Friday Faves: Am I Too Picky?

December 24, 2010 11:00 am     Posted in Entertainment, HaHa, Relationships  Candy -- NYU g+ page


By Candy

Someone once told me that the reason I’m still single is because my standards are too high. I laughed in her face, flipping through a mental catalog of the disgusting creatures who’ve woken up in my bed.  “Au contraire,” I told her. “I think my standards are non existent.”

But last night, as I enjoyed a large DQ Blizzard while watching the latest drama on The Real Housewives of New York, I started reflecting on my dating past and why none of those boys are in my dating present. I grabbed a piece of paper (Ok, the back of a takeout menu…it was closer) and began listing all of the guys I’ve met/gotten naked with.

To my horror, the list had more dishes than the Chinese menu it was written on.

Next to each name I wrote down why that particular dude didn’t work out. Over half of the list consisted of “d-bag didn’t call me back,” or “don’t know his real name,” but the rest were my own doing. And after seeing it all written down on paper, I began to see my friend may have been right.

Reasons I’ve rejected boys:

- Too much body hair.
- Watched Fox news.
- Wears khaki cargo pants.
- Wears a pinkie ring.
- Too skinny.
- Jack rabbit sex.
- Says LOL and BRB online. And in person.
- Two words: Doc Martins.
- Gave me a UTI.
- Man boobs.
- Thick calves.
- Doesn’t know who Chelsea Handler is.
- Serious gambling and drug problem and now living at home with parents because he can’t be trusted alone.

Ok, so that last one is a pretty legitimate concern, but seeing the rest down on paper made me feel ridiculous. (And seeing it next to #C12 – Chicken Lo Mein – made me hungry.) Maybe my standards are too high when it comes to finding a boyfriend. Yes, my boom-boom-buddy standards consist merely of “will he get in a cab with me?” but I am unrealistically picky when it comes to something more.

Maybe a little body hair or some moobs (read: man boobs) aren’t such a bad thing; they’d definitely keep me warm on a cold, winter night. And, sure, the UTI was inconvenient (and could have killed me), but that wasn’t his fault, right?

I’m beginning to realize that maybe I wouldn’t spend so much time with DQ soft serve if I didn’t let such petty things get to me. A pinkie ring can be removed, but DQ on my thighs lasts forever.

I know I’m not the only one with a ridiculous list. What are some of the more absurd reasons you’ve rejected guys?

[This story was originally posted by Lauren - University of Michigan.]

Likey? Don’t worry, there are plenty more faves where this came from.

29 Comments on "Friday Faves: Am I Too Picky?"

  1. Miriam says:
    Fri, 24th Dec 201011:38 am 

    Maybe you ARE too picky, but personally, I'd rather be single than date a guy with too much body hair, man boobs, or a pinkie ring.

    Also, I don't know exactly what you mean by jack rabbit sex, but it sounds like it would definitely be a deal breaker…

  2. Charlotte- University of Birmingham says:
    Fri, 24th Dec 201012:03 pm 

    This made me smile so much!!
    I think it's hard- you want the best for yourself but then there's the universal cat-lady fear..

    Charlotte http://www.girlnextdoorfashion.net

  3. FRW says:
    Fri, 24th Dec 20103:03 pm 

    idk, your standards seem fine to me. all of those listed criteria are kindof… legitimate (except maybe thick calves/cargo pants… they can be overlooked). maybe you're looking in the wrong places?

  4. SGY says:
    Fri, 24th Dec 20103:21 pm 

    WERE DID YOU GET THAT PICTURE!!!

  5. Stop the hand outs says:
    Fri, 24th Dec 20103:49 pm 

    if you want him to pay for dinner you may also need to over look that he watches fox news. (they tend to work)

  6. kate says:
    Fri, 24th Dec 20104:12 pm 

    lol. fail.

  7. Kate says:
    Fri, 24th Dec 20104:13 pm 

    fox news is always a dealbreaker. don't sell yourself short on that one!

  8. Nathaniel Nacho Fancypants says:
    Sat, 25th Dec 20105:34 am 

    I had to look up Chelsea Handler, because she doesn't appear on any shows a guy would watch and hasn't written any books that a guy would read. And I watched her do standup for several minutes wondering why I wasn't laughing, before realizing that 90% of it was complete fluff. So, why is it supposed to be a bad thing that a guy doesn't know who she is?

