True Story: I Have Melanoma

January 28, 2011 9:00 am     Posted in Reality, spring break  Candy -- NYU g+ page


By Candy

23 is a young age for a lot of things.  It is a young age to be a mother, to be on your own, to lose a friend, or to have cancer.  Yet, all of these things and more happen to young people every day.

It was a cold day in November when I got the phone call from the dermatologist telling me my results were back and I needed to come into the office the same day.  As I put down the phone, I looked at my boyfriend and nervously laughed and said, “Well that can’t be good.”  Since I am a full time student, I had to go to class before I could even think about heading to a doctor.  I sat through the hour and fifteen minute class thinking that maybe I was being silly and everything was going to be fine.  Surely a girl who is 23 years old, outgoing, determined, and full of life could not have cancer.  It had to be something else.

The drive to the office took too long and I called my mom on the way to deter some thoughts.  She immediately went into full panic mode and I couldn’t understand why.  By the time I arrived at the doctor, she had called five times to find out what was wrong but they wouldn’t tell her because I am an adult.  I sat alone in the room and waited for the nurse practitioner.  She was the only that would see me that day because the doctor was too busy.  She sat down and said, “Katie, you have level four Melanoma and the next step is for you to go see a surgeon in St. Louis to have the tumor removed.”

It’s hard to explain what I was feeling at the moment I was processing everything she was saying.  I don’t really know if I was feeling anything but disbelief.  I’m not sure that I was even processing it.  I just shook my head like I was some kind of bobble head so she knew I was still listening.  The strangest thing, after looking back on it all, is the feeling that I just wanted to please her or that I couldn’t cry because I needed to be strong.  I asked her different questions about what the biopsy meant and she couldn’t tell me.  At this point the hardest thing was that she didn’t know the details or the main question everyone wanted to know:

Was I going to die?

As I waited for my mom in the room, I went numb.  I thought back to all the years I laid in tanning beds and knew it was bad but didn’t trust my instincts.  Most fake-bakers out there will know what feeling I’m talking about; that gnawing feeling that this is bad for you.  This is bad for you like any other bad habit, but you’re young and healthy and nothing could ever hurt you.  You’ve seen the little sign on the side of the tanning bed but you still step in with the certainty that those signs are just for legalities and don’t pertain to you.

I started to cry and was slightly embarrassed.  I was embarrassed because I didn’t even know what I was crying for.  I didn’t even know if this was serious or not.  I was just like any other person, and didn’t really know what Melanoma was or how deadly it can be.  But I had the “Big C” and so I cried.  I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be feeling.  I knew they had probably diagnosed a lot of people who had lived full lives with Melanoma, but I was different.  How is a 23 year old who just found she has cancer supposed to act?

Two weeks later, I had MOHS surgery to have the tumor removed and I had some lymph nodes removed as well.  When I woke up from the surgery, I was in a lot of pain and I needed a month’s worth of physical therapy to get my arm back to working right.  The next time I saw the surgeon, he was unsure whether they had found more cancer further up my arm.  It was all very confusing and I thought I would have to go on chemotherapy.  This is when it all became too real.  I started to wonder if I was going to be a statistic for Melanoma deaths rather than for Melanoma survivors.

After weeks of research, I found a Melanoma clinic in the area that examined my slides and they didn’t believe I still had Melanoma.  I wonder everyday who it is I should be listening to and how I can save myself.  After having all different kinds of scans, it is still unclear if I still have cancer and all I can really do is to check my skin and lymph nodes every three months with a specialist.  Since I am on a full-ride scholarship and can’t risk losing it by missing classes, I have left chemo out of the equation until someone can give me a definite answer.  Some people may think this is a risky choice but this has been a big financial burden for me, so the last thing I need to do is lose my scholarship and make it worse.

Melanoma is a very sneaky cancer because, like my mole, it does not always look like the typical Melanoma.  The only reason I was concerned about it was because it itched.  Melanoma diagnosis increase by 3.1 percent each year and it is being found more and more in young Caucasian females.  Melanoma is the most common form of skin cancer in young adults 25-29 years old, and the second most common form of cancer in adolescents and young adults 15-29 years old. The scariest facts on Melanoma are that 75 percent of skin cancer deaths are related to Melanoma and someone dies from Melanoma every 61 minutes.  This is obviously something that needs to be taken seriously because young adults are being diagnosed at an increasingly alarming rate.  Still, no one my age understands or believe that it could happen to them.  Young adults never believe they are invincible.  I am here to tell you, you are not. It can happen to you and it is completely preventable.

At this point, if you are a tanner, it is time to quit. Bronze skin is not worth it. Believe me, it took me a long time to get used to being pale, but now I love my natural, healthy color.

