Yesterday my world was turned upside down, literally. I got way more texts than I’ll admit from my superstitious friends who like me, rely on their morning coffee and horoscope. (No matter how irrelevant they can be.)

The Minnesota Planetarium Society announced the formation of a new, unpronounceable astrological sign: Ophiuchus. Which not only mean there was a new sign, but also that everyone else’s signs shifted around. Having been born an Aries on the cusp, I always related to the confident, energetic and often territorial sign. (Although I prefer sassy.) But whenever my beloved Aries reading was a little off, I could always skip down to Taurus and trade up for a better prediction. With this new change, what will I do? I’ve lost my “cusp” status and as an only child, I can assure you that I don’t deal well with change.

Apparently this new zodiac symbol isn’t new at all, but a centuries-old sign linked to the serpent, which does not sit well with this wanna-be Gryffindor. Judging from my Facebook news feed, I’m not the only one who isn’t a fan of the change. So will this “new” sign stick around very long or will it be the Pluto debacle of 2011? It’s already gained black-sheep status in my mind, and I’m deciding to extend the “if i can’t pronounce it” rule from my food to my newspaper. I can’t take anything seriously that I can’t even say, so I’m choosing to ignore it.

For all of you out there who are affected, maybe this an excuse to overhaul your habits and test out life through a new set of traits. Or maybe it’s just an awesome opportunity to “like” all your friend’s statuses every time you see  “No longer a Libra, I don’t even know who I am anymore“.

On the upside, now all you under-21ers can ace the bouncer favorite “what’s your sign” test, because really, who knows anymore?

I love skinny jeans just as much as the next person.

They are great to tuck into boots.
Great with long tunics.
Great for so many things in my ‘drobe.

But when I feel anything but? Skinny jeans… not such a fan.

Not to mention that a girl can only have so many pairs of skinny jeans but still wants an excuse to expand her denim wardrobe. Which presents a big challenge when practically everywhere you turn are more skinny jeans that seem to be even skinnier than the last. But now, dear friends, it looks like the antidote of skinny jeans is on the horizon.

The Wide Leg Trouser Jean.

Don’t be intimidated by it’s mountains of fabric. These jeans can actually be both concealing (as in hiding that muffin top that your skinny jeans just won’t) and flattering. Most are higher waisted and skim your thighs. Paired with a platform or high heel, these give your legs an nice, elongated look. Read More »

So somewhere out there in CrazyTown USA, some woman got cheated on by another one of her no-good boyfriends. But instead of confronting her boyfriend about his inability to stop himself from sticking it in other women or possibly seeking out therapy to find out why she constantly found herself dating lowlife scumbags, she came up with another idea…

A male chastity belt! (Or a penis purse for those who are more into fashion.)

Because nothing says “I’m in a healthy, fully-functioning, adult relationship” like having to lock up your favorite boy’s penis each day before he leaves for the day.

It’s January, so you know what that means in Hollywood – it’s awards season! Kicking off the big ones is the Golden Globes, airing THIS Sunday, Jan. 16, and I for one cannot WAIT!

The Golden Globes merge television and movie awards and are sure to bring out some truly fabulous celebs. It’s (almost) goes without saying that this is the best awards show out there.  But we all know what’s most important (besides the fashion) and that’s not who’s presenting: it’s who will be taking home the awards. Which movie will be crowned Best Drama or Best Comedy? Which actress impressed everyone the most? Who will make the drunkest acceptance speech?

So, with no further ado, here are my predictions on who will most likely win and who SHOULD win the biggest categories of the night:

Read More »

My first boyfriend was uncircumcised. At the young, inexperienced age of fourteen, I realized this only because one day while chilling on the futon in the den having a post BJ-sesh chat, he informed me that some of the girls he had been with (because as a sixteen-year-old senior, he was far more sexually experienced than my freshman self) were initially freaked out by the au natural state of his Scottish-born ween. Huh, I remember thinking. He’s not circumcised. So THAT’s what that looks like.

It’s not like I was totally ignorant. I had been reading Seventeen and YM since I was nine. I knew all about hymens and G-spots and that you couldn’t get pregnant from a boy shooting his load into the open waters of a hot tub, so I certainly knew that some gents had foreskins and some did not; I just wasn’t really sure what that meant, anatomically.

I didn’t actually fully experience the difference between the two until about ten months later when my boyfriend and I were “on a break” and I hooked up with another boy, birthed in the good old U.S. of A. and fully shorn to prove it. As we sweatily made out on the couch, I jammed my hand in to his shorts, confidently grabbed a hold of his manparts, and…proceeded to give him the rawest handjob in the history of the earth. Read More »

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Smooth move, Sitch.

It seems like a lot happened on last night’s Jersey Shore. There was fighting, t-shirt time, Karma, family dinner, work, JWOWW’s cleavage, a Sam/Ron fight and smushing. And to top it all off, there were emotional flashbacks to Miami. Holy hell, I need a vodka Red Bull just to keep up.

While it was hard to follow at times (much like Vinny at Karma), it was the perfect opportunity for us all to see how each cast member will be spending their time in Seaside Heights this season. So let’s take a look, shall we?

Vinny:
What Vinny should be doing is sending Snooki daily thank-you notes for telling America how big his Italian sausage is. What he will be doing is taking on The Situation’s role as Smush-master and stuffing anything with two legs and a taco in the “guest room” of Camp Guido. Oh, and while the girls are putting their clothes back on and waiting for their cabs, he’ll go all MacGyver/Sandlot and help Snooki and Blast-in-a-Glass get their ball back.

The Situation:
After getting robbed by Vinny and rejected by every girl in Seaside despite taking his shirt off every chance he gets, Sitch will eventually give in, put down the peanut butter and jelly sandwich and hook up with Deena. In her cowboy hat. Then he’ll cook a lot of meat on Sundays and bagel sandwiches every other day of the week. Obvi, this is all in addition to GTL. Read More »

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. Sometimes with mean words. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like prepubescent fashion!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

From basically the time I was in kindergarten, I was ingrained with the understanding that this is how the system works: you go to school, you get good grades, you go to college, you get good grades, and then one day you get a job… so your kids can do it all over again. Aside from the incredible level of depressing involved in that, it was always my inherent understanding that this was the way things would work. Then I got into college and realized that job part wasn’t exactly a guarantee with a degree. Even more disconcertingly, it turns out that sometimes, for some lucky people, it works the other way around – getting offered a job before they’ve even finished college. The question is, is it a good idea to skip ahead a step.

Read More »

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I love food.  LOVE. Like a fat kid loves cake. Except I’m the fat kid… and cake is everything edible. I have to have it wherever I go, frequently, and at my fingertips in times of need (which tends to be more often than I’d prefer).

I can especially appreciate food in a lunch box.  Hey, I’m just saying that PB&J is nothing short of genius. It’s probably one of the only foods that can withstand the wrath of school bus floors and humid lockers.

Anyway, since I got myself a big girl job, I had to start packing bag lunches so I don’t blow all my money buying Jimmy Johns every time I go to the office. All that lunch packing took me back to the days when my mom used to pack me lunches in third grade high school.  She would fill up that brown paper bag with such wonderous things.

Suddenly, in my blissful daydream of food – I was bombarded with the greatness that was my lunch hour when I was ten years old.  The nostalgic memories of sitting down with my three-foot-girlfriends came flooding to me like a rainbow of unlimited taste-bud opportunity and goodness.  I want it all back. I want the sugar, I want the innocence, I want my paper brown bag for work filled with all of this: Read More »