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Can We Stop the Slut Shaming Now?

One of the easiest ways to send me into a rage blackout is to start slut shaming anyone.

Our society has incredibly dysfunctional, scary, and repressive ways of approaching sexuality, especially female sexuality. If we dare to step outside those narrowly defined boundaries, society finds it completely acceptable to hurl words like “slut” and “whore” at us. We’re called sluts for endless reasons: our hair is too big, our nails are too red, we wear too much glitter, our skirts are too short, we look like we may enjoy giving blow jobs, we dance too suggestively, our sense is humor is too raunchy, we like casual sex, we talk about sex, we’re not ashamed of our breasts and vaginas…the list could go on for ever. We all know a lot of men who hate women, and will find any excuse to brand women as sluts.

But there are far too many women who openly buy into those standards and hyper-judge other women.

The other day, I read a CC article giving advice on how to be sexy and not whorey. This attitude merely perpetuates the idea that women can’t openly enjoy sex. Indicating you enjoy sex doesn’t mean you want to have sex with everyone, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re reckless and riddled with sexually transmitted diseases. (Sidebar: 80 percent of sexually active adults will contract at least one STD in their lifetime, so maybe we should stop stigmatizing them). And maybe women wear high heels because they make our legs look long and give us an extra boost of fierce confidence, not because we’re walking street corners hoping to lure some sucker into paying $50 for a BJ. And perhaps we wear cropped shirts because our stomachs may never be this flat and toned again, so why not relish it and show it off?

And if we meet a new love interest and we’re interested in dating/sexytimes, why wouldn’t we want to tell him (or her) the deal and get the ball rolling? Personally, I hate subtlety when it comes to courtship. I don’t enjoy wasting my time trying to decipher signals. If I were talking to a guy who was being all coy and cagey and mentioned that he was hanging out with other girls and started negging me, just so I wouldn’t think that he wasn’t that interested in me? I’d strut off in my stilettos to find a guy who is not afraid to tell me he likes me, and I would definitely extend the same courtesy. Life is way too short to play silly mind games, especially if you’re only playing them for fear of being labeled a slut.

In my dream world, loaded terms like “slut” and “whore” would be completely eradicated from our vocabularies. They only exist to stifle brazen female expressions of sexuality (it’s telling that there are no equivalent words in the English language to describe male behavior). Society has been trying to silence and suppress women for ages, and there is no reason for women to continue to perpetuate this cycle. It’s time that we all embrace the fact that some women are loud, unashamed, and don’t give a f*ck. Teases and sluts and prudes and everyone in-between should all be able to co-exist free from the catty remarks of other women. Let’s leave the misogyny to the crappy, clueless, insensitive guys out there.

    Comments

    Comments

    1. Myst says:

      One of the best articles I've read on this site. I'm so tired of embracing your sexuality being frowned upon.

    2. Rachel says:

      i agree about the cropped tops and short skirts and heels. I dress this way because I'm 18 and I'm thin and I think i look cute and good in those clothes. When I'm 50 years old, I'm obviously not gonna be able to wear my mini skirts and bright pink heels anymore😦 so of course I'm going to wear those types of clothes now!

    3. Arielle says:

      Amen sista ! Fabulous article.. enough said .

    4. alexandra says:

      Wait, sooo… you're saying we should be whorey?
      I get your point but I think it needs some work.
      What you're describing is, to me, the actual definition of sexy, which that previous article did a bad job of.

    5. Sss says:

      I understand what women are trying to say in all these arguments against slut-shaming but I do think there is such a thing as a "slut". People are just using the term in completely unjust and unnecessary ways, slinging it around at the most trivial of things (a short dress, a girl who likes to flirt, etc.).

      To me, a "slut" is someone who sleeps around a lot *and* DOESN'T use protection. This goes for males as well (even though they don't get shamed for it–but that's a worn-out conversation).

      There's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying casual sex and having many partners, and those women do NOT deserve to be called sluts and whores. But those people who do it unsafely and put others in danger deserve to be called out for it.