Right now, I’m just trying to live my life as normally as possible. I’m trying not to think about my disease or what it might mean for me down the road. I want to go to school and when summer comes, I want to spend it at the beach.  I don’t know which one but I am just going to hop in the car and start driving towards the coast.  After I get there and I lay out my towel, I’m going to slather on the sunscreen, open up a cold-one,  and be young again.

[A very special thanks to reader Kathleen for sharing her story with us. She and her friends are working tirelessly to fight against tanning beds and warn college students of the dangers associated with them. Honor her struggle and protect yourself.]

34 Comments on "True Story: I Have Melanoma"

  1. Christine says:
    Fri, 28th Jan 20119:41 am 

    Thank you for this article. Most of all, thank you for warning against tanning beds. A few months ago, I got the Costco magazine, which always has a section dedicated to a debate. One of them was about the use of tanning beds. The American Dematological Society (or something like that) said that tanning beds increased the risk of cancer, and several other groups (mostly the ones selling tanning beds) claimed that having darker skin outweighed any "minute" probability of cancer. I think about 60-70% of customers sided with the tanning bed people. I live in Arizona, where skin cancer rates are incredibly high, and I'd say about 90% of my friends still use tanning beds as well as go outside without sunscreen.

    I really wish everyone was more aware that skin cancer can happen at ANY age and that it can be extremely dangerous, just so they'd stop making such reckless decisions.

  2. Kayla says:
    Fri, 28th Jan 20119:45 am 

    Thank you for this article. I am always slabbing on sunscreen and bringing it with me, as my mom was diagnosed with melanoma when I was in middle school. Being in college, I'm surrounded by girls who feel like they NEED to be tan in order to wear dresses/shorts/etc or just tan in the winter (why?? it's not natural!!), and constantly go to tanning beds. People need to realize that skin cancer does not just happen to older people, or people with naturally paler skin.

  3. c1cormier says:
    Fri, 28th Jan 201111:29 am 

    This is an amazing story, thank you so much for sharing it! I wish you the best of luck and all of my friends and I are sending you lots of hugs and best wishes!

  4. Brittany says:
    Sat, 29th Jan 20118:59 pm 

    Thank u sooo much Katie! I love this article you know what difference in my life u have made! I still do think of the nice tan look I’ve had in the past years but like you said its not worth it and you mean so much to me to jsu overlook what’s happened and hapening still! TANNING shuld b prohibbited and illegal it is a slow killer and silent as well! I hope everybody that reads this makes the descion I made! Don’t chance it. Save the skin your in!

  5. Andi says:
    Sun, 30th Jan 20112:42 am 

    I wish you all the luck and will think of you. I was a single mom at 22 (am now 36)- it's been a very rough journey. Am now in college- this is very tough, too. I also have health problems- seizures & migraines.
    I tan now…but I only spray tan, and I don't do it to look "sexy and hot" in a hot dress or short shorts or for the guys. I'm pretty plain- I wear jeans & t-shirts. I'm just white as bleach & want a bit of color. But, unlike many yrs. ago, when they only had the tanning beds, I only use the spray tans now. I see the younger (yes, and older) girls in college use the beds- some use them almost every single day. And, they look so, so, so dark- it's winter and they look almost as if they're African Americans (that's not bad but they AREN'T!) It looks so fake. Again, thank you Kathleen, and I just wish more would listen to you….especially your age. Might I suggest you getting the word out to your age group through university newspapers, sororities, etc.? Not sure how you'd do this, but w/this site, I'm sure the girls could give you really good suggestions! I applaud your courage, girl! <3 :)

  6. Kathleen says:
    Sun, 30th Jan 201112:32 pm 

    I really appreciate everyone's comments and they mean so much to me. I have made it a personal mission to educate young adults like I wish I would have been educated. The resources to tan are everywhere. You can win tanning packages on the radio even. But the resources for learning the downside of tanning are few and far between. There is even a page on facebook called "I know tanning gives you skin cancer but I don't care." It makes me really sad to see so many people like that page because it is such a serious issue. I am definitely going to look into trying to get something into my school newpaper and hopefully more articles will be ran on this. I have already sent this off to others and hope they find value in it like college candy did. Everyone who read this may not have agreed with this or saw the value in it because they still don't think this will happen to them. I was told by some of the best melanoma doctors in the world that just tanning in a tanning bed once a month would increase your risk for melanoma by 75%. That's a serious increase. Also, they have done studies and found that they are seeing more and more young females with melanoma rather than young males and it is because of the tanning beds. If I hadn't been so lucky and by the grace of god found out that I had a melanoma, I would have eventually got really sick and died because once melanoma spreads, it grows little tumors in your major organs. It's serious stuff and I hope that this article will change some minds.

