He Said/She Said: Your Place or Mine?
[He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]
Call me a whore (why not, my mother does), but I love me some casual hook ups. There’s something thrilling about going out, chatting it up with a hottie in a great pair of jeans, and heading home to tear off those jeans and get it on. Alcohol fueled or not, I love the whole carnal passion element of it all. The fact that the whole thing is purely physical. What? It’s hot!
Sure, it’s not the basis of a long lasting relationship, but it is the basis of a great story to share with the roommates come morning. And isn’t that what we’re all looking for?
But what I don’t love about a little late night nookie is when it happens at his place. I know it’s not the best idea to invite some dude into your house just because he’s got nice biceps (or seems to, at least, through those beer goggles), but I enjoy the comforts of my own glorious bed (topped with a memory foam pad, a feather down duvet and 4 very squishy pillows) and the control that bringing a lad back to my place offers.
I also happen to enjoy a few other things about having a romp in my own hay:
1. The Cleanliness Factor: Have you ever seen a college boy’s room? Like, really seen it? I have, too many times, and I can’t get the image of the dirty box fan, crusty dishes and empty whiskey bottles out of my head. And don’t even get me started on the smell of ripe gym clothes, leftover beer and fart that have permeated every surface, especially the mattress that your body will be pressed against all night since the sheets are bunched up somewhere near the bottom of the bed. If I’m gonna be naked somewhere, I’d rather it be in my bed where I know the exact date the sheets were last washed (and it wasn’t the day my mother moved me in).
2. The Comfort Factor: I never sleep well in someone else’s bed. Maybe it’s the fact that college boys only have one pillow and I’m forced to lie flat on my back without any neck support. Maybe it’s all the weird and unfamiliar sounds I hear (both from his body and from the decrepit house he lives in). Maybe it’s the worry that I’m going to mess up my hair while I sleep and wake up looking like Nick Nolte. Maybe it’s the fact that I really have to pee but don’t know where my clothes or the bathroom are so I have to hold it until it hurts. Maybe it’s the combination of all of the above that keeps me up all night, listening to this guy snore and watching the clock until it’s a socially acceptable time to gather my things, have an awkward goodbye (“Uh, thanks for that. It was fun. Toodles!”) and run home.
3. The Convenience Factor: I’m not gonna tote a toothbrush, toothpaste, makeup remover and my morning vitamin with me to the bar. Come on, not only is that a bit presumptuous, but how is that all going to fit in my going-out bag? That being said, I’m also not going to get any morning sex with my breath smelling like hot garbage. At home, fresh breath and my hot iron (for a sexy, tousled, bed head look) are only a few steps away.
4. The “If You Live Here, You’re Already Home” Factor: I don’t care if that kid stays all day and expects me to order him lunch or do his laundry; I’ll do anything to avoid the knowing stares and judgmental whispers of passersby on the Walk of Shame….
Oh, and having the roommates nearby for the morning after recap is just icing on the post coital cake.
So, where do guys like to get it on? Let’s find out what He Says.