10 Reasons You Should Break It Off

Relationships can be great — always having someone to cuddle with, vent to, and share your favorite things with – but unfortunately things don’t always go as smoothly as planned. Sometimes once you get to know a person — once you spend more than a few month’s worth of sexy nights with them — you realize that maybe things aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

Let’s get really honest for a second — most of us have stayed in a relationship or two far past its expiration date. Sometimes we get too blinded by the bright shiny light of love to realize when a relationship has become toxic and needs to be over. Breaking up isn’t easy, I know, but sometimes you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.

If you’re having problems figuring out whether to stay or go, here are some things that scream “it’s over”… or should be.

Abuse. Under no circumstances should you be staying with a person who is emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive. You can do better, I promise. If your partner is hurting you in any way, get out — and fast. If you need some help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

Lack of respect. For you, your space, your family, your friends, your dreams, the list goes on. Respect is one of the most basic of things you should be expecting from a significant other, and if that’s not there it’s time to pack your bags.

Lackluster sex. Sure, this seems shallow, but if you can’t imagine having sex with only this person on a long-term basis, it’s probably best to get out. Some things can be remedied — spice things up and get a little kinky — but if you’re sexually incompatible (find out here!), it’s better to end it now than to drag it out.

They don’t support you. Sure, your dream of being a skydiving instructor may be a little extreme, but that doesn’t give your partner an excuse to crap all over it. If your partner is completely unsupportive of your goals, hopes, or ambitions; you’re not dating a person who is worth your time.

No love. If, after a reasonable amount of time, you’re just not feeling those feelings of love or a desire for a long-term commitment, you should probably break it off. Pro tip: a break-up after three months typically hurts much less than a break-up after three years.

Cheating. Whether it was you or your partner, cheating means you need to seriously reevaluate your relationship. Why did it happen? Can you be positive it will never happen again? Will your relationship honestly be able to recover? — Just some things to think about.

Liar, Liar. How can you know your true feelings if your relationship is based on lies? Regardless of who happens to be the guilty party, lying is a big hint that a relationship is slowly but surely going down the drain. Remember my point about respect? If someone truly respects you, they will tell you the truth.

Different directions. One of the best parts of being in a relationship is the hypothetical future you can make up together. Not only is it fun, but it’s also a good way to feel out whether or not your ideas of a future match up — do you both want kids? Do you want to live in the same places? There’s no point continuing a relationship that is going to come to a head once the big decisions come up, so if you find yourself dating someone with a very different future in mind, you should break it off.

No direction. Another thing you can learn from that hypothetical game is whether or not you even want a future with the person you’re dating. Can’t see it going anywhere? Do the right thing and break it off —  that is, unless the other person feels the same way too.

Just because. Sometimes you don’t need to have a reason, sometimes it’s just over. Save both of you the drawn-out, emotionally draining break-up and just get it over with. And remember: quick like a band-aid, and don’t look back.



    1. Ashley says:

      I'm going through half of these but I can't seem to let go.

      1. Jessica says:

        me too. it's been 5 years and it's really, really hard after all this time…

      2. Rebecca Shepherd says:

        I know how that feels. The guy ended up breaking up with me. I knew I had been miserable in the relationship but I still couldn't let go! It took me months and months and months to get over an abusive, miserable, four-month relationship. But I am so much better for it. Now I see the guy for who he really is, and I am completely disgusted by him. I am so glad I got out of that cycle! I'm watching another girl get caught in that cycle with him, and I feel so bad for her. You will not regret getting out of that relationship. Break all ties. Don't communicate with him at all, because he will continue to manipulate and abuse you if you do.

    2. Erika says:

      agreed with the person above!! i'm going through the same exact thing and every time i try to end it, i find out i don't have enough courage to go through with it

    3. Anya says:

      i dont know, like i feel im getting nothing out of my relationship (except for like material stuff like vases and flowers), but i dont particularly mind it that much, while he seems to like me a lot…. should i stick with it for his sake? :-/

      1. Tiff says:

        No. In the end you'll end up hurting him more.

    4. Angela says:

      I am experiencing literally ALL of these. I just need my boyfriend to come back into town to officially break it off. I've been waiting for a week, and he's called me once, maybe twice, in that entire time.

