The Post Grad Journey: “What Do You Want To Be?”

January 18, 2011 2:00 pm     Posted in Reality  Charlsie Niemiec g+ page

When I was little, I wanted to be a ballerina, a doctor, a lawyer, a novelist, a teacher, an Academy Award winning actress, a painter, and pretty much every other profession under the sun. In high school and college, I wanted to be a social media expert, a children’s literature publishing guru, a writer, and of course, a lawyer.


By Charlsie Niemiec

I think it’s interesting how when you are younger people tell you that you can be anything you want to be, or anything that you will set your mind to. Although we all wish this was true, that’s not always the case. Come adulthood, people get caught up in stereotypes and expectations. Salaries and “good” jobs. What (they think) you should be.

And quite frankly, I’m sick of it.

Since becoming a post-grad, I have heard so many people question my aspirations. I’ve seen it happen to my friends too. Parents, professors, friends, significant others, and just about every extended family members start with questions: “Why do you want to go abroad and live in South Africa after graduation?” “Why do you want to go to school at that school?” “You got your degree in economics, so you should go to grad school for that — or else you wasted four years.” In my case, I’ve heard a lot of “Why did you major in English if you don’t want to be a journalist?” and then “You were born a writer — you shouldn’t pursue law school.”

Um, while I appreciate the input, I just can’t help but find myself irked when statements like that are made. Unless I’m asking for career advice or making a life-altering decision, there is no reason why the things that I want to do should be in question. It feels like I can’t make my own decisions, or that people aren’t 100% with me. Or that, oh the horror, I’m making a terrible decision that I will regret for the rest of my life and I should just start over from scratch. Seriously, people, I’m fragile right now; I need support, not someone to question my choices!

Luckily, I haven’t been experiencing this my entire life. Some people are told from the beginning of their childhood “you will be (insert some kind of profession here).” And their parents plan accordingly, never letting the kid figure out what they want. But maybe those kids are better off? Their lives are on one specific track, decided by mom and dad. They don’t need to question anything; they simply just have to go with the flow. Me — not so much. It’s my path to choose, whether I want to go to law school or become a writer or move to Africa and build schools. It’s all up to me… and having all those choices is scary.

So, here is my plea for myself and all other post-grads out there: Butt out. No post grad, especially in this economic climate, needs to be doubted or told to redirect themselves. If we want advice, trust me, we’ll ask. But if I’m just doing my thing, I don’t need to hear your opinion. I spend so much time second guessing myself and sorting out the prospects of my future, I don’t need anyone else getting into my head and making it worse.

But really, from now on, when people ask me what I am doing or what I want to be, I’m going to say one thing and one thing only: “Happy. I want to be happy.” Being happy may not be an answer that people want to hear in terms of “What I want to be,” but at the end of the day, I think it’s the end-all-be-all of trying to figure all this stuff out anyway.

And if nothing else, at least it will shut them all up.

22 Comments on "The Post Grad Journey: “What Do You Want To Be?”"

  1. Brandon says:
    Tue, 18th Jan 20113:59 pm 

    Hey Charlsie,

    I feel you on this one. My whole life I've never decided to settle. Even now I have aspirations to build the best marketing company ever, as well as start and help start a few other companies. People call me crazy, but I don't care. I join you in asking everyone to butt out. We just want to do what we love. And would rather not get stuck in a job we hate and end up hating our lives.

  2. CMS says:
    Tue, 18th Jan 20114:03 pm 

    I couldn't agree more! I've always been interested in music and theatre, and my mom was a piano major in college but my dad was a scientist, so while I was supported somewhat my dad's side of the family always told little "stories" at family dinners and holidays about people they knew who were musicians but then had ot give it up and go back to law school or medical school. Barf. I finally graduated with a theatre and business degree to combine what I love with something more "practical" and turns out there are A LOT of things I can do with that in theatre or any other entertainment industry company as well. Aaand I'm not a pharmacist somewhere making "the big bucks" but hating my life. I'd rather work hard to get a job I love that doesn't feel like work once I'm doing it, than work at something I hate even though I'm making a ton of money. People need to understand that happiness can't be bought after a certain amount, and waking up excited to go to work is the best feeling in the world!