      1. criolle johnny says:

        The argument should perhaps be "sexy" v "slutty". If you're dating and sleeping together, and have a different consistent partner every semester that's one thing.
        If you have three children from three different fathers, (one named "Billy-Ray" because, "well, you know, those were the two most likely guys" ) AND you've had two abortions because those two assholes wouldn't marry you … IT ISN'T "SLUT SHAMING"!
        Now I'm a pig. Get out of college a while and meet some of these creatures. I refuse to call them either women or mothers. http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2011/04/13/newburgh-phttp://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/08/16/bodies-child

      2. Jane Eyre says:

        So should we also call out smokers because they're putting me in danger. So are bad drivers. And people with colds and other contagious infections/illnesses. They're all putting me in danger. And I believe those can all be more life-threatening than some STDs. Don't use a double standard. That's silly.

    6. Caitlin says:

      This is definitely one of the best articles I've read on CC. I'm SICK and TIRED of people frowning upon women who enjoy sex. Who cares if a man or woman wants to sleep around. It's their business and as long as protection is used then what's the problem!?

    7. About time yall have another interesting article…this one is GREAT…hits the whole perception right on the button…keep it up…

      I Need SEX Now!New B^tch Is Taking Up All MY Time;I'm Working Late Won't Cut It Anymore | Side Chick or Not http://t.co/vFKU1RW

    8. Anonymous coward says:

      There is truth here. But don’t feel that you HAVE to dress up in the least practical and most revealing possible clothing to be sexy. That would be every bit as closed minded as the aforementioned “shamers”. When I see tragically dressed girls on the street, I do keep my (not as harsh as those mentioned in this article) opinions to myself, BUT…

      As a normal guy I’m only interested in one girl at a time. A girl who is only interested in one guy at a time. It’s sexy when she dresses smart. If it’s cold, dress up warm. This is common sense. Don’t wear shoes that stop you from walking – or running, driving, or kicking some arse.

      When she looks like she’s capable and intelligent and in control – not trying to impress weak minded man whores – that’s when she’s hot.

      Don’t wear the high heels if you want to keep up with us, girls.

      But… That’s just what I like. I’m one guy. Take it or leave it. You might hate leather boots, pockets, jackets… You don’t have to like to wear them… Just remember that not everyone is going to be impressed by having breasts shoved in their face. Remember… You can assert your strength and feminist independence by screaming from the rooftops “I LOVE SEX! EVERYONE LOOK AT MY BODY!”, while you trip down every step and break your ankles (real clever)… Or you can assert it by being ready to open up a can at a moment’s notice, and by being so self confident that you don’t even need to advertise your sex to the world. Desperate bids to control men through sex says one thing: you are so dependant upon men, you can’t even reach the world without them.

      1. allie says:

        i agree with you fully. though i believe a women has the right to wear what she wants and i hate the words slut and whore, i've been called those things and i don't even dress that way, i believe women need to dress for common sense, cold outside wear a coat, going to school to learn, don't wear booty shorts just saying. yes girls do have a beautiful body and they shouldn't be ashamed of it but calling attention to it can make you seem desperate and trashy, not slutty. if i saw a guy who dressed like the dudes from the Jersey shore i would walk away and call them a douche, just saying.

      2. Cheryl Fryer says:

        I don't agree at all. You saying that all people should wear clothes for the same reason you wear them is ridiculous. Some people don't mind if their clothes are uncomfortable and would prefer feeling sexy, not saying that slutty always means sexy, or that women who dress like that feel that way. Also, what if someone just didn't feel as cold as you? Or had just come from somewhere else? Calling someone "desperate and trashy" is no better than calling someone slutty, and you are truly a hypocrite for thinking that it is.

      3. Cheryl Fryer says:

        I think this whole argument was stupid. I prefer men who don't gel their hair, and who don't wear silly skater or bro clothes, but I'm not going to assume they are doing it just for female attention and that that makes them stupid because I'm not actually into it.

        Frankly, I don't really care what you're attracted to, and I don't know why you bothered to post it. Are you so under the impression that women dress for men that you had to go out of your way to remind us that we don't need to dress for you? I'm sorry, but we do not need it. I dress for myself, and sometimes that includes skimpy clothes and makeup and sometimes it's regular clothes with makeup or without. It really depends of what I feel like. If there was nobody left on earth, my style would not change.

