy his latest story of waking up in nothing but his boxers in field in west Texas next to a donkey and a pair of handcuffs after one too many Jack and Cokes.
What’s rule #2 of the Single Girl Society? Come back next Friday to find out!