He Said/She Said: Your Place or Mine?

March 8, 2011 3:00 pm     Posted in Relationships, Sex  Lauren - University of Michigan g+ page


By Lauren

[He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

Call me a whore (why not, my mother does), but I love me some casual hook ups. There’s something thrilling about going out, chatting it up with a hottie in a great pair of jeans, and heading home to tear off those jeans and get it on. Alcohol fueled or not, I love the whole carnal passion element of it all. The fact that the whole thing is purely physical. What? It’s hot!

Sure, it’s not the basis of a long lasting relationship, but it is the basis of a great story to share with the roommates come morning. And isn’t that what we’re all looking for?

But what I don’t love about a little late night nookie is when it happens at his place. I know it’s not the best idea to invite some dude into your house just because he’s got nice biceps (or seems to, at least, through those beer goggles), but I enjoy the comforts of my own glorious bed (topped with a memory foam pad, a feather down duvet and 4 very squishy pillows) and the control that bringing a lad back to my place offers.

I also happen to enjoy a few other things about having a romp in my own hay:

1. The Cleanliness Factor: Have you ever seen a college boy’s room? Like, really seen it? I have, too many times, and I can’t get the image of the dirty box fan, crusty dishes and empty whiskey bottles out of my head. And don’t even get me started on the smell of ripe gym clothes, leftover beer and fart that have permeated every surface, especially the mattress that your body will be pressed against all night since the sheets are bunched up somewhere near the bottom of the bed. If I’m gonna be naked somewhere, I’d rather it be in my bed where I know the exact date the sheets were last washed (and it wasn’t the day my mother moved me in).

2. The Comfort Factor: I never sleep well in someone else’s bed. Maybe it’s the fact that college boys only have one pillow and I’m forced to lie flat on my back without any neck support. Maybe it’s all the weird and unfamiliar sounds I hear (both from his body and from the decrepit house he lives in). Maybe it’s the worry that I’m going to mess up my hair while I sleep and wake up looking like Nick Nolte. Maybe it’s the fact that I really have to pee but don’t know where my clothes or the bathroom are so I have to hold it until it hurts. Maybe it’s the combination of all of the above that keeps me up all night, listening to this guy snore and watching the clock until it’s a socially acceptable time to gather my things, have an awkward goodbye (“Uh, thanks for that. It was fun. Toodles!”) and run home.

3. The Convenience Factor: I’m not gonna tote a toothbrush, toothpaste, makeup remover and my morning vitamin with me to the bar. Come on, not only is that a bit presumptuous, but how is that all going to fit in my going-out bag? That being said, I’m also not going to get any morning sex with my breath smelling like hot garbage. At home, fresh breath and my hot iron (for a sexy, tousled, bed head look) are only a few steps away.

4. The “If You Live Here, You’re Already Home” Factor: I don’t care if that kid stays all day and expects me to order him lunch or do his laundry; I’ll do anything to avoid the knowing stares and judgmental whispers of passersby on the Walk of Shame….

Oh, and having the roommates nearby for the morning after recap is just icing on the post coital cake.

So, where do guys like to get it on? Let’s find out what He Says.

14 Comments on "He Said/She Said: Your Place or Mine?"

  1. e. says:
    Tue, 8th Mar 20113:57 pm 

    This whole thing makes me think of the episode of Sex and the City when Carrie sleeps with a 20something at his place, wakes up, and witnesses the guy she just slept with making coffee with toilet paper for a filter. So your place. Definitely your place.

  2. criolle johnny says:
    Tue, 8th Mar 20114:34 pm 

    Did you really use SATC to bolster your position? You DO know that it's just a TV show and a movie?
    … and in defense of the guy using t/p for a filter, paper towels don't drain properly and you get water all over the damn counter!

    Why do men prefer showers to bathing?

    'cus peein' in the bath water is GROSS!

  3. sam says:
    Tue, 8th Mar 201111:04 pm 

    hahha thats exactly what I think of whenever I sleep at my boyfriends apartment… love satc.

  4. rox says:
    Tue, 8th Mar 201111:08 pm 

    "Maybe it’s the fact that college boys only have one pillow and I’m forced to lie flat on my back without any neck support"
    I really, really get you.

  5. Aimee says:
    Wed, 9th Mar 20119:25 am 

    The opening paragraph is me in entirety! Hahaha I completely understand this article!

  6. Lauren - University of Michigan says:
    Wed, 9th Mar 201112:45 pm 

    Who are you, Criolle Johnny? And if you hate CC readers' opinions as much as it seems you do, why do you come back daily!?

  7. criolle johnny says:
    Wed, 9th Mar 20112:34 pm 

    Lauren, I seldom hate . I do enjoy presenting an opposing view. I invite return comments, positive and negative in the hopes of stimulating dialog. If I offend, and it causes someone to write, at least they are thinking about the material!
    Would you prefer a world filled with parrots, echoing one another with the same opinion? Sadly, I think that's what too many college campuses have become. All of the opinions are Liberal. The few opposing opinions are radically, rabidly conservative. Altogether too much like our press, the rational middle is left out of the conversation.
    Happy St Pat's I'm making Irish Cream candles.

  8. Abbalene says:
    Thu, 10th Mar 20111:43 am 

    this is why hook ups with strangers aren't worth it…

    and STDs

  9. Veronica says:
    Sun, 20th Mar 20117:04 pm 

    Maybe it's the fact that I live in a smaller city where I can walk home from some places or have the guy give me a ride after, but what is the deal with sleeping with each other after you have sex? I've never understood why people are concerned about looking good in the morning or being comfortable in that space when they can just go home afterward.

    That being said, I prefer going to the guy's place usually because my apartment has very thin walls. But I can understand why going to your own place works.

  10. S says:
    Wed, 30th Mar 20118:51 pm 

    I hate sleeping with the guys I hook up with. I like to hook up and then go our separate ways… I like having my own bed with my own space, plus sometimes I like to order a late night snack and I can't really do that with a boy in my bed.

    I actually wrote all about this on my blog: http://afterthemorningafter.wordpress.com

  11. Manders says:
    Sat, 2nd Apr 20116:27 pm 

    I feel this is a terrible generalization. I tend to enjoy sleeping over at my friend with benefit's room more than my own. I don't know what kind of men you gals are attracted to, but my man has bedsheets that feel like polar bear fur, five full sized pillows and the comfiest blanket in the world which he washes every week. All in a room that smells amazing attached to an equally amazing smelling bathroom with enough spare toothbrushes and fluffy white towels and a rainfall shower. He's an amazing cook and does the dishes right after he uses them. And no, he's not an anal clean freak, he just knows how to make things comfy for him and his guests. But then, he's an asian, so maybe things are different there. Heck, sometimes I'm embarrassed when he stays over my place.
    Most importantly, he has cool roommates who (being guys) don't give us judging looks the next morning unlike my roommates.

  12. Jake says:
    Wed, 6th Apr 201111:02 am 

    Okay, I'll take the bait. Maybe your mother wouldn't call you a whore if, you know, you didn't act like one.

  13. james says:
    Mon, 9th Jan 20128:07 pm 

    Is he gay?

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