  3. Britney says:
    Tue, 18th Jan 20115:06 pm 

    I feel you on this one! All my life I have dreamed of being a writer. I'm not sure what type of writing I want to go into just yet- journalism, creative, screenwriting, or what. But people seem to always question what I want to do even though it's MY life! This is our time to explore and make decisions and learn about ourselves. My advice: Do what makes you happy at that moment!

  4. Jules says:
    Tue, 18th Jan 201110:08 pm 

    As a brand new 1L myself ( who is fortunate enough to have the support of family and friends), I can tell you that a strong background in English will be invaluable to you as it is all reading all the time and speaking and writing are what we get graded on. Also, if you're a journalist too, you will be able to sift through all the BS in cases and get to what really matters (The issue at hand and how it is applied pertaining to the holdings of the case). If it is what you want to do and you have the drive, you will be successful! Good Luck!

  5. Emme says:
    Tue, 18th Jan 201111:48 pm 

    Over Christmas I had a conversation with my father on this very subject. He let me in on a little secret: None of the adults in our lives/ wiser generation knew what the hell they were doing at our age either! This was so lovely, and refreshing to hear as a post grad that is freaking out about every decision I make in regards to my future career and what path I want my life to take. Now every time some pseudo family member, or random grownup decides to put in their two cents on my grad school, plans to live abroad, or my woeful choice to pursue a career in the arts; I think to myself, "When you were my age you didn't know what the f*ck you were doing either." Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

  6. @sasayj says:
    Wed, 19th Jan 201112:42 am 

    People need to understand that happiness can't be bought after a certain amount, and waking up excited to go to work is the best feeling in the world! …My boyfriend thinks the same as I do. He is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at euagecupid.c“0m a nice and free place for younger women andolder men, or older women and younger men, to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.

  7. @psitutor says:
    Wed, 19th Jan 20111:03 am 

    I'm a happy postgrad ~:-) I left academia after a year and a half~had three months to go on my Masters and was working at the uni~ completely disillusioned by politics of self interest. Now I work from home online with tertiary students, develop professionally via online courses (at mo Grad. Cert in Tertiary Teaching and in Feb start Grad Dip in Counselling). I supplement my income with office cleaning and a couple of homes I declutter, which has helped myself and a friend launch a reuse, recycle Junk Wave business~ earning extra income, helping charities and the enviro.

  8. Anon. says:
    Wed, 19th Jan 20113:39 am 

    OMG I so agree with you and I'm dealing with this exact thing right now. Most adults think so small and assume that just because we're young we're not capable of knowing and getting what we want. I've started just giving one-word answers and ignoring as much of it as I can. Not feeding it seems to work.

  9. Stephanie says:
    Thu, 20th Jan 20112:41 pm 

    I'm going to have to disagree with you. Perhaps they are questioning what you're doing because from an outside perspective, it seems like you lack direction. I understand that there are many options and many different directions your life can go post-grad…. but shouldn't all of them help you get to your dream job. So if plan A didn't work out, then you go to plan B or heaven forbid, plan C. But all paths should lead in one direction. So maybe they are questioning you because it doesn't make sense to them. At some point in your life, you will realize that people older than you sometimes really do know better. I go through this with my younger sister all the time, she never listens then comes back months later and says, you know you were right. We will learn from our mistakes I guess. It seems to me like these older people in your life don't want you to make mistakes. You should be grateful to have people in your life who care.

  10. Charlsie - Hollins University says:
    Tue, 25th Jan 20116:58 pm 

    I think as long as you're doing what makes you happy in the genre of your choice … things will work out. Who cares if you end up being a creative nonfiction writer but you are strictly screenwriting right now? It all equals experience. In undergrad, I was an English major and I took so many classes in so many genres — to get as much experience and understanding as I could, and doing so was really valuable to my overall understanding of English literature and the writing that is out there. It's definitely shaped who I am today.