        I really just don't understand what you're trying to argue here. On one hand you agree with the article, on the other hand you think highheels are stupid and think women wear them because they're trying to impress you or they're feminists. You then end by saying that women are dependent on men, which really means nothing as many different individuals of different sexes contribute something to the world we could not live without (underpaid famers, and people giving birth, for instance)

        I think the problem here is that you're not attracted to "sluts", but think that women think that all men are. You have also defined men who are attracted to scantily dressed women as weak minded, which just shows what a condescending prude you really are. I don't think there is really anything worth value in this post, and I'm surprised even a woman was dumb enough to agree with you. Perhaps she only read the first part before you contradicted yourself.

      4. Smokey says:

        I like to wear a tank top at the gym, its nice to see the muscles ur working, motivating. I'll wear a tank top around when its hot some days, a cut up shirt feels much better then a normal shirt. Some people think im just showing off my body "showing off ur guns?" I do understand where they're coming from, ive found it to be intimidating to look at a ripped dude in a tank top publicly. One has leverage. When im wearing something revealing i feel the leverage, i don't flaunt it though. But just the image itself is a flaunt to many.
        A women who's revealed herself to men is much more potent then the ladder. I've been raised with the understanding that a women should find it in herself to respect the over whelming leverage she holds over men. They arouse many men who wish that it were kept off they're mind. Its like you want us to go back to being animals. Was it better that way? Ur driving me crazy, wheres the love?…

        I will be very prude in this life, with respect for the love i was raised on.

    9. Rachel says:

      OMG THANK YOU!!
      I wish more women would understand this so they could embrace their sexuality without having to be afraid of being slut-shamed. And I wish society would stop judging women as "worthless" because they've embraced their sexuality and dress how they please.

    10. A Reader says:

      I think there is a difference between being an openly sexual being (woman or man) who enjoys sex and somebody who acts completely promiscuously with disregard for herself and other people. I am open about sexuality, and true, I personally am highly selective about who I have sex with. I only have sex with someone I feel comfortable with who I am in a monogamous relationship with. That is my preference but I don't think it's the only way to be. I think it's fine to love sex, casual or not. But that doesn't mean I'd want my daughter showing her goods around to the world having sex with every guy she finds attractive, or who wants to have sex with her. I think people, men and women, should just maintain more control and thought over their actions. I don't think it's a matter of "letting women act just as recklessly as men". I think both genders should just be thought of as equal, sexual beings. I do not think that promiscuous dress should be encouraged. Women's clothing is made to be a lot more revealing than men's clothing, so of course people will see a scantily clad woman and think "whore" and not judge a man as much by his appearance. It's easier for a woman to dress with "less" (whether she means to be suggestive or revealing or not) than it is for men. Yes, men are going to be more likely to think a woman who dresses in more revealing clothes is "easy" because she is more willing already to expose herself more so than other women. It's a natural thought, I think.

      It is true that not every girl who dresses in short skirts and low cut shirts is a "slut". But they should probably think about how showing their skin affects people and stop complaining if people think they are "easier" than others. I thought the article that inspired this one was, in general (with some exceptions) a great article. I think it's great that some people still want to inspire women to dress more modestly, without being "overly" conservative or "overly" revealing.

      1. A Reader says:

        I would also like to add, that branding people with those harmful labels such as "slut" and "whore" is in general a bad habit. Those labels should just disappear. There are people who are more promiscuous than others but… that is all.

      2. Jane Eyre says:

        Why would you post a slut shaming comment on an article about stopping slut shaming? How about you mind your own business? Since when is how anyone else dresses or acts any of your concern? Just focus on yourself and I'm sure you'll be a lot happier.

    11. Irina says:

      Great article!
      We truly are our own worst enemies, ladies.

      1. christy says:

        men only want you to think that. theyre our enemies so much that theyve turned us on each other. sneaky mofos..

    12. oldfashioned says:

      a slut is a girl who does sexual thngs for attention or to feel better about herself. There is nothing wrong with "shaming" those people. They choose to put themselves in the spotlight. That being said, it's sometimes hard to tell the difference between a girl who wears low cut tops because she's proud of her body and feels sexy and a girl who wears low cut tops because she wants everyone else to validate her by hitting on her. It's not casual sex that makes you skanky, it's the motivation behind it. Also if you sleep with your friends bf then you deserve to be shamed

    13. Truth says:

      Why is the author trying to pretend sluts don't exist? Women who go around trying to get attention with risque clothing for no other reason trying to get attention are sluts. Women who have sex with every guy they think are cute for no reason that gratification are sluts. Women who can't keep from having a new boyfriend every two weeks are sluts.

