Despite having 5 top-ten hits in one year, people constantly hate on pop singer Ke$ha. I hear it all the time: “Ke$ha is awful,” “She’s so gross!” and of course, “What is wrong with that slutty girl?”
While I can understand why some people don’t stand behind her gold tooth, nose ring, obsession with body paint, catchy techno pop beats, and copious amounts of glitter references in her songs, I can’t understand how people (especially college girls) don’t want to dance along with her.
I mean, Ke$ha is the ultimate college girl!
Think about it. Her songs are no different than average college life on a Saturday night, yet people are constantly “offended” or “shocked” by what she sings about. What, you can’t handle a little truth? A look in the mirror? Look past the nappy hair, the record deal, and the dollar sign in her name and Ke$ha is just like you and I.
And if you don’t see that, I’ll break it all down for ya…Ke$ha style.
In her third single, “Take It Off,” Ke$ha sings:
“There’s a place downtown, where the freaks all come around/ It’s a hole in the wall/ It’s a dirty free for all.” (Editor’s Note: Is it stuck in your head yet??)
Yeah, and that place is probably a beer soaked fraternity basement or an off-campus party house that has no toilet paper in a bathroom that doesn’t lock. And those freaks are your classmates intoxicated on jungle juice and Natty light, dressed up in Christmas sweaters, Halloween costumes, togas, spandex, and God knows what else depending on the occasion or party theme.
“And now we lookin’ like pimps in my gold Trans-Am / Got a water bottle full of whiskey in my handbag / Got my drunk text on/ I’ll regret it in the morning.”
So maybe no one you know has a Trans-Am, but you definitely know some girl (or you are that girl) with a Dasani bottle full of vodka/tequila/rum/whiskey (or some really disgusting combo of the 4). If you aren’t the girl with the bottle, you are defintely one of the many girls drinking out of said bottle (remember how you got Mono your freshman year?) until you get your own Solo cup of booze in your hand. Oh, and don’t even act like you’ve never drunk texted or drunk dialed your ex-boyfriend, his mom (I know someone who did this — twice), your high school frenemies, and pretty much every other person you’ve ever met. If it happens to Ke$ha, it’s probably happened to you.
But wait, there’s more!
When Ke$ha first came out with her song “Tik Tok,” I constantly heard people say “This girl is crazy.” Pssh … this song is just your average Saturday morning (morning meaning sometime after 1pm considering you were up till 3am the night before) pre-game anthem. Not only does she tell you what it’s like to wake up the next morning (like P-Diddy, of course), but she tells you what to expect for that night (“boys blowing up our phones” and “pulling up to parties, trying to get a little bit tipsy”). Consider Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok” to be an education in the ways of the college party world:
“And now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got / But we kick ‘em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger/ I’m talking about everybody getting crunk, crunk/ Boys tryin’ to touch my junk, junk/ Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk”
While it’s doubtful that most girls are looking for a Mick Jagger type to hook up with, Ke$ha knows what’s up when it’s time to get rid of those guys that don’t stand a chance but won’t leave you alone. You know, the ones that are too drunk, too gross (probably wearing oversized t-shirts), and grinding on you like you’re a stripper pole. But you don’t let that stop you. Nothing will keep you from getting your party on.
Ok, well … maybe a few things will stop you from getting your party on. Like your best friend puking on the dance floor, your ex-boyfriend chasing you around trying to talk to you, and of course, campus safety or the police showing up. “We go until they kick us out or the police shut us down.” So true, girl … so true.
And last but not least, it’s hard to ignore Ke$ha’s latest song “We R Who We R,” the ultimate college girl dance anthem:
“Tonight we’re going hard/ Just like the world is ours/ We’re tearin’ it apart/ You know we’re superstars!/ We are who we are/ We’re dancing like we’re dumb/ Our bodies go numb / We’ll be forever young!”
Nothing is better than dancing alone, dancing with your best friends, dancing with your boyfriend, and being all dressed up (possibly with glitter on your eyes) and feeling like nothing else matters except having fun. Even though we might not all have “Jesus on our necklace” like Ke$ha does, we are no different when we’re dancing on table tops, throwing beer pong balls across the room, and celebrating yet another Friday night — it’s just who we are!
Whether you think Ke$ha needs a bath or not, it doesn’t matter. These songs are your weekend soundtrack, your dance floor anthems. Ke$ha’s wardrobe is what you wear on your birthday to the club. Her glitter, ripped up stockings, and attitude are you and your best friends at a Girl Talk concert on a Friday night. She is you with your head in the toilet after too many jello shots. Ke$ha is that girl toilet papering her ex-boyfriend’s car while drunk texting his best friend.
Even though Ke$ha may be a glittery gimmick and even though she never even went to college, I can’t help but wish she was the girl next door in my dorm. Oh wait, she was.