Bedroom Lessons from Sex and the City

By Khalea

I spent way too much time in high school watching and rewatching Sex and the City. Unlike everything else on TV these women seemed so real, so fun, and so open to dropping major dough on brunch. Being young and impressionable, I assumed the fabulous foursome was living the life I’d live one day. Little did I know, freelance writers don’t own 50 pairs of Jimmy Choos and most women don’t have sexy men lining up outside their posh New York City pads.

Yeah, naive mind. totally. blown.

But now that the show is back on TV and I’m watching reruns daily, I realize that while Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda’s sex lives weren’t totally realistic, they can teach us a few important things about sex. So even though I  cringe at awkward love scenes on television and even though I made fun of the disaster that was the sequel, I’ve realized I can actually take a few tips from our four favorite girls on “Sex and the City.”

It’s not always good: Despite age and experience, everyone doesn’t get it right. Even the pros have off days. Charlotte’s perfect husband was impotent, Samantha loses her orgasm while Miranda had to fake them, and Carrie had issues with a guy who arrived too fast, too soon. Be prepared for disappointment if your imagined fireworks are more like sparks.

It’s not always romantic: You effing bitch, you effing whore! Definitely not your standard sweet nothings. Another sex myth I believed back in the day was that soft (or loud!) sweet words are whispered during intimate moments. But the SATC girls debunked that myth. Samantha found a man who was into baby talk, Miranda dated someone who talked too dirty, and Charlotte had a creep who called her some choice names while getting it on. After witnessing the failed foreplay, the soft sounds of Babyface on the iHome may be a better choice in the bedroom.

It’s not all pleasure: A little pain equals a lot of pleasure, right? Wrong. Sure, the middle school sex-education classes told us that sex does involve some pain, especially during your first time. Apparently it becomes less noticeable with more, umm…experience. After Samantha, the one with the most notches on her bedpost, found Mr. Too Big, the grand champ of getting it on felt the pain for days and days. And let’s not forget the thousands of needles that Charlotte poked herself with during fertility treatments. Hopefully the pain is worth it!

Wardrobe doesn’t matter: So much for that black, lace bustier you bought at Victoria’s Secret—when you were 13. Sexy lingerie may be fun to buy and wear, but it doesn’t make for great sex. Remember the furry slippers that Carrie purchased to woo Berger in bed? And the see-through negligee that Charlotte bought to get Trey’s sails up?  Lingerie alone clearly doesn’t get the job done. On some episodes, the girls wore plain t-shirts and boxers to bed—and those were their hottest nights ever.

Safe sex is the best sex: With all of the wild and crazy sexcapades the foursome had, they always made sure to use protection at all costs (most of the time). Even the Super-freak Samantha faced her fears and got tested for HIV. The fabulous four proved that no matter how hot your partner (Smith) or how many partners you have (Samantha), safe sex is the best sex.

What sexy lessons did SATC teach you?