Why Feminism Works For Me

I wear push-up bras and high heels. I go gaga for lip gloss and lipstick, nail polish, and heavy eye-make up . And I’m not even going to lie, I’m a sucker for pouty boys that call me ma’am. But besides my affinity for sundresses, pearls, and men in ties, I’m a feminist. In fact, I’ve always considered myself to be one. But despite my own declaration in the fight for gender equality, this doesn’t seem possible to people.

“How can you be a feminist?” I’m asked all the time. “Do you even know what that means?”

While feminism can mean different things to different people, I’ve often felt like I didn’t fit the mold — like I wasn’t the ideal. Like I couldn’t claim it. And then it hit me: Feminism can be whatever you need it to be. And sometimes, what you need it to be will change from time to time.

This powerful realization hit me as an 18-year-old young woman sitting in on my first Women’s Studies class at a small, private, all-women university. This moment of feminist clarity has always stuck with me, and now as a 23-year-old post-grad, I am constantly revisiting feminism and its applicability in my ever changing life. Although feminism, even in 2011, often still sounds like a dirty word with a negative connotation, I’m constantly surprised at the way feminism finds itself in my day to day life — it really does come in all shapes, sizes, issues, prospects, and in all kinds of different people. And despite being so diverse and so varying from time to time, I’m still relieved that I can make feminism something all my own.

I like to think that I’ve been a feminist from the beginning. When I was seven years old, wearing overalls and pigtails, I remember raising my hand over and over again in class to answer the questions being asked by my teacher. I’d sit up as straight as possible and inch my hand higher and higher into the sky. I had something to say. I wanted to be heard. But instead, the boys in my class would always be the first called on. I would often come home and cry. “My teacher doesn’t like the girls, she doesn’t listen to us like she does the boys.” At the time, I didn’t have the words for it, but I knew it wasn’t fair. Instead of sitting back and taking it, though, I went with my parents to the annual parent-teacher conference and asked my teacher, “Why do you only call on the boys?” She didn’t have an answer, but from that point on she never overlooked my eager hand. This made me realize that sometimes speaking up can make a world of difference, and I like to think of this as my first moment of personal activism.

In high school, I refused to participate in the abstinence only sex-education program. I may have been sixteen, but I couldn’t sit there without throwing up my hand. “What about condoms? What about STDS? What about things that will actually prevent pregnancy and keep us safe?” I was silenced and shushed, but it lit the fire in me — a fire that came alive the minute I stepped foot onto my college campus. In college, I was always changing as a feminist — always.

There was the year I spent reading nothing but feminist literature; everything from Helen Cixous to Katha Pollit, Gloria Steinem to Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards, and Bell Hooks to Ingrid Musico. There was the summer I spent interning for two of my favorite feminist authors in New York City. There was the year I ran the speakers’ bureau chair on campus and hosted the transgendered performance artist Kate Bornstein and the quick-witted blogger and author Jessica Valenti. There was the year I rejected all Women’s Studies classes — after I was told that I didn’t look feminist enough — and just spent time focusing on defining my gender and social beliefs through my own lens, even if that means sparkly pink nail polish and writing letters to my congressman by myself.

There were so many feminist discoveries throughout the last few years. Like the time I posed nude as Miss January 2009 for a feminist charity calendar. And there was the time I sold carrot cake cupcakes for a Wage Gap bake sale that charged men $1 and women only 72 cents. There were times when I was tired of talking about feminism and women’s issues, but at a women’s college it was inevitable. And then there were times when I couldn’t get enough and I didn’t understand why there wasn’t room for discussion about this in a quantitative reasoning class. Sometimes I would feel like a super feminist, and other times, not so much. Some days, feminism would be on my mind. And of course, some days, it won’t even cross my thoughts.

And while this fickle romance of always trying to work towards what I believe in isn’t perfect, it’s my journey. It’s ever-changing, but it’s exactly what I need it to be — when I need it to be. Feminism fascinates me in the way it’s solid but fleeting in my life. For example, my beliefs on abortion, breaking the glass ceiling, sexual assault, women’s education, contraceptives and abstinence-only education haven’t changed throughout the years, but how I apply feminism into my day-to-day life, whether it’s a job or in a romantic relationship, is constantly changing and evolving.

I’m not a perfect feminist (is anyone, really?), and I’m never claiming to be, but this is how it works for me. Some days, I’m ready with an iron-fist to protest and shout…in my heels and lipstick. And some days, I’m quiet and passive and just want to think about what Bell Hooks truly meant in Communion. But I personally want this feminist juxtaposition; the constant reminder that feminism is here, it’s mine, and it’s something I can always make my own just clicks for me, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

[Check out the Feminist Portrait Blog Carnival to read other women’s inspiring stories of their feminist “click” moments.]



    1. Rachel says:

      Thank you for posting this.
      It's time we showed more people that feminists AREN'T hairy, fat, man-hating, lesbians.

      1. Charlsie - Hollins University says:

        I do think that the image is always so negative. I know so many different women and no one ever truly fits this kind of description that 'feminist' is attached to. Thank you for your comment! xo

      2. Feminism means understanding that being fat, hairy, ugly, or lesbian should not render a person invisible in this world, and that people have value not based on heterosexual male opinion of their fuckability.

        PS Lesbians focus less on hating men and more on loving women. Lesbian does not equal misandrist.

      3. :-) says:

        right on, heidi

    2. Hannah says:

      LOVE this article!

      1. Charlsie - Hollins University says:

        Thanks for the comment. I loved writing it and sharing it. xo

    3. Ashley says:

      This is a wonderful article! Thank you for writing it.

      1. Charlsie - Hollins University says:

        Thanks for the comment, it's much appreciated!

