The Weekly Ten: Predicting Celebrity Meltdowns
Okay. So by now we’re all aware of Charlie Sheen’s major meltdown. His in-house goddesses. His tiger blood. His reinvention of the word ‘winning.’ Charlie Sheen is having a major moment. He’s also having a major meltdown. And it’s newsworthy right now, but he’s also just the most recent celeb to meltdown in a long line of many.
Britney Spears. Lindsay Lohan (now simply known as ‘Lindsay’). Michael Jackson. Tom Cruise. There have been some pretty major meltdowns before Charlie and there will be some pretty major meltdowns after him. But who will be meltdowning? Well, I’m glad you asked. Because that’s just what this week’s Weekly Ten is trying to predict.
Let’s have a look.
10. Rebecca Black. Honestly, I barely even know who this girl is. But her name is all over Twitter and apparently she’s the new Justin Bieber? Or the most hated Tween in the world? Whatever. It’s only a matter of time before this young soon-to-be-celeb melts down.
9. PINK. She’s on here only because of a recent tweet she posted after Cristina was arrested. “Out of Myself, Britney and Christina — didn’t everyone think I was gonna be the troublemaker? LOOK MA!!! NO CUFFS!” Funny, Pink. Very Funny. I was amused. But don’t count your crazy chickens before they’ve hatched.
8. Justin Timberlake. Justin seems like a pretty stable guy. He’s funny, a decent actor, and a hell of a singer. But he’s also single for the first time in months. And having that many girls after him is bound to lead to a mental breakdown or two.
7. Taylor Swift. T.Swift plays the sweet and innocent card really, really well. But after her last album, we all know the deal. Those songs she writes in response to the boys that broke her heart? Her all out attack on Camilla Belle in “Better Than Revenge”? If something doesn’t go her way and she’s not set to release a new album anytime soon, you know it’s meltdown city.
6. Justin Bieber. He’s a young, successful, relatively cute teen heartthrob dating another young, successful, relatively cute teen heartthrob. This can only end one way.
5. Jennifer Aniston. This poor girl just can’t seem to keep a boyfriend. Brad Pitt. Vince Vaughn. John Mayer. There’s only so many bad movies and bad relationships a girl can take before she starts to break down. I know she cut her hair recently, but let’s hope she doesn’t pull a Britney anytime soon, you know?
4. Ronnie. It’s coming. And it’s fueled by protein powder and Jager. Watch out, Seaside!
3. Usher. Apparently there’s a sex tape going around of Usher and his ex-wife. And apparently the release of such a sex tape may or may not lead to some very unflattering realizations about Usher. If that doesn’t lead to a meltdown, what will?
2. Brad Womack. Here’s the thing. I’ve never been a fan of this guy to begin with. And not because he crushed poor Deanna’s heart; mostly because he has no personality whatsoever and is a really big bore. But even I had hope that maybe, just maybe, he had found love. That is until sweet little Emily tore his heart out. Then I felt bad for him. And now, well, now I’m wondering when exactly Brad is going to snap. Or, as his family puts it, when we’ll all “wake the bear.”
1. Miley Cyrus. Miley’s meltdown is a long time coming. We’ve been waiting for it ever since her Disney days of Hannah Montana. We’ve had scandalous photo shoots, scantily clad outfits, mouthing off to the media, and now parental alienation. Miley is one bad romantic relationship away from a meltdown. And I think we’re all just waiting for it to happen.