    5. Chula says:

      after getting back with my 1st love, him moving in with me, buying a dog, him going to the hopital for stents….me going into the hopital for staph infections all in 4 1/2 months, i called it quits!!!!…he was verbally abusive, engery sucker, no money , health issue …called woman b***ch * h*es….i said …"im done, you & ur dog need to go…Now he is gone, & i am so happy..getting by health back , i sleep better living happier…did i mention sex was not good!….If it stinks in the being…its going to stink to the very end…Be strong people…

    6. Chloe says:

      Im going through so many of these things and cant find the courage to leave. I get out the door and the happy memories and promises keep me comimg back

    7. haley says:

      I feel like im going through alot of these stages….im scared to be alone i haven't been single since i was 15 and im now 20. i dont know what to do especially because ive recently lost my closest girl friends so i dont really have a support system ;(

      1. princessshelita says:

        haley thats an excuse, and ur too young to be scared to be alone. live your life learn who u are as a will appreciate it later when u realize that being by yourself isnt a bad thing when you refuse to settle.

      2. Jen says:

        Haley, you are better off without him . I am 57 years old. I went through a very bad relationship. I could not let him go, this was years ago, he was bad for me, I was his back bone, he gave nothing back to me. he was a looser and still is, after 10 years of us breaing up, he is still lost. Love yourself girl, let it go. there is nothing wrong with being alone for a while, you will learn alot about you, God Bless you!

    8. Jade says:

      Get out. Someone better will come along.

      My last serious relationship was a disaster. I wonder why. Maybe because it met a lot of the points on this list? He was emotionally manipulative/abusive, but I simply excused it. I knew he lied, but just called myself paranoid. Forget respectful, forget any attention to my dreams (pretty sure he tuned out). He was even sexually incompatible; something more apparent after 2 months or so.

      Yes, I was incredibly depressed from the loss of a one-year-and-a-half person in my life. But that faded.

      Fast. Hopefully you laugh at yourself afterwards for putting up with the bullshit, and for failing to realize other opportunities standing right in front of you. That goes for both guys and girls.

    9. NJ Mike says:

      Hmmm, strange…….I was told repeatedly that I was….too nice, to courteous to others, to giving, like a brother etc……and all I did was treat a woman like I was taught by my Mother, respect them and treat them well. Pay for dates, be there when needed, respect their parents and 'space' and I had to wait until I was almost 40 to become a father……after marriage.
      Here's two tips for you all:
      The quiet ones? Usually too dumb to have anything to say.
      You WILL NOT change men. Either choose wisely or be prepared for a relationship lilke the ones described above.

      1. twistedbade says:

        nice one..,:) so true!!:)

    10. […] did a great post for girls who aren’t sure whether or not to stay in a relationship: 10 Reasons You Should Break It Off. Love this: I Am Giving Up Being an Insecure Head Case for Lent. Amen! And okay, although Lent has […]

    11. Ash says:

      My boyfriend and I have been together just over 4 years now. Things were terrific until I graduated High school and started working 50+ hours and attending school. i see him for a total of 6 to 8 hours a week IF im lucky. if not i dont see him at all. i dont feel he makes any effort to see me nor does he support me, i think he used to but now is just giving up. but after 4 years can i really just walk away and be done and okay… theres just so much to my story and what we've been though. I've currently been noticing attention from other guys more and i really like one of the guys who comes into my work many nights. and we talk but not anymore than 5 minutes when he somes in but i'd like to give him my number but my boyfriend doesnt allow me to talk to other guys. i have NOT 1 friend but he spends 4 days a week with them but NEVER does he ask to come over and see me… which is starting to make me feel like i'm alone anyways.

    12. ¨lids says:

      you are right me men think they are sent from above and we should kneel down 4 them mosense love me or not

    13. sharon says:

      men think we are a visa and whenever they want they can come pick us up

    14. @mycolleges says:

      Sometimes it's hard to let go of a relationship that's on the out. I've seen people who are way too scared to be alone to leave a dysfunctional relationship. If the relationship isn't working, it's easier to get out sooner than later.

    15. tina says:

      gosh i wish i would have saw this a long time ago… if anybody is questioning their relationship get out now. questioning is a good sign that it's not right. if they are THE ONE. you will know. at least this is what i have been told.

    16. twistedbade says:

      heres mine.. my last relationship ended about 6 months ago, i found out that hes married, with 2 kids, so i broke up with him.. now hes working abroad, he keeps on sending me emails telling me that he still loves me, but i dont love him anymore..hes coming home this year and he told me that he wants me back,i said no, but he said hes gonna do something that will make me come back to him..

      1. Lisa says:

        block his emails and phone calls and RUN!

    17. Gold Davison says:

      No one is perfect! however, in the case we may see these problem, we should let it god..and break it off as soon as we can. Some one may see 2 or 3 reason before they decide to break off…others may see one of them to decide break off. any way, I hate abuse..and NO LOVE.

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