Gossip Cheat Sheet: Hollywood Can’t Take A Joke

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This week, the Golden Globes happened along with a lot of other fun stuff! Celebs got pissed, celebs got engaged, celebs broke up, and some celebs even had secret babies! All in all, a well-rounded week, I’d say.

Back To The Semester Parties

1. You’ll probably never see Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes again. Despite the fact that he did a hilarious job of hosting the Golden Globes, which would have been utterly dull without him, Ricky Gervais’s jokes are being slammed by the majority of Hollywood. Why? I guess because he made fun of both Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp within the first five minutes (I guess Hollywood royalty isn’t used to being picked on…), he trashed the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press, and according to some people, he just went ‘too far’ with the jokes he made about Robert Downey Jr., Bruce Willis, and Tom Cruise. There were tons of rumors that he was asked to never return – but apparently, Ricky has made that decision on his own. Can we pull the stick out of Hollywood’s Botox-injected butt, please?

2. Halle Berry is having baby daddy drama. She’s going into a custody battle with her ex, Gabriel Aubry, over their daughter Nahla. He wants to be officially declared the father, and wants joint custody of his daughter. Can’t really blame the guy, can you? Their break-up seemed pretty friendly, but let’s see what happens when the court gets involved.

3. Anne Hathaway had a great week – not only has it been announced that she’ll be making an appearance on Glee, but she was also cast as Catwoman in Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises. I guess we’ll find out if Anne has the vocal ability to hold her own on Glee, and the body to pull off that catsuit. All that and the fact that she gets to host the Oscars with James Franco AND got to make out with Jake Gyllenhaal for a movie makes me kind of hate her… and want her life.

4. Kanye West is PISSED. Earlier this week, the rapper made a little joke on his Twitter about Britney Spears: “I’mma let you be #1, but me and Jay-Z single is one of the best songs of all time!” Britney’s manager replied with, “Thanks for letting us be #1. Much appreciated.” The whole thing was obviously a joke, with Kanye kind of making fun of himself. But the media blew the entire thing out of proportion (WHAT? I know, that never happens), and Kanye was not very happy about it. He wrote a little blog about it, saying “This sh*t takes the air out of my lungs sometimes from blogs to news reports… enough already!!” Amen, Kanye. AMEN.

5.  Nicole Kidman had a secret baby. Kind of. She and Keith Urban welcomed a daughter born through a surrogate mother. No one knew it was happening, so it was pretty random. Too bad this didn’t happen last week, when everyone in Hollywood decided to get pregnant.

Back To The Semester Studying

1. Regis Philbin is retiring. He’s leaving his long-standing post as the host of Live! With Regis and Kelly. Everyone is already wondering who will replace him… but no one seems to be too surprised. That dude is OLD.

2. The Coachella 2011 lineup was announced. If you live in California or near this area, just know that I am extremely jealous of you. Set to perform are Kanye West, Arcade Fire, Kings of Leon, Lauryn Hill, Interpol, Neon Trees, Jimmy Eat World, Duran Duran, and soooo many more. Tickets are almost $300 for the 3-day concert, but it’s also an amazing celeb-and-music filled event that everyone should experience. Like I said… jealous, from cold New York.

3. Jake Gyllenhaal was spotted with Camilla Belle, and the dating rumors immediately flooded the Internet. It WAS kind of a weird coincidence that right after he breaks up with Taylor Swift, he was spotted with her reported ‘enemy’. Oh man, I can’t wait to hear this song.

4. Don’t worry, ladies and guys – Pauly D is still single, as is January Jones. January Jones and her boyfriend, SNL star Jason Sudekis, broke up this week. Honestly, I had no idea they were dating (shameful for me to admit as a gossip blogger), but that sucks because she’s beautiful and he’s funny. And if you were hoping to run into Pauly D at a club and make out with him, you still can. He denied that he’s dating both Chloe Sevigny and Brittany Gastineau.

5. Two more Hollywood engagements: Jodie Sweetin, former Full House star, got engaged. Aw, Stephanie Tanner! But I can’t say I’m happy for these other two – Jesse James and Kat Von D. Ew. You deserve each other. (Sandra, you’re so much better).

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