  11. Charlsie - Hollins University says:
    Tue, 25th Jan 20117:00 pm 

    Hi Brandon! Congrats on being so determined to create the best marketing company ever. It sounds like you're following the path you want, and I say … to hell with everyone else!

  12. Charlsie - Hollins University says:
    Tue, 25th Jan 20117:03 pm 

    I'm very respectful and grateful to the people in my life and the concerns they voice, but I will say that a lot of them have said things like "You were born a writer — nothing else." And after 22 years of being me, that's not 100% true. There are so many other things that matter to me beyond writing, so I don't think it's fair to judge me based on my other choices simply because I'm not following the path so and so thought I was meant to go down. Writing will always be a huge influence on my life, but it's not the only influence I want to inspire me.

    I do think you're very right about learning from mistakes. Some people need to make those mistakes to see things a little differently. Others, not so much. Everyone's different. However, I do think people shouldn't just assume what they want for someone else is the right thing.

  13. Charlsie - Hollins University says:
    Tue, 25th Jan 20117:05 pm 

    Great advice — don't feed it. You're so smart by ignoring it as much as possible. I have, and even though some people have been a little more forward than others, I have dodged a lot of bullets by ignoring it flat out. I also think sarcastic answers or shocking responses can be fun too. "What are you doing with your life?" … "Well, I'm going to become a hooker, obviously!"

  14. Charlsie - Hollins University says:
    Tue, 25th Jan 20117:06 pm 

    Excellent! I love hearing stories like this.

  15. Charlsie - Hollins University says:
    Tue, 25th Jan 20117:09 pm 

    Your dad is so smart. I don't think anyone at this age knows exactly where they are going or can pinpoint their future 100%, which is funny because people sure forget that (especially when they get older). Who is to say that someone else knows better, even if they are older? And Emme, I can't stop but laugh at "pseudo family members" and "random grownups" because I've found they are the ones with a lot to say, not actual close-knit family members!

  16. Charlsie - Hollins University says:
    Tue, 25th Jan 20117:10 pm 

    Hi Jules! Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I hope that one day my English degree will benefit me, whether it's in law school or not. Good luck on the rest of your 1L year.

  17. Charlsie - Hollins University says:
    Tue, 25th Jan 20117:11 pm 

    "People need to understand that happiness can't be bought after a certain amount, and waking up excited to go to work is the best feeling in the world!" I couldn't have said that better myself. This is so true. I rather be happy and have to work my ass off instead of miserable and have some kind of easy ride, doing something I hate.

  18. Chelsea Ostrum says:
    Wed, 23rd Feb 201110:45 am 

    My Uncle sent me this article and I absolutely love it! I too plan on moving to South Africa when I finish school…..When I was like 3 or 4 I became highly interested in great white sharks (different for a little girl, right?) and since then i wanted to become a marine biologist…. However many people led me in the different direction, telling me it will "get you nowhere." So when I got accepted to college I majored in English and Secondary Education…..It was a drag, I didn't like the classes and one day while in the science building I saw a poster of sharks and thought "this is where I need to be." I switched my major to marine biology & mammalogy. When I'm done I plan to move to South Africa to study Great Whites, Lions, and Leopards…. I've never been happier.

  19. serina says:
    Thu, 10th Mar 201112:22 am 

    I completely agree. I mean I went to school thinking studying what I loved, and now Im to a point where I'm like well I feel like Im destined to do more with my self than just that. I feel like I can make a difference and help people but also I dont want to waste any time making a decision to do something I hate. I want to do what I love but I guess right now what I love wont always be what I love. So im stuck figuring out what I want to do that I will love in the long haul. Goodluck girl. You will figure it out, just do what your heart says. I feel like we think way more than actually doing. We can never actually be a failure if we never try. And never trying is worse than being a failure I believe.

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