We’ve All Been There: “SELFIES!”

By Lauren

Your hair is done, your makeup is on and your outfit is perfect. All you have to do is pack that wristlet and you’re ready to head out with your friends. Money? Check. ID? Check. Camera? Check.

Before you leave, you mix a few drinks and have a mini-dance party with the girls. Two rum and Diets and a few old school Britney songs later, it’s time to head out. But not without a “SELFIE!!”

You gather the girls around, make your sexy face, stick that arm out and capture the moment.

“Let me see!” your friends shriek.
“Ew. I have a double chin. One more!” So you take one more.
“Cuuuute!” everyone agrees. You put the camera back in your bag and head off to the bars.

Once there, you whip that camera out, strap it to your wrist and settle in for a night of partying. You beeline to the bar and order a round of shots. You snap a picture of them sitting on the bar, then you snap another of you and your friends cheers-ing. Then you ask the random dude standing next to you to get a picture of you taking them.

You chase the shot with a round of vodka sodas. Before you take the first sip, you ask a girl standing nearby to take a picture of you guys holding your drinks. Then, remembering how good you look, you ask your friend to get a shot of you and your drink alone.

“FACEBOOK!” you scream.

Suddenly, you hear Kelly Clarkson blaring from the DJ booth. You make your way to the dance floor, camera swinging from your wrist, to shake your rump. You do a little dance, pause, and take a picture of your friend getting humped from behind by a total shadester. Then you gather the girls together for a selfie.

“Want me to take that for you?” a nice gentleman asks.

“Nah, I love me some selfies.” You stick your arm out (and your chin up – you don’t want any double-chin action) and take the pic. Realizing you left the camera on zoom and only captured your teeth and your friend’s hair, you do it again.

“CUTE!” you all shriek.

“Ok, now let’s do ‘you just found out your boyfriend is gay’,” one friend proposes. You huddle up, stick the camera out and take the pic. Then you pass it around for everyone to admire.

“Ok, how about ‘who farted?’” another friend recommends. So you do it again. And again. And again. There is “sexy,” and “drunk,” and “your drink is empty.”

When you go to the bathroom, you snap some pictures (“SELFIE IN THE STALL!”). When you stop for pizza on the way home you snap some pictures (“SELFIE WITH A SLICE!”). When you get home and your feet are totally blistery from those heels, you snap some pictures (“Ew, our feet are gross!”).

And when you wake up in the morning, you grab your camera and flip through the ridiculousness that was last night. By the time you make it out of bed, you have 5 emails from friends begging you to post those puppies on Facebook.

Yup – been there. I don’t know what it is, but – much like a guy in a hot pair of jeans -  there is something about the alcohol/selfie combo that is just impossible to resist.