This Post-Grad Life: Chivalry Does Exist After College

OK, contrary to popular belief from my last posts, post-grad college life is pretty amazing sometimes.  That’s why I’m going to dedicate this post to something positive. Because yes, also contrary to popular belief, post-grad life is not a purgatory (I have a tendency to be a little melodramatic from time to time).

Back during my college days (that seem so long ago) going on dates seemed like a non-existent activity.  Go ahead and rat on me if you’ve been on ten dates already and you haven’t even been through an entire semester.  If that’s the case, I now understand why I don’t know you.

Anywho, I rarely went on any dates.  I met a lot of guys, but for some reason (probably somewhere along the lines of everyone leading a lifestyle two leaps away from a homeless person) dates were a seldom activity.  Therefore, while meeting guys was not difficult in college, dating them was.

Nowadays as a post-grad, meeting guys is a little more difficult to do outside of a strenuous work schedule.  However,  actual dating becomes a little more natural.  As opposed to college when I was surrounded by lax tees and Natty-Ice-grasping-frat-dudes 24/7 who couldn’t afford to buy me a McGriddle, the guys out here are more like, well, men.

During college, I was convinced chivalry did not exist anymore.  I mean, please; dudes wouldn’t even pump beer into my Solo cup for me.  Dudes wouldn’t hold the door for me at Chipotle.  Dudes wouldn’t sacrifice a treadmill during a busy afternoon in the workout room for me.  Dudes wouldn’t offer up the last burrito in the line at the caf for me.  I felt like a dude wouldn’t even go the extra mile to dedicate a fart to me (not that I’d want anything to do with that).

I figured their lack o’ chivalry had something to do with the fact that they were all twenty going on eight-years-old and they barely had enough money to support their Red Dog addiction.  So, I let it pass and drank a lot of booze, smooched a lot of cuties, and played the field the best I knew how – like a single girl without apologies.

But I have news for you, College Candies!  Good news!  By no means have I taken the place of the upcoming Bachelorette, but let me tell you this: I have discovered a miracle within a fugly dating world that existed during my life as a careless college connoisseur.

And here it is:

That chivalry we were all digging for as college students? It’s there. I’ve found it as a post-grad and it’s alive and well.  I’m not sure if I should blame myself for not discovering that chivalry existed until now, or if I should blame all the men out there for lacking the know-how and desire to step up, but either way, I’m happy someone has taken the plate.

Since graduation, I’ve been dating more than normal and really enjoying myself.  This “dating lifestyle” I’d been dreading as an undergrad has been a pleasant surprise.  I’ve always feared the dating world because I’ve always imagined awkward conversations about the wind, nightmare dates with haywire conversations about previous girlfriends, or being unable to fit the lettuce piece into my mouth without unhinging my jaw in front of him…

But that hasn’t been the case, at all.

I’ve been treated to a few great dinners, doors have been opened for me, follow-up dates have been suggested, sweet gifts have been received.  Now, I don’t want to make this sound like I am the sh*t because I’ve been on a few not-so-great dates too, but I’ve had just enough sweet date moments to flip my negative outlook into a positive one.

And while I have had some issues with spontaneous sobfests, my most recent dating experiences have not ended in tears. They ended in a full stomach, a full wallet, and a fulfilled, happy mind.  My date treated me wonderfully, bought the entire dinner, asked questions, and walked me to my door.  It was old-fashioned, fantastic and just what I always wanted in a date.

Let it be known: somewhere out there as a post-grad, chivalry does exist!  Compared to a whirlwind life in college, where dating is muffled, chivalry is questionable and second dates are usually spent rolling around on a futon, post-grad life will give you hope.  Post-grad life will prove to you that men want to be chivalrous and they pride themselves on it.  Post-grad life will show us that boys really do want to find their manhood. Not that they never did during college — but they would probably rather try Four Loko and forget about the chick they made out with.  Although please keep note: I have not turned thirty.  I’ve turned twenty-three.  Guys are still out there who like to bump and grind against your leg and douche out with Mikes Hard Lemonade after a trip to LoserTown.

But on another positive note, to all of those struggling post-grad guys out there: props to you (if you’re doing the dating right with the some classic chivalry).  Chicks are noticing and it’s paying off.



    1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Brittany Chaffee, Lisa Kelly. Lisa Kelly said: This Post-Grad Life: Chivalry Does Exist After College: OK, contrary to popular belief from my last posts, post-… […]

    2. Soon-to-be-graduated says:

      Good to hear it gets better in the real world! But where do you meet these knights in shining armor???

