We’ve All Been There: Frozen
It’s cold outside. Like, chill-you-to-the-bones cold. So cold, not even your North Face jacket and Uggs can save you. The moment you step outside to go that class-you-really-wish-you-could-skip-but-the-TA-is-a-jerk-who-will-dock-your-grade-if-you-miss-even-one, the air stings your face and makes your eyes water. And as you walk/run to what is obviously the furthest building on campus, looking at the ground to avoid snowflakes flying in your eyes, you curse yourself for not opting for a school in a warmer climate. Like on the sun.
And it’s not much better when you get back home. Thanks to your 100-year-old college house with walls so thin you wonder if they’re made out of paper, it’s cold inside, too. No matter what you do – drink hot cocoa, take a hot shower, have some steamy sexy time – you can’t shake the chill. So you layer on the warmest sweatshirt you’ve got, double up on the socks, put on your Snuggie and climb under your down comforter.
You’ve got things to do to, but your hands are too cold to grip a highlighter. And your bed is too cozy to get out of it to do the laundry. And no matter how hot that hot yoga class is, there’s no way in hell you’re going back into the frozen tundra to get to there.
So you stay in bed, blaming your lack of activity on the weather.
That is, until your BFF calls and reminds you that it’s $1 beer night/so-and-so’s birthday/a day that ends in “Y,” meaning there’s something going on and you just have to be there.
You look down at the mound of clothing and blankets you’re huddled under, soaking up all that toastiness. Do you really want to go outside? You think on it for a second.
“I guess I won’t be so cold if I drink a little beforehand,” you tell yourself. “And I’ll only be outside for, like, 5 minutes. And I’ll wear my beer coat!”
Before you’ve even hung up the phone, you’ve kicked off the covers, picked out the perfect outfit (which exposes far more skin than it covers) and poured yourself a shower cocktail.
Two hours and countless pre-drinks later, you’re standing outside, sans coat, waiting to get into the party. You’re shivering, you’re nose is bright red and running, and it’s going to be at least another 20 minutes until you’re inside.
But you don’t care. After all, it’s not that cold out.
Yes ma’am, we’ve all been there (at least those of us who go to school in the North) and it’s never too cold to party.