  7. SSS says:
    Sun, 30th Jan 20114:59 pm 

    Wow Kathleen, this was an amazing and honest article. Thanks so much for sharing, I know it must be hard. Wish you the best of luck with everything :)

  8. Katie says:
    Sun, 30th Jan 201111:27 pm 

    This post really resonated with me because I have a close relative whose melanoma has spread to her liver and is now in an experimental treatment because all other resources have been exhausted. She's a newlywed and graduated from college a couple years ago. It's a scary thing and when I see girls on my campus who are obviously fake tanning I wish they would hear more stories like yours. Keep on fighting!

  9. jbcbg says:
    Mon, 31st Jan 20117:15 pm 

    i'm not gonna lie, i don't have much sympathy for this girl.

    yes, she got cancer and yes, that's awful and tragic and all the other synonyms for "bad" in the world… but it's her own fault. she tanned – a lot, it seems like – and even though she knew it was bad for her, she continued to do it. if she had lung cancer as a result of her smoking, i wouldn't think that many people would feel bad for her. it's her own fault! i'm pale, but i'm not stupid. i'm not going to lie in cancer beds just so other people think i'm pretty (anyway, half the time, people who tan in tanning beds end up looking ridiculous)

    still, i respect her for owning up to what she did and for working to prevent other girls from making the same decision (not mistakes, because they were deliberate) that she did. good for her. i hope she remains cancer-free for as long as she lives.

  10. trudye says:
    Mon, 31st Jan 20118:47 pm 

    I too have a type of skin cancer, basal cell at this point, but have had numerous MOHS procedures done. My heart goes out to you sweetie, I shall keep you in my prayers and send you hugs and more hugs. You are doing the only thing anyone can do, your best, and live each day well. Good luck.

  11. trudye says:
    Mon, 31st Jan 20118:51 pm 

    Your comment is a little too harsh, you don't need to have sympathy here, but empathy would be nice. And have a positive comment goes a very long way……..yours unfortunately not so much. Too bad, I feel very sorry for you jbcbg, you've a lot to learn.

  12. trudye says:
    Mon, 31st Jan 20118:52 pm 

    You sound like an awesome young woman, just keep doing what you are doing, we are praying for you and shall keep you in our prayers always.

  13. Kathleen says:
    Tue, 1st Feb 201112:28 pm 

    I'm sorry that you feel this way. I'm glad that you arent that "stupid" to tan in a tanning bed but I raised in a family who did and all my friends did. I, like many others, didn't know what the real reprucussions of tanning in a tanning bed would do and I honeslty never believed I could get cancer. This is why I share my story is to save young women like me. I don't appreciate your sarcasm and you obviously don't respect what I'm trying to do. And I feel bad for anyone who has cancer….no one deserves it no matter what they did in life.

  14. Andrea says:
    Tue, 1st Feb 20119:35 pm 

    I truly do hope that you never have a situation in your life where this happens to someone dear to you: Katie did mention she used the tanning beds which can increase your chance of getting melanoma by 75%. That however is NOT the only way you can end up with it. Simple sunburn as a child, any sun exposure. Who know's if the decision she made to use a tanner is what truly caused it. The fact is she is using something that has happened to her in her life to help educate many others that are not aware of the danger Tanning beds can cause. I would think that a comment like your's could have been kept to yourself; I do believe she is going through enough.

  15. intoyourblueeyes says:
    Wed, 2nd Feb 20111:14 am 

    oh dear,
    I understand your pain, my father had cancer in his young age hand he left me in this word when I was 5…
    I actually don't know what is the death is at that time, I actually don't know that he will not come back ever…
    But that was different time…
    NOW TECHNOLOGY IS ON ITS EDGE, DON'T WORRY, YOU WILL BE CURED….
    There are hundreds of cases in this very world, where people comeback from cancer, you will also comeback….
    Believe in your self, be happy as much as you can, enjoy the life like a child, your inner resistive power will help you to get cured….
    My wishes are with you…

    How To Make a Guy Fall In Love With You

  16. Rob says:
    Wed, 2nd Feb 20117:18 am 

    I can't believe that, after that experience, you're heading back to the beach to lie in the sun — sunscreen or not. I'm sorry, but that's just crazy. Ask your Doctor if s/he thinks it's a good idea.

  17. Kathleen says:
    Thu, 3rd Feb 20119:35 am 

    My doctor told me I could go in the sun and to not be a hermit…some vitamin D is good for you but I shouldn't spend more than a couple hours in the sun.