      Plenty of women love sex and aren't sluts, those women don't do the aforementioned things.

      Stop trying to justify yourself.

      1. Katie says:

        So then men who sleep with a lot of women are sluts?? Be judgmental all you want, just don't be sexist.

      2. ayodeleohh says:

        yep. men who have slept with more than 25 women by the time they're 25 ARE MANWHORES!!! MANWHORE's. but society doesn't care. double standard blah, blah, blah.

      3. criolle johnny says:

        How many on this column have called Charlie Sheen a slut? Is anyone calling for a stop to HIS slut-shaming? He has the morals of Paris Hilton. He's making the same profits from it.

      4. Kar says:

        How come a woman who doesn't believe in calling people sluts has to be "defending herself?" I'm a goddamn virgin and I refuse to call people whores/sluts. It's a pointless battle that just creates a divide amongst women. Whatever happened to sisterhood?

    14. Hmmm says:

      I could take offense if someone takes issue with my wardrobe or my sexuality but then I’d be wasting my time on irrelevant bullshit.

      “Those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.” -Dr. Seuss

      “Poor is the man whose pleasure depends on the permission of another.” -Madge

      1. Cheryl Fryer says:

        You'd think differently if you were constantly treated with no respect, or if you had things thrown at you, were accused of having "daddy problems" and harassed constantly over the internet. These are just some of the things many girls face just for dressing like a "slut"or because they have in the past. It's not okay, and it's not something that can just be ignored.

    15. Glizz says:

      Seriously, it's only $50 for a BJ?

    16. *K* says:

      Agreed, but there is a difference between dressing/acting how you want because it makes you feel sexy and confident, and dressing/acting provocatively because you feel insecure and need male attention to feel good about yourself. IMO, if anyone, male or female, chooses to boost their own self-esteem by dressing/acting provocatively without regard for others, they need to be called out. I'm not saying they need to be called a slut, but I think it's high time we stop glamorizing the "slut" lifestyle and start teaching girls that they don't NEED to dress revealingly or have the attention of every man in a 5-mile radius in order to feel good about themselves. That's not empowerment. That's nothing more than buying into the patriarchal paradigm that women are nothing but objects to be admired and used for men's pleasure. Not saying you can't look sexy while doing it – but look sexy for YOU, and be respectful of others. I've seen way too many of my peers that have no qualms about passing around STD's, interfering with others' relationships, and who have lingering doubts and shame about some of the situations their provocative behavior has gotten them into – and justify what they are doing with the "I'm just embracing my sexuality" excuse. Go for it, embrace your sexuality and your good looks – but don't do it at the expense of other people, and do it for YOU.

    17. […] Stop Slut-Shaming. Preach it, girl. […]

    18. Hannah says:

      Although I completely agree with this & think slut shaming is bullllshit, I'm worried that I'm a hypocrite about it at the same time. When I was in 7th grade, one of my best friends stayed the night & I ended up catching her giving my older brother (who was 16 at the time) a BJ. I consider that completely whorish, on both of their parts. Besides that, there were numerous other questionable things she was doing around the same time (7th grade, people) – sex in the open in a parking garage, drinking in the back of a car with some guy who picked her up at a bowling alley, etc. Thoughts? Am I wrong to call her a whore yet think it's ridiculous to call people whores/sluts? What DO I call that?! Haha. Thoughts appreciated:)

      1. allie says:

        i don't think she was a whore i think your brother may have taken advantage of her. 7th grade is to young for sex, sorry but it is, and a 16 year old who goes for a 12/13 year old is creepy.

    19. Jennifer Castro says:

      The girls on http://www.collegetide.com, be always hating on others…campus gossip!

    20. ayodeleohh says:

      i kind of agree. but "maybe they should stop sleeping around" is never gonna work. Are you serious? do you think that'll ever happen? how about we educate about getting tested/ safe sex. if you're going to provide an alternative, at least provide one that's actually possible.

      1. Black Iris says:

        I disagree. Never have sex is a difficult goal most of us can't reach. Sleep with fewer partners is completely doable.

