
It was a Valentine’s Miracle! Those of you who watched The Bachelor last night know what I’m talking about: Crazy Eyes (or shall we call her Veiny Boobs) Michelle is G-O-N-E! And as if that wasn’t enough, I’ve gotta say, these remaining girls are pretty freakin’ awesome. Maybe it was the episode’s lack of X-Treme dates, the swell in my heart when Brad “broke the rules” for Emily, the way Shawntel conversed with those natives, or maybe it was just the (empty) bottle of champagne and (almost empty) giant bag of pink M&Ms sitting in my lap, but guys- I’m seriously excited to see what happens from here on out!
Next week brings Brad home to meet each of the remaining girls’ families. It’s always an intense episode, and of the four finalists there’s always one absolute train wreck of a hometown visit. Whether it’s an unconventional family situation, over-sharing parents, awkward siblings, or odd interior décor, something’s bound to set Brad in a tailspin. (Could this mean an emergency fly-in session from our favorite therapist, Jamie!?) Before we count anyone out, let’s look at who we’ve got left to be the next Mrs. Brad Womack:
Shawntel
Hands down, she’s the most genuine, unencumbered, emotionally secure girl this season. Plus, she’s just so nice. I almost think she’s too good for Brad. Is that wrong to say? Really, I hope she gets denied a rose and is forced back into normal society where she can meet a guy on the level as she.
That being said, from what we can tell, her hometown visit might be a little dicey. It’s understandable that she’d take Brad to her family’s funeral parlor; it is part of her life, after all. But it looks like they hang out there for a while and she actually questions him on his burial preferences. Hmmm… Maybe not the best move there, babe. We can only hope her parents break the funeral director stereotype and are just as warm and friendly as their daughter.
After all is said and done, do I think she’ll get a rose? I’m at a 70% yes.
Chantal
Last night’s mini-breakdown was a little more emotionally revealing than we’re used to when it comes to Chantal. Typically the one to play it cool, girlfriend crumbled under the pressure of seeing Ashley H. receive the group date rose. Could a trip home provide a 911 confidence boost, or will it only cause her to become that much more invested in her uncertain relationship with Brad?
Word on the street is that Chantal’s dad is an ex-Seattle Seahawk, so if Brad knows his football trivia, he might be impressed. If nothing else, it’s a conversation point. While I’d bet serious money Chantal will be receiving a rose, I’d still be interested to see how Brad responds to her (inevitable and repeated) love confessions. This week he was a little cold, dontcha think?
Emily
Oh dear, sweet Emily. Is it even possible to say an ugly word about her? Nope, and I don’t wanna. Between the big, blonde hair; her twangy drawl; and her petite, Southern Barbie appearance, can you blame Brad for breaking sacred Bachelor rules and pre-promising her a rose? Bless his heart!
Next week’s edits are making it look as though little Ricki, Emily’s darling daughter, is going to shun Brad like the rest of America. (Could it be that she’s been hiding copies of Us Weekly under her pillow?) However, we all know the tricks Chris Harrison likes to play with our hearts, so the chance that theirs will be the date-from-Hell is low.
Will Miss Em get a rose? You betcha.
Ashley H.
Girlfriend, why are you even still here? More importantly, can you freakin’ lay off those eyebrows a bit? They’re almost gone; soon you’ll have nothing left to pluck! You’re not a horrible person, not in the slightest. But there is something off about you. Sure, you’re cute and tiny and bubbly…and I know Brad enjoyed watching you make a nautical bra out of those Conch shells last night…by the way, high five for taking your top off. Being one of the only girls on the show without insane implants can’t be easy.
I would totally be BFFs with you in real life. You look like a ton of fun when you’re drunk. Earplugs would completely take care of that annoying whiney voice you make from time to time. No doubt, we’d be fast friends. But you and Brad? More importantly, you getting a rose from Brad? Not in this lifetime. And I think you know it too, since the only conversation you’ve had with Brad in 6 weeks has been of the “OMG, please don’t send me home, baby!” variety.
Way to play it cool, Bubbles.
What were your thoughts on last night? Who felt bad when nerdy Britt got the premature boot off the yacht? I know my heart crumbled for her rejected, ill-coifed head. (Seriously, did Brad call ahead during the first course for that dingy to pull up behind the boat?) And how about the inevitable demise of Michelle, resident madwoman?
Let’s all just let out a sigh of relief and write nasty comments.