Jersey Shore: Your Guide to a Perfect Premiere Party
That’s right CollegeCandyites, the time has come once again for our favorite bunch of swearing, drinking, and skanky kids to premiere their show on MTV tonight. No, I’m not talking about “Teen Mom,” I’m of course referring to the Seaside Heights gang that we watched tear up South Beach just a couple months ago. Or repeatedly over holiday break if you, like me, couldn’t get enough of the endless JS marathons running on MTV.
If you’re a devoted Shore fan, no doubt you will be celebrating the crew’s return to Seaside in straight up fist-pumping, hair scrunching Jersey style. Here are the essentials you need to throw your bash:
Bust out the DeadMau5, DJ TLX, Tiesto and Crystal Castles or whatever’s hot on your playlist right now. Pretty much anything you can beat that beat to will be acceptable.
When the commercials hit (every 6 minutes), read some brilliant literary passages straight from the mind of Miss Nicole herself. Check out this article where PopEater compares Snookers to her equals, the likes of Faulkner, Fitzgerald and Didion.
Jaeger, Ron Ron Juice and Devotion Vodka
It just wouldn’t be a shore night without some hard partying.
All hairsprays, gels, pomades and blow dryers you can get your paws on
That poof is not going to stay up with the sheer force of gravity. Please, that’s like saying JWoww’s rack defies gravity naturally, too. Grab onto your Redken super strength finishing spray (we like forceful 23) and get that blow out going!
Insane “Truth or Dare” games
You don’t need to play it in your underwear like the Shore kids did last season (because, ew…), but you can speed up commercial breaks by busting out the “questions game” or even downloading a sick, sexy truth or dare app on your smart phone.
Leopard print everything
Does this one even need any elaboration?
A brand new, wildcard member of your crew
Gear up for new castmate Deena by inviting a new friend over. Just don’t bother inviting your Angelina-esque grenade frenemy to this season’s event. Do you really want to miss out on the dramz cuz you’re rolling around on the floor in a hair pulling, cooka exposing rumble?
Jersey Shore season 3 (the best yet, according to our MTV insider!) premieres tonight at 10PM/9PM Central. Get a little taste right here.