        Maybe instead of rebelling against the labels and shame, we should look at the reality – more partners = more chance of getting an STD. No judgements of sex, just a good reason to have fewer partners.

        Another good way to reduce the risk of getting an STD – drink less and don't have sex when you're drunk. Mabt STDs are caught while people are drunk and do things they wouldn't otherwise do.

      2. allie says:

        you can get herpes even with a condom, i don't think people realize that. that's why i'm mainly abstinent and i don't really have sex. sure i've made out with a few guys who were hot but who hasn't.

    21. ayodeleohh says:

      Not sure if I really agree with the article. I'm a slut shamer and I don't regret it. Crop tops=great, miniskirts=great, deep v-necks= I love em too. I wear short shorts because I have a great body, BUT when you wear a halter that barely covers your nipples, coochie cutter shorts and 6 inch heels out it public, I'm going to laugh at you. Why? because I call bull when you have to be that exposed to feel sexy and confident. if you need to be that naked to feel sexy and confident you are overcompensating that you have nothing else going for you. Get a job, go to school, and become someone you can be proud of (not saying that you shouldn't be proud of your body) but you're pathetic if that's how extremely "sexy" you have to dress to feel good about yourself. And you probably have daddy issues. Sort things out internally. Trust me I'm not a "represser of female sexuality" I defended Rihanna when she got flack for S&M. My rule of thumb is when I walk out of the house and someone could confuse me with a prostitute, yeah, that's too much. And what's wrong with women only being able to express ourselves with our clothes? How about we show that we have brains as well. Just a thought.

      1. blackiris says:

        Well, some people would say that miniskirts and deep V-necks are going too far and make you look like a prostitute. It's all about fashion and the standards of your culture. Clothes don't have an inherent meaning.

        I guess the bottom line is we should think for ourselves about why we're dressing a certain way – is it for comfort or to get attention? Then, we should probably also take into account how guys are going to react or where we are, etc.

        For other people, the best bet is to try not to judge and listen to friends and family about their decisions.

      2. allie says:

        i agree with you, if a girl dresses a certain way to get a guys attention then yes that is a little sad, but i'm sure me showing even a little bit of skin to other people makes them think that i'm a huge slutbag. i grew up being taught that the human body was beautiful, no matter what the size or gender was. i was taught that nudity was not wrong it was natural, God made it.

    22. christelle says:

      im so glad this article was posted in response to "how to look sexy not whorey" article, which i found absolutely horrible. this article here is just a tip of the iceburg.. seriously, i think this feminism stuff is so interesting, and so serious. if you want more information to inspire some righteous indignation, please go here: http://historyisaweapon.com/defcon1/riotgrrrlmani… You'll be glad you did, it changed my life. Learning about feminism and how society shames female sexualiy truly enlightened me. I've completely stopped using words like slut and whore. im more confident in myself. and im more confident in my sexual expression..the world needs to start resecting women

    23. Caitlin says:

      Thank you so much for this article.

      I personally don't discuss sex openly and am private about my love life, but I still think this article is 100% necessary.

      Also, as far as the "do it for YOU" argument is concerned; I don't understand how we're supposed to differentiate between people dressing provocatively for themselves versus for other people. It doesn't seem like it's our place to make that choice; I can't tell whether a girl has dressed in heels in order to satisfy herself, or in order to impress a guy–and frankly, I don't care. It's not my place. All I can do is not judge her; that's ALL WE NEED TO DO. This isn't a complicated issue–are we really still justifying women's reasons for choosing to dress a certain way? As if dressing revealingly is only OK if you reassure everyone that you're "doing it for yourself?" A woman should dress how she wants–for whatever reasons she has–without feeling like she needs to follow a set of criteria.

      The bottom line is–whether you hate sex, love sex, or love to dress up or down–is that the topic of sex is viewed in a more judgemental way surrounding women than it is men. And that's why this article is bomb. Thanks girlie.