    And yes, you're too picky.

  9. sara says:
    Sat, 25th Dec 20108:30 pm 

    I don't think you're being too picky- if something about a person really bugs you, be it a big or a little something, that's not your fault. I have a lot of deal-breakers and while it may seem shallow to not even consider the other things that guy could offer you, there's some things you're allowed to be picky about- and its up to your discretion to choose what those things are.

  10. Riko says:
    Sat, 25th Dec 201010:40 pm 

    Hmm I don’t think ur being too picky. Body hair may be unattractive and fox news? Yuck. The only one that doesn’t make sense is Chelsea handler who’s not funny… At all!

  11. Heather says:
    Sat, 25th Dec 201010:48 pm 

    @Miriam I think by jack rabbit sex she probably meant jack hammer lol

  12. Kareem says:
    Sun, 26th Dec 20102:32 am 

    This picture cannot be real! If it is, I feel bad for whoever had to take that photo. As for your reasons to reject guys, I can understand for most of them. The way a guy presents and takes care of himself can say a lot of things. For all the guys your rejected, I suggest you do them a favor and tell them why in the nicest way possible. For the most part you would be doing them a favor, as for the Chelsea Handler reason, I'd be concerned if the guy actually knew who that was if you know what I mean.

  13. Christy says:
    Sun, 26th Dec 201010:35 am 

    Honestly I think more of those are legit than you give yourself credit for. If someone has man boobs or is really hairy and that turns you off, you can't force yourself to be with them! You have to be physically attracted to someone for it to work or your chemistry will only go so far. Jack rabbit sex I also understand, especially if it ends in old lady syndrome like Carrie Bradshaw (Fingers crossed that you're getting the reference!)

    The rest though, yeah, they're pretty shallow, but regardless of how shallow your reasons are, if you're not happy with someone you shouldn't force yourself to stay with them.

  14. virginia says:
    Sun, 26th Dec 20103:27 pm 

    i've rejected guys because of braces, and puffer jackets, and because they didn't shave… come on, we're in college (:

  15. nightRN says:
    Tue, 28th Dec 20107:33 pm 

    Yeah I once ditched a guy b/c in bed he was saying "come on baby come on let me take you there!" ( very seriously I might add) While doing nothing that could please me in any way shape or form. Next!

  16. guest says:
    Wed, 29th Dec 20107:13 pm 

    RIGHT ON!

  17. guest says:
    Wed, 29th Dec 20107:18 pm 

    "And, sure, the UTI was inconvenient (and could have killed me), but that wasn’t his fault, right?"

    I have seen but-if-it's-not-his-fault-then-it-doesn't-count used to excuse rape (see the "But if he WAS unaware, why are you so angry?" part of http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf83001-0-60.html ) and strangling (see the "she described almost being choked to death by a young student and blames it on herself. She had tied her scarf 'stupidly'. At no point does she mention telling the child that what he had done was wrong and giving him a just punishment." part of http://letters.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/03/26/b… ). Take care of yourself, no matter how much the stuff that can hurt you isn't someone else's fault!

  18. theirway11 says:
    Sun, 2nd Jan 20113:58 pm 

    this guy kept calling things "money"…like "yeah, that concert was MONEY" and "yeah when the team wins it's MONEY." and I was like, pick a new adjective please.

  19. The Raisin Girl says:
    Mon, 24th Jan 20117:45 am 

    I once dumped a guy because he called my house, and when my grandmother–who, admittedly, could be slightly scary–answered, he lied and said he was my friend Rose.

    Here are some other really funny ones:
    -we had different stances on abortion
    -he was a communist
    -his head was too elongated
    -he wasn't analytical enough

  20. YourMother says:
    Sun, 13th Feb 20113:20 am 

    You're a slut.
    'Nuff said.

  21. Hannala says:
    Fri, 25th Feb 20117:04 pm 

    I've rejected guys for a few of the following reasons:

    -They were lazy in pursuing me/asking me out on an actual date
    -They were too immature to be in a serious relationship with
    - (this is one is a shallow one)– they were skinny – aka, no good shoulders!
    - They didn't intrique me enough
    - I got bored when talking to them, didn't know how to keep a conversation alive (i was doing all the work)

    I must say, I'm pretty sure my standards are too high as well. However, the more guys I meet, the more I'm realizing that these expectations are likely not going to be met. I think I'm okay with that!!

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