USC Frat E-mail Shocks and Appalls, But I’m Just Appalled

So I don’t know if you ladies have heard yet but a couple of frat boys didn’t heed CollegeCandy’s expert advice about being careful of what you post on the internet. And now we all get to read just what one member of USC’s Kappa Sigma chapter thinks about women, while being simultaneously insulted and disgusted by the rating system, code names, and vocabulary lesson he gives his brothers on what it takes to be an effective “cocksman” (read: someone who it taught to live by the two most applicable principles I know: The Pie [the vagina] and the Gullet [the mouth]).

Annoyed already? But oh, it get’s so much better…

I will refer to females as “targets”. They aren’t actual people like us men. Consequently, giving them a certain name or distinction is pointless.

I have to give these guys some credit. They make no attempt to hide what misogynistic, sexist, racist, horrible human beings they actually are from the very beginning, when they tilt the world backwards on its axis with this comment. I mean, really? Was there ever even a time when women weren’t at least viewed as human beings?

Drawbacks of this philosophy [not wearing a condom] are that you may have to visit the clinic more often than not, but a quick penicillin shot really isn’t that bad (trust me).

Note the complete disregard for the woman’s health and safety. Note also that the fact that not wearing a condom could result in pregnancy is not even a thought in this man’s head. It’s as though he doesn’t even make the connection that unprotected sex can result in pregnancy simply because he’s not the one who would be pregnant.

Be careful when you cheat, but still cheat.

The pride and joy of Kappa Sigma also goes on to list a ranking system for the girls, excuse me “pies,” one gets with, and gives the above advice for those ranked at number 5. I have no words.

Non-consent and rape are two different things. There is a fine line, so make sure not to cross it.

Last time I checked, rape was non consensual sex. Or did I miss something? Here is where, for me at least, this letter moves from disgusting to disturbing. It’s one thing to be a manwhore.
It’s something else entirely to be a manwhore who doesn’t understand the concept of no.

You can read the letter in its entirety over at Jezebel, but it’s pretty much just one horrifying comment after another. But there’s really not much I can say about this letter that hasn’t been said before. It’s a degrading, insulting, disgusting, sexist, misogynistic piece of trash that is a disgrace not only for Kappa Sigma but for men in general. (Okay I guess I could think of a few things to say.) And for that reason I can see why the rest of the internet (like our gal pals at The Frisky) is freaking out over it, because I am too.

But what I can’t understand is why they’re so shocked that stuff like this exists out there. On Tuesday, I wrote about the shocking statistics that prove that women are still very far off from achieving equality, and about how we don’t always acknowledge or even realize that. And this letter is proof of just that.

Behind closed doors, when guys aren’t trying to score a “Guap n’ Drop” by taking women out to dinner and pretending like they actually believe they are human beings, this is how a lot of men talk. Not all men, but a lot of them, and especially a lot of college guys who have yet to reach the stage of wanting a real relationship and are only concerned with scoring “pies”. (I apologize. I can’t not use the air quotes. It’s just too ridiculous.)  As a college girl in a college setting have I experienced college guys being misogynistic? Yes. Sexist?  Yes. Degrading and demeaning? Check and check. Just because every guy who embraces this type of thinking doesn’t type up an e-mail (or a newspaper article) and send it around to all his friends doesn’t mean this stuff doesn’t happen. That doesn’t make it okay, but it does make it reality.

A reality we are not always aware of.

So while the writer of this letter claimed he would track down and take the soul of anyone who sent his e-mail to anyone outside of Kappa Sigma, I for one want to shake that man’s hand. Not because he thought this e-mail was too funny not to pass along, but because maybe now a few more people will realize exactly what women are dealing with.

Thoughts? Comments? Angry rants? Share below.



  1. Christen says:

    Thank you so much for focusing more on the fact that this was written by some guys with serious issues, when you could have focused on the fact that he was Greek. I read this story while I was actually eating lunch with my date at formal for a different Kappa Sigma chapter, and the guys just sat and shook their heads and said what an idiot. Men can be chauvinistic pigs, regardless of Greek affiliation or not.

  2. allie says:

    well actually it is a big deal, treating women like their not people just "pies" thats not good. if you just sit and take it nothing gets changed people will not learn that this behavior is not right its wrong!

  3. Eimear says:

    While I think it's disgusting what he said, I think people take themselves too seriously and can't just laugh off the fact that this guy is an absolute loser. By making it a big deal, it becomes a big deal. If we pay no heed to it, at least we all know that he won't get laid by any self respecting girl.

    1. laura says:

      it's totally cool that this guy has these views about women as long as no women are sleeping with him? what? exactly what part of this letter is laughable to you? i'm genuinely curious.

    2. allie says:

      its is a big deal, sorry to burst your bubble, but laughing about rape to me is a big deal because its like saying that rape is something that is acceptable to joke about, and it isn't

    3. Jake says:

      The problem is a lot of women don't respect themselves and fall for guys like this all the time.

  4. Annemarie says:

    This is why I could never respect fraternities. Houses full of douchebags they are.

