Sexy Time: Talking Sex with Sue

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As a lady whose had a curiosity about sex education since childhood, I think it’s safe to say that I lost my sh*t when I found out that sex expert Sue Johanson, of Talk Sex with Sue fame, was stopping at my school as part of her speaking tour.

As I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, I used to spend nights watching Talk Sex (which was called The Sunday Night Sex Show here in Canada) on the TV in my room with the headphones plugged in. I learned so much from watching this awesome old lady talk frankly and honestly about sex that I often found myself correcting my health teachers on the intricacies of sex ed.

For those of you who don’t know much about her, I highly recommend visiting her site or YouTubing some of her videos. From the “parental advisory” page on her website:

It is our belief that all human beings have a right to honest answers about their reproductive systems, the same way that they have access to information about respiratory systems or any anatomical function. As far as we’re concerned, the more information that one has, the better one is equipped to protect oneself from physical and emotional harm.

She is obviously a woman who has my heart.

During her stop at Sheridan, she covered a variety of topics, focusing mostly on the basic ins-and-outs of sex education — the things they didn’t teach us in school. And here are three things I took away from my evening with Sue:

Nice girls DO do that.
According to Sue, five minutes after a baby boy is born, he discovers he has a penis. Five minutes later, he finds out it feels good to touch it. Little girls, on the other hand, don’t have the advantage of being able to see their genitals just by looking down, and for many young women, the first time they explore their vulvas is during their first attempt at using a tampon.

We’re told our genitals are gross; from being told that “nice girls don’t do that” to seeing commercials about feminine hygiene products, it’s not the easiest thing for girls to love their bodies. After all, how many of us got the chance to see a full-frontal picture of female genitalia in sex-ed? Or learned about female orgasms? Many of us aren’t even taught the language to use when describing our own genitals (pro tip: the outside is called the “vulva,” the vagina is only the “tunnel.”) It’s all very mysterious, but that doesn’t mean female masturbation or exploration doesn’t (or shouldn’t) happen — just take a look at the popularity of sex toys.

Anal sex is scary.
During the question and answer period, there were a lot of questions about “bum sex,” as Sue called it, and according to the expert, it’s some seriously risky behavior. During her days as a sex educator, Sue got a visit from a girl who was having a bit of a problem — some “weird bumps on her bum hole.” If that’s not bad enough, Sue went on to describe those “weird bumps” as a cauliflower-like growth of genital warts that were so bad, they had to be surgically removed.

Moral of the story: don’t even think about having unprotected anal sex. Yikes.

Everyone should know how to put a condom on with their mouth.
The trick, Sue explained, was taught to her by prostitutes on the streets of Toronto as a way of sneakily putting a condom on their customer without him knowing. While it might not be a trick one needs to know for the same reasons, it’s still a good trick to have up your sleeve. Sadly, she didn’t want us taking pictures or videos of her demonstration on Tuesday, BUT, thank God for YouTube. You’re welcome.

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