Like most single girls out there, I’m constantly looking for someone or something to explain my poor luck in love. I seek the honest opinions of my friends (“Seriously, do I have a mustache?”), I seek the advice of dating experts (CollegeCandy’s dating coach and resident Dude have been my go-tos as of late), I watch The Bachelor (though, that’s just to make myself feel a little less crazy), and when a new love and relationship study comes out that might clue me in to the mind of men, I grab my highlighter and start reading.
And where does that leave me?
Uh, exactly where I was before I wasted my precious time and highlighter juice on that crap.
It seems like every day there’s a new relationship study published somewhere. One day the news lady with the helmet hair is saying that guys are attracted to curvy women; the next day she’s saying they like ‘em stick thin. One says we’re attracted to people who look like our parents. Another says we prefer someone to say something nice to us than to have sex at all. The Today Show will highlight a study saying that men love independent women while, at the same exact time, Good Morning America will share findings that men want the damsel in distress.
Grrrrr. Which is it, people?
The latest in “dating psychology” findings? Men want women who aren’t beautiful. The non-scientific study conducted by OK Cupid found that “the more men as a group disagree about a woman’s looks, the more they end up liking her; that having some men think you’re ugly actually works in a woman’s favor.”
So….the reason I’ve been single for over 2 years is because I’m just too damn pretty? Look, I’m quite self-confident (my mother is constantly telling me she needs to install wider doorways in our house so I can fit my head through them….), but even I find that hard to believe. I am far from perfect and do I have dudes beating down my door?
Sigh. I wish.
The only thing I do believe in this and all studies I hear about is that they are a waste of money and time, and only conducted to keep us soon-to-be crazy cat ladies from picking up our first 10lb bag of kitty litter.
Look, as much as I want answers, as we all want clear, defined answers, when it comes to dating, they don’t exist. There is no secret to finding ‘the one.’ Hell, there might not even be a ‘one.’ Some people find their other half in a bar, others find them at work. Some girls date people that look like their parents, others might find someone who is the complete opposite. Some guys do prefer curvy women, and some prefer girls who don’t look perfect. But none of those things, not ONE, applies to every single person out there.
Dating is not a science, so it’s time to stop looking at it scientifically. There is no study out there that can predict what everyone really wants, so let’s stop trying to find the answers and just start trying to find our perfect person. Because deep down, I know that when the time is right I will find my guy who likes curvy, red headed, loud, hilarious-when-drunk, Wolverine-football-obsessed women, and I’ll never find him in some stupid survey.
But until that time comes, I’ll still be watching The Bachelor. While it won’t give me any sound dating advice, it will give me the trainwreck drama we all need in our lives.