    1. Leora Michele says:

      Wrong. It's wrong to blame fraternities. There's just as many non-Greek douchebags too. I know Kappa Sigmas at my school and they're a bunch of great guys. Just like in any group, there are douchebags everywhere.

    2. g m g says:

      for every good fraternity there's a bad fraternity. its one of those laws of the universe that continues to stand the test of time.

  5. Jay says:

    its true!
    one guy wrote this.
    ive heard that this did not come from USC.. had nothing to do with Kappa Sigma. one loser transferred from San Diego State and forwarded it to the house.

    dont blame the greek system
    dont blame Kappa Sigma
    DO NOT blame men.

    blame the ONE guy and get over it. im pretty sure this idiot has learnt his lesson now.
    how can you let one fool represent a whole fraternity / a whole greek system

    1. Laura says:

      it's sad that your concern here is for the fraternity/greek system and yet you say nothing about the messages it conveys. Get over it? It's a hard pill to swallow that people are perpetuating the idea that rape is OK (and, yes, non consensual sex is rape). People do think like this, not just this ONE guy.

  6. molly says:

    Wait… what? There's an email going around encouraging rape and using filthy derogatory comments towards women, and the comments are "Why can't you women just ignore it?" "What's really important here is that we don't blame all the other boys in the frat that laughed at it and passed it on to their friends," "My boyfriend's with that frat and he said they're all nice – and he wouldn't lie to me about that."
    His name was on the email. Emails come from an address. The intro talked about how this was in response to other reports. The frat only denounced it when it was clear that the "targets" had heard about it. They still are pretending like they don't know who wrote it, they can't prove anything and it had nothing to do with them – even though they all passed it around because they thought it was funny. What's important here is that we make clear that this is not acceptable – NOT that we run around trying to assure everyone who encouraged it "Don't worry dear, we don't blame you."

  7. Ely says:

    Regardless of whether he gets laid in the future or not, it's appalling that someone would express these thoughts, or even think this way in the first place. This guy is a predator who dehumanizes women as mere objects to justify his 'conquests'– he should be publicly shamed and kept away from women. Despicable.

  8. Matt T says:

    The author is so blunt and upfront about rape and misogyny that I'm pretty sure that this email was intended as satire along the lines of "A Modest Proposal".

  9. Josephine1 says:

    Other sites are reporting that the author of this email was the social chairman of the USC Kappa Sig chapter and that the email was originally sent in January but the chapter didn't get around to terminating him as social chairman and expelling him from the chapter until March, indicating that they saw no need to censure this individual until the email became public and starting generating bad publicity for them. The author shown on the email has now shutdown his Facebook (although the cache is still visible through some search engines) and the USC Kappa Sig chapter has temporarily shutdown its website, causing one to wonder if the website formerly showed the author of the email as social chairman and/or a person listed on the chapter's active roster.

  10. Jenny says:

    I think what he is saying is gross, and he is a pig, but i think its a joke. A joke which he took way too far, but give the guy a break. There are awful people in the world, but this is definitely not even close to the worst of what people say. He is an idiot, and people should be disgusted, but there are more important things that we should be focusing on.

  11. gaymafagma says:

    So, college candy girl, how many frat guys have you slept with?

  12. Usclife says:

    I am a freshman girl at USC who happens to feel safe at Kappa Sig and at ALL other fraternities on the Row.
    If you knew the Kappa Sig's there you would understand that 50% of the guys in there are shy and nerdy and the other 50% are fun, typical college guys that do not see women as targets.
    I've been to multiple invites and registered parties where guys respected their dates and fellow students. The kappa sigs who live in my hall at New North happen to be gentlemen and there idea of a good time does not involve anything in the email.
    This email which was sent from the brother who transferred from San Diego State. He had shared the email there and then brought it here when he transferred to USC. The email is terrible and makes me uncomfortable that someone could even write that, or be stupid enough to leave a cyber trail.

    1. socal1 says:

      They are being nice to you to trick you and have sex with you. That is a pretty immature judgement of people. You should be more careful about who you trust, because the world is really not all rainbows and butterflies. People will be fake to get what they want. You don't have to listen to me, just trying to help. I wouldn't want anything bad happening to anyone.

  13. em kay says:

    The Vice President of Student Affairs at USC sent a long email out to all the students around 11 am on Friday (3/18). It said the email didn't originate at USC and the student who sent it isn't even a member of the USC chapter of Kappa Sigma . It came from a student on the east coast who sent it to the listserv of the USC chapter of Kappa Sigma in November 2010.

  14. Jae says:

    The letter was rough and disgusting. Absolutely. But we cannot teach men how to treat women without learning how to treat ourselves. Dressing in dresses that show our asses and cleavage? Yeah, not exactly sending out the right message. Of course, there will be men that will objectify a women in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but we need to teach them how to treat women. And those that can't be taught should have it beat into them. Seriously. Rape and non-consent? NOT two different things I almost threw up.

  15. I think the following line is highly under-rated in this discussion:

    "Don't fuck middle-eastern targets. Exhibit some patriotism and have some pride. You want your c*ck smelling like falafel? Filth."

    1. (a line from the email)

  16. […] no secret that there are some misogynistic, dangerous frats out there, but it only takes the actions of a few fraternity members to create an […]

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