  18. joblo says:
    Tue, 22nd Feb 20111:52 pm 

    What makes you think anyone else will listen and change their ways? As the story says, "…no one my age understands or believe[s] that it could happen to them."
    FYI from Google: "Inside almost every bottle of sunscreen is a chemical that some doctors say it's more dangerous than the sun itself. …"

  19. Kathleen says:
    Thu, 24th Feb 20119:44 am 

    So your recommendation here is what??? To not use sunscreen….you could make that argument with anything you put on your skin. How many cases of cancer have been proved by someone using sunscreen? When you find the answer to that please let me know. Until then, I will share my story and HOPE that it will change at least one mind.

  20. mandapick says:
    Sun, 27th Feb 20113:30 am 

    Hi Katie! I have melanoma too. I was just diagnosed this past December. Thankfully, I was only a level 2, but the size and location of my tumor prevented me from having a MOHS procedure. Instead, I have a skin graft and a ping pong ball sized hole in my left calf. It has changed my life forever. I have found a really great web site that deals with all kinds of cancers, but particularly focuses on those of us who are too old fro childhood cancers, and too young to be considered a typical cancer survivor. It's http://www.stupidcancer.com. Like you, I hope that one day people realize that even though there isn't a "Race for the Melanoma Cure" it is a SERIOUS cancer and people need to not only be aware, but take care to protect themselves. Good luck on your journey as a survivor!

  21. Casey says:
    Mon, 7th Mar 201110:04 pm 

    Because of this article, I got a mole that was itching biopsied. Luckily, it turned out to be benign, but I thought you should know the effect your article had! Hopefully more girls also take this seriously.

    Also, just a note, melanoma can develop without any relation to tanning. I didn't know that (my mole was in a spot that's never seen the sun!), so I just hope people take into account that even if you don't tan or anything, it's still possible to get it.

  22. Kathleen says:
    Fri, 11th Mar 201110:54 am 

    I'm so glad to hear you did so casey! Even though it was benign now…it could have been something much more serious down the road and now you don't have to worry about it! Mine had been itching for a long time and I let it go too long. You did the right thing and I'm very proud! :)

  23. Ceri says:
    Mon, 9th May 20118:13 pm 

    Hey there, you story is truly a amazing one. I have just been told that a mole I had removed on my back a few weeks ago has signs of melanoma… I’m now waiting for a skin specialist appointment to see if it has spread! I’m so so scared!!x

  24. Lauren says:
    Mon, 17th Oct 201111:47 am 

    I just found your article and it was like reading my own story. I am 22 years old and last October as a 21 year old college junior I found out I had stage 1 melanoma. Even though mine was in the earlier stages than yours and doctors were confident that one surgery would be all it took, I still felt all of the same things that you did. That I was to young for this and what was even more shocking was that I am not even a “tanner” I live most of my life in a shade of pale. I too still go to the beach and wear plenty of sunscreen and stay under an umbrella, you can’t let it get in the way of living! Thank you for your article, it is nice to read someone’s story who is actually the same age as I am.

  25. Georgia says:
    Mon, 2nd Jul 201212:28 pm 

    Hello hun, Thank you for sharing this. I know alot of time has passed since you wrote this article but i found out just 3 days ago that I have Melanoma, I am 22 and so so scared, I cant stop crying and I keep asking myself am i going to die? How are you now Kathleen?

  26. Matthew says:
    Tue, 31st Jul 20124:36 am 

    Hello! I'm 19 years old and last year i was diagnosed with stage 3 melanoma. I have over 55 moles on my body (a total of 35 just on my arms). I know that feeling driving to the doctors after they tell you to come in. It felt like hours, waiting in the for the doctor to tell the news. And once I i found out that I had stage 3 melanoma cancer, my heart just dropped. I couldn't believe it because I ALWAYS protected my skin. Now I have to go to radiation therapy. Even if its pretty bad, I try to keep my hopes up! To me, being happy every second of my life is the best cure for this EXTREMELY serious cancer!

  27. chelsea says:
    Fri, 24th Aug 20121:06 pm 

    just found out I had melanoma in my arm after they removed what was just thought of to be an abnormal compound mole. i'm just a 23-year old girl too, just like you, so it was helpful to read your story. Thankfully they think they removed it all the first time and I'm just going in again to get a more skin around the area removed to be sure. hoping for the best!

  28. Christopher says:
    Wed, 8th May 20132:14 am 

    Matthew – Hi, I like you have MANY moles. I read your paragraph – wondering how you are doing? As I was just diagnosed with 1 stage 1 melanoma — but, lots more biopsy / excisions to come! Anyone have a great Doctor they are interested in sharing – I was going to Johns Hopkins – where they asked "why are you here?" – and surprised to get the results that I did indeed have melanoma (originally diagnosed as just severe atypia… I'm switching gears now and going to Washington Hospital Center in DC to their Melanoma Clinic – but, I am always interested in hearing about new treatments and Doctors – as I believe this is a life-long battle. Thanks and best to all of you!

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