In the last year, it seems as though being single has been my specialty. While flings and hookups have come and gone (pun intended) and dates have left me with some less than desirable memories, my current single status has remained loyally by my side. I’ve learned a lot in the past year and I’ve discovered that single girls around the world are all in the same fabulous pair of shoes.
So if you’re sick of sitting at a table for one, eating a meal portioned for two, I cordially invite you to join The Single Girl Society, where being single is more than status, it’s a lifestyle. Of course, with everything in life, the single girl lifestyle comes with rules and I’ve picked up quite a few along the way. So kick back, grab a drink and let the lessons I’ve learned serve as your very own roadmap to transitioning to and enduring the single life.
So it’s New Year’s Eve and you’re single…again. Cue the tightest little black dress that practically defies the laws of physics. Cue double fisting $4 champagne. Cue the drunk dialing your ex just to tell him you “don’t miss him or his BMW at all!” Well…maybe not that last one. Not this year anyway. This new year leave your ex from Planet Douchebag behind and give closure another shot by making it your resolution.
Lesson 5: Sometimes you have to create your own closure.
Breakups are messy. You don’t always get a chance to tie up the loose ends from a burned relationship with your ex love. You don’t always get your questions answered. So when sitting down to rehash your feelings with your ex isn’t an option, it’s time to take it upon yourself to sort things out.
Now I don’t mean launch an all-out-Sydney-Bristow investigation on your ex and all the people you heard he cheated on you with (though I am a fan of any activity that allows you to rock a pleather cat suit). If you really want closure, you have to sort things out for yourself because after all, the only feelings you have control over are yours.
A lot of girls go into post-breakup meet-ups with their exes only to walk away even more confused. These girls search for answers to questions they should be asking themselves. You have to ask yourself if hearing the reasons why someone didn’t want to date you is really going to help you carry on with your newly single life.
Sometimes it’s more effective to channel your energy toward moving on instead of backtracking and putting yourself through the misery of a breakup after the actual breakup. You already suffered; there’s no need to put yourself through the pain again.
So how does a girl create her own closure?
Well, if a champagne diet isn’t your thing, no worries, closure is within reach and best of all, you can take baby steps!
If you’re not ready to defriend your ex on Facebook yet, then block him from your newsfeed instead. If you’re not ready to trash the evidence of your relationship yet, have your roommate or friend stash the pictures, letters and ticket stubs in a secret place until you’re ready to revisit the items without a bottle of Jack and bag of marshmallows. On the other hand – if you have no desire to keep any shred of evidence of your relationship – I highly recommend using your car to run over any items that remind you of your ex (like a scrapbook…).
Above all always remember that dwelling will only reverse any progress you’ve made in moving on from an ex. Newsflash: If you spend all your time wondering how your life could go on without your ex, it won’t go on. Dwelling traps you and ties you down to something (or someone) that doesn’t exist anymore.
So take a week to mourn your lost relationship, dwell alongside Breakfast at Tiffany’s and The Holiday and drain your sadness into your duvet comforter. But after that week ends, make progress a priority to finally move on with your life and leave your relationship behind. Closure is in your hands, now grab it and run!