And The Award for Worst College Behavior Goes To…
With the list of Razzie’s nominations coming out and celebrating the worst of the worst in Hollywood, we thought we’d award our own set of Razzies to some oh-so-deserving college students who have not been demonstrating the best college behavior this year. And by “not demonstrating the best” we we’re not talking about students who skipped a few classes or drunkenly fell off a few lofts. We’re talking bad. Really bad. The kind of stuff that keeps your mom up all night worrying that you might be this dumb and that maybe college isn’t for you and you should be home-schooled like that weird kid who picked his nose and wiped it on the swing set in your neighborhood growing up.
Yeah, that bad.
And the award goes to:
The award for disgusting behavior goes to the pledges and brothers of the Delta Kappa Epsilon chapter at Yale University. The pledges were led to the freshman girls’ dorms while blindfolded and shouting “No means yes, yes means anal.” But it didn’t stop there. The pledges then began to shout about necrophilia, which is, as you know, having sex with corpses. Classy, Yale! Not only is this just disgusting and offensive, but don’t these guys have brains?! I understand that it was a pledge activity and yada, yada, yada, but did no one stop and think about how degrading or downright stupid that activity might have been?
The award for sloppiest partiers goes to the girls of Pi Beta Phi and Alpha Xi Delta from the Miami of Ohio chapters. In two days two sororities were suspended for wrecking the venues they rented out for their formals. Not only did the Pi Beta Phi girls arrive hammered to the event, but also stole booze and had sex in public. Of course, someone also dropped a shadoobie by the door on the way out! The next day, Alpha Xi Delta (the rival sorority) attempted to out-do the classy girls of Pi Beta Phi by also stealing alcohol and peeing all over the bathroom floor and on a museum exhibit. I’m all about drunken debauchery, but these ladies give sororities and college women a bad name.
The award for over sharing goes to Karen Owens, infamous author of the Duke F**K List. Not only did she have pictures of them (from their Facebook accounts), but she also gave detailed evaluations of their performances. And then she sent it out to her friends…who sent it on to their friends…. and the information that those jocks thought would be safe with Duke’s own Carrie Bradshaw wasn’t so safe after all. Looks like someone’s experiencing a dry spell!
The award for worst use of special privileges goes to Terrelle Pryor, Devier Posey, Solomon Thomas, Daniel “Boom” Herron, and Mike Adams, for using their status as Ohio State football players to get free tattoos in exchange for autographs. Standard, really. I mean, why not break the clearly stated rules for something as valuable as a barbed wire tat around your bulging bicep? Did you also offer up a signed football for a $5 foot-long at Subday? The five offenders will now be sitting out for the first five games of next season and each have to pay $2,5000 to a charity of their choice. No, the “OSU Tattoo Fund” does not count.
The award for the worst role models goes to the Columbia University Alpha Epsilon Pi, Pi Kappa Alpha, and Psi Upsilon fraternities. On a late Tuesday night several members of the fraternities were caught and arrested for allegedly selling drugs. Lots and lots of drugs. Not the smartest way to pay that Ivy League tuition, huh, boys?
The award for the worst college scam goes to Adam Wheeler, who tried to fake his way into Harvard. After lying on a scholarship application as well as plagiarizing a Professor’s (who actually worked at Harvard) work, Wheeler was thrown out of Harvard and is now being ordered to repay Harvard $46,000. Had he not been dumb enough to rip off someone’s work, Wheeler just might have graduated without being caught. Now I think we all know why the kid couldn’t get in on his own merit. Moron.
The award for most disgusting college behavior goes to the brothers of the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity from the University of California, San Diego chapter. During a reunion of black alumni of UC San Diego the brothers allegedly hosted a “Compton Cookout” where attendees were encouraged to dress and act “ghetto.” Not only was this party offensive to the African-American community, but students of color felt threatened and unsafe on campus. Because of the uproar against the party, a broadcast from the campus TV station was aired in defense of it, calling critics of the party ungrateful and also used the n-word. Instead of ending the parties, the brothers allegedly scheduled another one a couple of months later. And for that combination of hatred, racism, stupidity and entitlement, I have no words. I am utterly disgusted.
So let this be a lesson: don’t lie, steal, cheat, act like Ke$ha, or waste your time creating detailed Power Point presentations about the guys you lured into your bed. Thank you.