    24. Tealtop1 says:

      wow! i thought this was a fake article because it sounded so stupid!! what do you mean ppl who have casual sex and constantly talk about sex aren't sluts? this society doesn't have a problem throwing the word slut around, they have a problem trying to find freaking boundries and drawing the line. Yes, crop tops are cute and red nails aren't whorish but when you throw all of these things together (crop top, mini skirt, stilettos, and big hair) you will have most of the quotas of LOOKING like a slut. And may I ask one question? If none of the things you named (casual sex, giving blow jobs, wearing skimpy clothes ect.) makes you a slut, them what the hell does?!!!! Paying people for sex is the typical way of visioning a whore, but soooo many other factors make you a whore/slut. Maybe you're just trying a LITTLE to hard to CONVINCE yourselves your not whores (for those who agreed w/ this girl) and are trying to bad mouth those who have humility, self respect,and MORALS!!

      1. allie says:

        i think she's trying to say that women are just as sexual as men, and to punish them for loving sex and wanting to have it is wrong. we must get rid of double standards they do more harm than good even to men who always seem to complain that they can't get laid. the thing is, if you get rid of the stigma of a girl loving sex and wanting to have it casual or not, then maybe (this may sound crazy) they will sleep with men more and not feel bad about it. of course you need to be careful, both parties included, because the more sexual partners you have the higher risk for contracting HPV or Herpes which you can get even with a condom. i believe both men and women are equal sexual beings and by calling a women who loves sex or is cool with her sexuality, aka getting and giving oral sex, sluts then it hurts all of us, men included. no girl wants to sleep with a guy who will degrade her later, or at least not a self respecting girl. i've been called a slut all because i'm cool with talking about sex, not because of the way i dress, which is seriously not even close to "slutty". just saying.

    25. allie says:

      i believe if a girl is at a club wanting to have a fun time, dress sexy other wise dress appropriately, its not only shows how professional you can be but its basic common sense for the real world. when you have a career you have a dress code its important to learn how to dress while you are in school that way it wont be such a bummer for you when you actually have to get a job or career. when you are at school i do not believe that a girl should wear booty shorts, thigh high stiletto boots and a long sweater with a pledging v neck, going out fine your there to have fun and be wild, at school not professional you are there to learn not to show off your body. saying all this though i do believe the words slut and whore should be abolished from vocabulary period, it doesn't help anybody and it makes the person saying it sound ignorant, like they couldn't come up with a real good reason to disagree with how a girl dresses.

      1. allie says:

        also would like to add that this rule doesn't just apply to girls, boys and men out there, this one's for you. i do not want to see your baggy pants and underwear you look like an idiot! pull your damn pants up PLEASE!!! i will not date a guy who does this, just saying!

    26. […] there’s been a lot of talk here on CollegeCandy lately about slut shaming, casual sex, and what exactly defines a girl as “whorey.” Instead of clearing all of that up […]

    27. joe says:

      All those losers who enjoy sloppy seconds should get a life. I despise women and players because they are all disgusting sluts. Who wants one? The hell with them.

    28. Horace Bigthorn says:

      I love sluts.

    29. […] like me and I would question my self-worth because I internalized some of the insanity our slut shamey culture propagates on a regular basis. I felt like I was leaving pieces of myself with guys I’d never […]

    30. Polly says:

      I really don't like these articles. I wish college candy would offer a different side, in fact I think I should write the editor and request it because this site should reflect all sides not just one. While I agree that the term Slut and such should not be used as indiscriminately as it has been I don't know how much I agree with everything else.

      It seems as if you want to influence society to change its perception of acceptability to coincide with yours. You want to be able to act as you please with out being labelled negatively. I disagree with this thinking. If you want to exercise your right to dress as you please someone else can exercise their right to judge you as they please….deal with it!

    31. […] to spread their legs, that’s their prerogative. As I’ve said before, I don’t find slut shaming to be acceptable in any […]

    32. Meghan S. says:

      If you don't shame sluts, how will they ever know their behavior is unacceptable? Shame is an important tool in maintaining order and standards of proper behavior in our society. Without shame, sluts would run wild and there would be sexual anarchy. Next thing you know, traditional marriage will disappear and all manner of perversions will be tolerated and forced upon decent women because the sluts lowered the bar for everyone. SHAME ON SLUTS! If feminists want to join the sluts in "solidarity" with their disgusting behavior, they should be shamed, too! God will judge us all!

      1. Sarah W. says:

        You're joking right?

