We’ve All Been There: Sexiled

It’s been a long night. The only thing on your mind is throwing the 12 decorative pillows (that your mom insisted you buy) off your big comfy bed and burying yourself under that warm, fluffy blanket.

You fight to keep your eyes open as you take the elevator up to your room. As you round the corner and get closer to your room you grow more excited to kick off your shoes, peel those skinny jeans off your legs (you swear they weren’t this tight when you bought them…) and take a one way ticket to Snoozetown.

And then you see it. Scribbled on the dry erase board tacked to your door: come back later.

The writing is messy, but the message is loud and clear. Your roommate’s got someone in there and you are not welcome.

Angry, you stand there for a few moments taking it all in. It’s late on a weeknight. Everyone else is already asleep. And how long have they been in there?  Where the hell are you supposed to go? When can you come back?

You scan the hallway. Yup, everyone’s doors are closed and the hall is quiet. You are going to have to find somewhere else to pass the time. You take the elevator back down to the study room on your dorm’s main floor. You’re exhausted, but you decide you’ll do a bit more reading and try the room again in a half hour.

When you walk in you find another student in there reading on a couch.

“You too?” You ask. She nods.

You head towards one of the over-stuffed chairs but reconsider and move towards a table. The last thing you want is to get too comfortable and fall asleep down here. You unpack your textbook, grab a highlighter and start reading. But after getting through 3 pages and realizing you have no idea what you just read, you close the book and start chatting it up with your fellow Sexilee. You vent, you complain, you commiserate. Then you see a boy walk past in the hallway and, thinking that must be the man of the evening, take that as your cue to head back upstairs.

When you approach the door you notice the note is still on the dry erase board but you reason that your roommate must have forgotten to wipe it off. To be safe, you knock. You hear some giggling.

“Come back in five minutes!” Your roommate calls from inside.

“Come on! It’s late!” You call. You know you sound ridiculous, but you just want to go to sleep, damnit.

“Five minutes!” You’re tempted to throw open the door and break up the little party, but the fear of seeing some guy’s bare butt stops you. So you put your bag on the floor, pop a squat and wait it out.

Not five, but fifteen minutes later, the music stops and the door opens. Startled (it seems you have dozed off) you jump up. Your roommate laughs and shoos her guest towards the elevator. You gather your things and drag yourself towards your bed. Finally, you can get some sleep.

Well, after your roommate gives you the 20 minute rundown of her evening romp, that is.

Yeah, we’ve all been there.
It’s annoying, it’s infuriating…but it feels DAMN good when you can get sweet Sexile revenge.



    1. avj says:

      This is SO hilarious! It makes me feel better that I'm not the only one who get super annoyed despite trying to be cool with it!

    2. Christine says:

      My first college roommate was 24 (I was 16-going-on-17 when I began), and she didn't even has the decency to leave notes or wait for me to leave the room. I can't count the number of times I woke up to the sounds of grunts. Yuck yuck yuck.

    3. Bri says:

      This makes me sooo glad my college enforces visitation hours!!

    4. Tricia Hein says:

      While a lot of students at my school disagree with the single sex dorms, I feel like it prevents these situations, at least to some degree. At the very least, I know I can come back at midnight and know I have the right to kick the guy out.

    5. Burcu says:

      As an ecioatudnal consultant and college planner, I do not support or encourage my students to apply early decision. For those who need financial aid, it is a bad choice because they do not know how much money they might get until April. Even then, they can’t compare financial aid offers from other schools. The binding aspect of ED is something very few students understand, Most kids are not ready to make a college decision in December and why should they have to? I think many of us in the field of college planning believe that early decision benefits the schools more than anyone.

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