So here on CollegeCandy, we provide you ladies with what we consider to be some pretty awesome advice. Sex tips. Study tips. Relationship advice, and fashion finds. We know; we’re awesome like that. But the rest of the world? Well, when it comes to providing girls with great life advice, they’re not always quite as helpful. Their rules? A little bit less enjoyable for women to follow. (I’m looking at you, Seventeen!)
Don’t get me wrong. I love rules. They’re great. They provide order. Structure. Prevent us from killing each other over the little things (Like your roommate eating the last of the Tostitos) and the big things (Like your roommate eating the last of the Lime Tostitos). Those rules are important, necessary even. But some rules, well they’re not quite as important, not quite as necessary. In fact, they’re not necessary at all.
Some rules, especially rules for girls, well, they’re just made to be broken…
1. Always behave like a lady. Prim and proper and absolutely perfect. Think Martha Stewart meets Sarah Palin. Or something like that. I’ve never been all that good with this rule
2. Marry early. And marry well. Because that is what decides our social value, isn’t it ladies?
3. Primp. Always. Makeup is a necessary in order for one to appear presentable. Your hair should look like you just came from the salon. And your clothes, well, you should look like you raided Leighton Meester’s closet.
4. Have lots and lots of babies. And don’t wait! Because if you wait you’ll dry up and then be absolutely useless!
5. Wait for a guy to ask you out. Never make the first move. Ever. Because men don’t like a girl that speaks her mind. Because women…
6. Should be seen and not heard. I’m sorry, isn’t this rule often used for children, as well?
7. Women should wear pink. And ruffles. And lots and lots of lace. No offense to Elle Woods, but pink is just not my color. OK?
8. Be hairless. Down there. And everywhere. And anywhere. (Except, you know, on your head. That hair has to super-model length long, obviously). But guys, well they can look like Chewbacca, and it’s all good. They’re manly men. They can’t wax or shave! They’d cry way too easily if they ever had to manscape. And besides, men are supposed to be hairy and we’re supposed to accept that.
9. Don’t be a tease. But…
10. Don’t be a whore. And, remember, even more importantly….
11. Don’t dress like a slut. I guess I’ll put that sheer, lace dress away then, and grab my hoop skirt instead. Oh wait, I forgot…
12. Don’t dress like a prude. So I’ll make sure that I’m always showing some cleavage. Maybe get a tramp stamp to keep things interesting?
13. Don’t get a pet. Because then you’re the crazy cat lady.
14. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. No. The organ you’re looking for is a little further south.
15. Make sure your man’s not intimidated by your own awesomeness. Because you wouldn’t want to outshine him by having a better job, or getting your life together, would you? (Uh…yeah?)
Like I said, ladies, some of our rules, even the ones we impart on ourselves, are just meant to be broken.
Which rules for girls do you hate the most?