    33. addelina says:

      I dont believe that having sex is what causes people to use the term slut. Its publicizing having sex. I hear the phrase, " What goes in between my legs is my business." But publicizing who you have slept with, to make sure people know who you screwed this the weekend, or because your tummy hurts because you swallowed so much cum this weekend (using a real reference, I swear) to make sure someone is paying attention to you, is unacceptable. That makes people feel uncomfortable, or it sets yourself up to be "played" when men think that you are easy and that of course if your decision, but I dont think that there is any room to complain about people talking about you if you made sure everyone knew about your "love life" Just dont kiss and tell. Than you dont have any problems.

    34. […] Time to stop slut shaming already — College Candy […]

    35. […] ashamed of our breasts and vaginas…the list could go on for ever.” Jasmine/College Candy: ”Can We Stop the Slut Shaming Now?” Bilden är ärligt stulen från webben Like this:GillaBli först att gilla denna post. Utforska […]

    36. Niall says:

      Believe whatever makes you feel good about yourself, if that's what you want.
      But bear in mind, some men just aren't attracted to the type of girl you're describing. It's not necessarily because these men are 'against' women or that they are infact sexist, but just that a 'loud' woman who 'doesn't give a fuck' isn't really attractive to them. Ironically, the men who do like these women will probably be those 'crappy, clueless, insensitive guys' you were on about.

      And yes, any part of this argument could apply to the reversed sex.

      .

    37. […] Can We Stop the Slut Shaming Now? (collegecandy.com) Rate this:Share this:PrintTwitterFacebookEmailMoreLinkedInDiggStumbleUponRedditTumblrLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. […]

    38. CallieVegan says:

      GOD. you all have completely missed the point. it doesnt matter whether or not you think being a "slut" is okay or not and it doesnt matter if there are measures that can be taken to no look like/ act like/ be perceived as a "slut". the whole idea is that REGARDLESS of all of these things women should not be shamed because of their sex life, the clothes they choose to wear, how they choose to act etc. WOMEN! WE ARE NOT HERE TO POLICE EACH OTHERS ACTIONS. we are of the same kind, for christ sake. why can't we all be on the same side rather than shaming each other into what we believe is good or not?

    39. Michael says:

      Dear Jasmine R.,

      Red nails.. Big hair… Short skirts? Oh look! It's another female straw-man article!

      You are only a slut based on one thing: Your partner count. That's all men care about. Of course you know this. That's why you lie as though your life depends on it.

      The slut shaming will NOT stop. You just don't want to be called on your behavior. But men don't want to marry rental cars. So, as the French say, we're at an impasse. Understand? Good.

      Sincerely Yours,

      – Twenty something man

    40. Nicole says:

      You people are unbelievable. Sluts do in fact deserve to be shamed. If you feel the need to shag every guy you come across just because you're "comfortable with your sexuality", you are a very low class, disgusting excuse for a human being, and you deserve all the sh*t that comes your way. It's one thing to be promiscuous with just one person (a boyfriend, spouse, or even a friend with benefits). But with tons of men at the same time? Then you're a useless whore with no self respect whatsoever, and you deserve to be deemed that. If you get slut shamed and you are in fact one, face the facts and get over it. You deserve that and you sure as hell don't deserve any respect.

    41. Nicole says:

      You people are unbelievable. I won't go into too much elaboration, but sluts do in fact deserve to be shamed. If you feel the need to shag every guy you come across just because you're "comfortable with your sexuality", you are a very low class, disgusting excuse for a human being, and you deserve all the criticism that comes your way. It's one thing to be promiscuous with just one person (a boyfriend, spouse, or even a friend with benefits). But with tons of men at the same time? Then you're a useless whore with no self respect whatsoever. I do believe people slut shame in a wrong manner (e.g. sending nudes does not make you a slut). But to the disgusting excuse for women who sleep around, there's nothing wrong with deeming them a slut, which is exactly what they are. Keep in mind that I also don't believe in the double standard

      1. John says:

        Woah, someone actually using the phrase "low class" seriously. Enjoy being another clone of meaningless values based in medieval times! Any historian worth their salt would laugh at you.

        "Keep in mind that I also don't believe in the double standard " Hahaha, too late, you've already proved that you're a judgmental shit just because other people told you to be so. Hopefully one day you will be capable of critical thinking.

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