6 Resolutions Every College Girl Should Make

December 23, 2010 Posted in College, Entertainment

Am I alone in feeling like New Year’s Resolutions are always the same? You want to lose weight, you decide to keep on top of your class readings…maybe you’re going to take up a new hobby or find a boyfriend. Yaaaaaawn! I think this year you, and the rest of humanity, should take on some serious resolutions. Like Oprah-sized resolutions. Ones that will positively impact society throughout the year, and hopefully for years to come.

Need a little help thinking of something that’s more charitable than you trying to fit back into your pre-college skinny jeans? Well, you’re in luck because I’ve come up with this little list of suggestions…

Boycott Ke$ha
A relatively simple move that can only have positive ramifications for future generations and any alien life forms who travel to our world light years from now. How would you like your child (or some little green dude) picking up a CD made by someone with a dollar sign in her name and listen to a track like “Party at a Rich Dude’s House”? They would actually think that you and everyone you knew actually listened to and liked a girl with hair extensions and crack eyes. Now, we can’t be having that.

Give Freshmen a Shot
At getting in your panties, at getting to the keg, at getting a chance to speak in class. Whatever it may be, try not to forget the younger people. You were once in their position, too. New on campus, unsure of the social hierarchy of frat parties, always on-time with your assignments, often ignored by everyone of legal drinking age. Make someone’s dreams come true this spring. And remember, stealing some little dude’s virginity is a good deed.

Petition to Get a Pinkberry on Every Corner
Seriously, have you ever eaten this swirly goodness? Have you had the privilege of selecting your own toppings and devouring a giant cup of low-fat possibly-yogurt with zero guilt? Do you have your frequent customer punch card!? Girlfriend, you’re missing out.

Convince MTV to Stop Giving Pregnant 16 Year-Olds Television Shows
So you’re a hobag who f*cked someone’s cousin in the bathroom at Lisa Masterson’s Sweet Sixteen party. I guess condoms weren’t part of the goody bag, because nine months later you’ve got a kid and a baby daddy. Should you stress? In a normal world, yes. But in the crazy reality-TV society we live in, you get a massive payday and D-List celebrity stardom. Ummm…can we just do something to fix this, please?

Attempt to Become Less Dependent on Facebook
Get that look off your face, I said “attempt”. You don’t need to quit your status updates and newsfeed refreshes cold turkey, but maybe we could possibly, all together, try to spend a teeny-tiny little bit less time on Facebook. It would be baby steps. But think about how much better life could be if you actually get out and enjoy your friends IRL (that’s “in real life”).

Wear Jeans at Least Once a Week
Yeah, we know it’s all about hangover comfort when it comes to class couture. But it won’t kill you to once in a while throw on a pair of jeans during the week. It will instantly make you feel more mature and more ready to start the day. Oh and you’ll also be able to avoid the spring break squeeze because you’ll feel it right away when that zipper starts acting up when it comes to zipping it up.

8211013 Comments2010-12-23+20%3A00%3A55Alex-+University+of+South+Carolina on "6 Resolutions Every College Girl Should Make"

Kenni says:
Thu, 23rd Dec 20103:41 pm

It's a little judgmental to call a girl who got pregnant at 16 " a hobag who f*cked someone’s cousin in the bathroom at Lisa Masterson’s Sweet Sixteen party." These girls are human, while getting pregnant may not be the best thing to do at that age, it was a mistake. They don't deserve to be looked down upon for making a mistake that has been happening for decades. I'm not saying what they did was okay, but try having some compassion.

Ashley says:
Thu, 23rd Dec 20104:26 pm

I agree with Kenni. While it's not exactly something to be proud of when you get prego at such a young age, that was a little much. Also the reason that's even on tv is because it is so relevant to the society that we live in.

Sara says:
Thu, 23rd Dec 20105:28 pm

I sincerely hope that you don't actually think every teenage girl who gets pregnant is "a hobag who f*cked someone's cousin in the bathroom." I don't want to defend the epidemic of teen pregnancy, but things happen. Have a heart.

Krissy says:
Fri, 24th Dec 20103:52 am

Hey, it can happen to anyone! Doesn't mean they sleep around. Just means they messed up. Oh well. Let it be. And besides, thanks to that show, the teen pregnancy rates are lower than they were before. *Snaps to them*

And second, the west coast's got Yogurtland, and trust me, we don't need pinkberry. :3 It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good.

Charlotte- University of Birmingham says:
Fri, 24th Dec 201012:05 pm

Oh god, I definitely need to cut down my facebook time.
And yep, every year- lose weight, find a boyfriend, work harder in my classes, be happy.
But instead, I spend my time on facebook.

Charlotte http://www.girlnextdoorfashion.net

Emily says:
Sat, 25th Dec 20102:40 am

Edit: Try to wear jeans and/or skirt EVERY single day.

Amanda says:
Sun, 26th Dec 20103:03 am

16 and Pregnant tells girls it's okay to get pregnant…if you do it too, you can be on tv! it's stupid. and west coast has yogurtland AND pinkberry…and a thousand of other froyo places. they're all delish.

Ella says:
Tue, 28th Dec 20104:58 pm

It's sad that in today's world, wearing jeans at least once a week should make you "feel more mature and ready to start the day". Seriously, you're dressed DOWN from jeans almost every day of the week? Really?

raj says:
Wed, 29th Dec 20103:03 am

any sex con me 09039527974

Danielle says:
Wed, 29th Dec 20105:52 pm

Research before you make generalizations and assumptions. According to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 82% of teens who watch 16 and Pregnant "think the show helps teens better understand the challenges of teen pregnancy and parenthood and how to avoid it." The girls shown on 16 and Pregnant struggle with abandonment, poverty, etc. They never say it is "okay to get pregnant". More often than not, the girls end the show by confessing that they wish they had waited longer to have a child.

ACollegeGirl says:
Wed, 29th Dec 20107:57 pm

I would hope that college girls have a little bit larger brains than this list gives them credit for…

Sara K says:
Wed, 29th Dec 201011:45 pm

As gnarly as Ke$ha's reputation is, she does make some pretty catchy tunes…come on there are way better things to put on this list

Zoe says:
Wed, 5th Jan 201112:55 pm

I 100% agree.

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