      1. Sarah says:

        I definitely met mine at a bar. I'm still in school but he's quite possibly the sweetest most chivalrous guy I've ever met. Opens doors, pulls chairs, the whole bit. Its great.

    3. Allie says:

      Well thank goodness!

    4. […] (The Frisky) Here’s one thing to look forward to post-college: chivalry in the dating scene. (College Candy) … More […]

    5. Tricia Hein says:

      It sorta makes sense. Both girls and guys go into college expecting to gain a lot of experience. By the time they graduate and have jobs, getting married and/or having a family become real goals, something to acheive within the next few years. Basically, after college we all grow up a little bit. Also, during college guys know that there are plenty of girls on their campus who are willing to accept drunken hook-ups and a lack of chivalry. Post-graduation, girls raise their standards, and I think guys feel like they have to compete with every other guy who is also stepping up their game.

    6. Abby says:

      Meet post-grads! I am an undergrad about the graduate and with a very chivalrous man. It's fabulous.:) He buys dinner, brings me flowers, opens doors and is a perfect gentleman. Good luck ladies!

    7. […] The continuing debate surrounding chivalry: does it still exist? Or perhaps more pressingly, does it still exist after college? – College Candy […]

    8. michelle says:

      I CANT WAIT.

    9. Masterson says:

      Wow, just wow. "Guys have no chivalry in college", yet "I smooched the cuties and lived like an unapologetic single girl in college!" Did you spot the contradiction? You blamed guys for their lack of chivalry, but would you accept them for blaming you for your lack of "virtue"? If you wanted to have fun in college, then say so. However, saying that was BECAUSE of how the college guys acted—that is bullshit, and you know it.

      Furthermore, a guy who pays for the full date is an idiot. Bad return for the investment. Over time, the guy will end up broke, just to provide free dinners to girls he barely knows. Only "nice guys" pull that shit, and they never get laid. (At least, not without providing a lot of free dinners and gifts!) Chivalry only works in the movies and romance novels. At least meet the guy halfway. Split the dinner tab, for starters.

      And see, this is the point of friction that pisses guys off. Women only want equality up to a certain point, but then after that, they want free dinners and gifts, and forgiveness for bursting into tears whenever they feel like it. It is either chivalry, or equality. You cannot have both.

      1. Sarah says:

        I agree with the first part of your statement, however guys that buy dinners are not idiots. And if the guy is smart, he will not end up broke and yes, he does get laid. Furthermore, there have been times where I have offered to split the tab with certain guys, including the one I'm seeing now and they have flat out refused. Depending on how the man is raised, he prides himself in treating a lady as such and will not have her pay for anything because he feels that it makes him look bad/ungentlemanly. On top of all that, yes you can have equality and chivalry; chivalry is really nothing more than common decency and respect. Just because a man opens the door for a woman or pays for her meal or gives her gifts, it does not mean that she is unequal; she CAN open her doors, she CAN pay for her meals and she can buy her own things. In my opinion, it just shows that she is cared for and respected. She can still do sweet things for him…

      2. Laura says:

        Your last lay gave you herpes, didn't she?

      3. Jill says:

        Aww, you provided the free dinners and still didn't get laid, didn't you. Lame-o. Chivalry does exist (obviously not in you though) it exists in decent guys who don't think they are doing anything special in particular, just treating a woman respectfully cause hey, she agreed to go out with him. It's not like you are doing a girl a favour when you ask her out.

    10. ken says:

      ^ thanks for clearing that up and backing the dudes up. It is so true welcome to the real world

    11. […] that on college campuses chivalry has a different definition than it did in the way back when, and a different definition than the one it has in the real world today, but I still think that underneath it all there should be a few unifying factors amongst the […]

    12. […] Experience this post-grad chivalry first hand. Dating doesn’t exactly exist in college. It’s more hook ups and breakups. […]

    13. […] imagined sipping wine that didn’t come in a box, having constant sophisticated chats about work, going on dreamy dates with prospective love interests, buying furniture and taking showers daily.  That was my theory.  I had it no other way.  I was […]

    14. AWR says:

      Expecting guys to let you have the last burrito at the cafe? Sounds like you're an entitled princess who wants to get spoiled. If I'm hungry at the bar and I'm in line for the last burrito, that baby is mine.

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