Top 5 Modern College Norms Parents Will Never Understand
As a college student I’ve learned that there are just some things that parents will never understand. And I’m not talking about how to change their profile pictures or how to DVR The Closer. I’m talking about the way life is now; the way we college students communicate and socialize and hook-up. I know I personally joke about my parents living when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, but sometimes, after being forced to explain to them what a sext is, I find myself thinking this could actually be true.
So in case you think you’re the only one with confused parents (why don’t you just pick up the phone and call her! Why do you always have to text everyone!?), this list will help you to see that you’re not the only constantly having to justify to your parents that slapping a bag of boxed wine is a fine way to spend a Saturday night.
1. We drink like champions
Let me just start by saying, parents will NEVER UNDERSTAND why college kids drink so much. I think we can all say that it’s a fun thing to do, a great way to meet people, and an easy way to break the ice with the cute guy across the room. Yet parents will always wonder if a kegstand is actually safe and why taping cheap beer to your hands is fun. Just accept the fact that no matter how many times you try to explain the rules of Beer Pong, parents will think that package of ping pong balls in your room is because you and your friends reaaally got into ping pong this past summer.
2. Hungry? Let’s Order Pizza!
If you didn’t make it to the dining hall before it closed or ran out of pasta to make at your apartment, pizza is usually the first thing to come to mind. Parents don’t understand that it completely normal to order pizza seven nights a week without even peeking inside the fridge. Healthy eating doesn’t really exist in college. Sure we go to the gym and sure we sometimes make sure to order chicken AND BROCCOLI from the Chinese place, but we rarely pull out the food pyramid and consult it.
3. Dating? What’s that?
Our parents grew up in an era when men held the door open for women and automatically picked up the check at a restaurant. In this day and age, they are shocked to find out that you met a hot guy at a party a few weekends ago, but have only texted back and forth a few times. The extent of a date is a swipe into the dining hall — and if you are really getting crazy maybe a movie back at the dorm while your roommate is blasting music/studying/bbming. Personally, I’m good with the random make out sessions on the weekends; the dating can wait until after college when guys are more interested in dating than how many beers they can chug in 2 minutes.
4. Hey dad? So I kind of need some money…
As we all know, everything costs money and sometimes parents don’t understand what we’re doing with that $500 they put in the bank account at the beginning of the semester. Let’s face it, college is expensive and if you ARE ordering that pizza all the time you probably will need a constant influx of money from your parents. Yet, in case your parents are stubborn, I usually just tell them I’ll pay them back in full when I become rich and famous. Gets them every time!
5. School > Home
When college kids go home for breaks or vacations, parents are usually the ones that are more excited than the students. Coming home means having an actual curfew. And worse than the curfew, it means actually sleeping alone, like no inviting your former high school flame to spend the night. They’ll never understand why you’re so excited to go back to school, nor will they ever get why we sit on the couch for our entire break watching horrible TV, with our laptops on our lap, videochatting with all our college friends.
What about you? What are you constantly trying to explain to the parental units?