    4. true feminist says:

      In the same way others have asked you if you even know what a feminist is, I have to wonder the same thing. You do not define feminism even once. All you say is that you ask questions about things directly relavent to your own life. This is the most selfish type of feminism. Feminism is about making issues known, especially when people affected can't speak for themselves.

      Do you know why bell hooks kept her name in lowercase letters? It was because she wanted people to focus on her ideas, not her identity. You seem to be the opposite. For you, feminism is based on your identity, and no true oppression. Your "feminism" is a subject created by white, privileged, college-educated women for white, privileged, college-educated women. Any subject that exclusive is certainly not worth studying.

      Feminism is not about posing nude for a calendar. Feminism is not about becoming a CEO as Betty Friedan may have you believe. Feminism is not about your minute personal struggles or your identity as a single person. It is about acknowledging the true oppression that exists in the world, such as abuse, rape, and systemic poverty, and giving it rise to a voice against it. Feminism means changing the world around you with a collective voice, not this self-centered whine of classroom politics or sexual education.

      1. Claudia says:

        I have to disagree – the entire point of this article is to say that feminism can have multiple meanings for multiple people – there is no one true definitive feminism. We have to move beyond that idea if we are to strive for any kind of collective voice, and stop tearing down those who are on a search for personal meaning within feminism.

        Well said, by the way. I think your article reflects the way our generation feels about feminism.

      2. Charlsie - Hollins University says:

        So true — we have to move beyond the one kind of feminist perspective that so many people seem to have. This is why the concept of feminisms is so interesting to me — it's entirely more open and all-encompassing, and I think any movement needs to be approached like that instead of on a one-track mind.

      3. ChrisD says:

        Something that can have any meaning that a person wants has no meaning at all.

      4. Megan says:

        First of all anyone who calls themselves "true feminist" is seriously narcissistic; I'm not sure if you're trying to play a game of "who's the better feminist", but it smacks of power tripping.

        Also, why should she define what feminism is? Whilst it has a basis of ideas surrounding equal rights and social equality, it can mean different things to different people, which is great because it becomes a more inclusive idea rather than something people feel alienated towards because its definition feels so rigid. And why should relating it to one's own life make it a "selfish type of feminism"? It affects your daily experiences and the way you see the world completely, so how is it selfish to mention these things? She's not saying this is what feminism should mean to everyone, she's not saying this is how a feminist should act, and she mentions fundraising and writing to congressmen. I think you're clutching at straws right now.

        Granted yes, the bell hooks thing was a slip up, but jeez I highly doubt she's campaigning for Greatest Feminist Ever, Ever, so cut her some slack! And how dare you suggest that any type of feminism is more valid than another! Feminism is a concept open to ANYONE, there are no class, racial, educational or even gender boundaries that make any form of feminism "not worth studying". In case you haven't noticed, oppression exists everywhere, it transcends all class so someones experience with it can be just as valid as anothers.

        And feminism can be about whatever you want it to be, it can mean anything you want it to. It has to start from somewhere. Personal struggles, collective campaigning; they are as important as each other because they feed into each other. Your identity will affect other people, so you can't give importance to just one.

        It's really sad to see a person so quick to completely tear down someone's opinion because they don't conform to your high standards, we should be encouraging each other, not engaging in pathetic nit-picking and mud slinging. You call yourself a "true feminist", you should start acting like one.

      5. Anon says:

        What feminism is to me is a women leaving the kitchen to give me a sandwich. Am i right ladies?

      6. Nottooffend! says:

        Actually, it would have really raised the quality of this piece to describe what her definition of 'feminism' means. Just a technical thing. If you're covering such a controversial subject, it is best to spell it out clearly for everyone. Not just give one side of it.

        and aren't you doing the same thing? True Feminist is just saying what they believes feminism is, why are hatin'?

      7. Charlsie - Hollins University says:

        Interesting you say that feminism is a collective voice because I certainly don't think you exemplify that based on your comment. Not only is it elitist, but it is full of assumptions.

        This piece has nothing to do with what a feminist is or what feminism collectively is defined as. It's about the constant 'aha' moments along the way. There is no need to rehash what feminism is and what it should be defined as because the more you do that, the more oppressive you make it — especially when you set boundaries the way you did throughout your comment.

      8. true feminist says:

        I am not making feminism "more oppressive" through creating boundaries. Oppression is when there is truly no way to overcome obstacles and change a situation. And yes, I see that you want to make this open-ended and accessible, except the situation that I see myself and most college-educated women (which likely includes you, Charlsie) in is not oppressive.

        For example, as a pre-med woman, there will probably be at least one man that tells me that I can't become a doctor in my life. But that doesn't actually mean I can't become a doctor, right? I'm not really being "oppressed" because, as long as I do the work exceptionally well, I will still be accepted into a medical school. That kind of extreme bigotry is a minority.

        So if I came off as elitist or narcissistic, as many have commented, I didn't mean to. What I meant was essentially this: The point of words is to have definitions, otherwise they serve no purpose. If feminism is about fighting the oppression of women, we've already won the some of the biggest battles (voting, having jobs and education, etc.). Right now, we should be taking a look around and see women who are truly and immediately oppressed and fight for them.

      9. ChrisD says:

        The entire point of this article is that it and feminism have become pointless and irrelevant. This statement sums it up:

        "While feminism can mean different things to different people."

        If it means different things to different people – hence, the disagreement over what it means – then feminism means nothing and its only recent accomplishments are increasing the anti-male societal trends.

    5. […] What’s it like to be a feminist in college these days – CollegeCandy […]

    6. […] Why Feminism Works For Me ( […]

    7. Marisa says:

      I am growing tired of this new feminism. Yes there are still many issues that women still must face every day, issues that need to be solved. We might still be subject to discrimination at times but the real feminists have paved the way pretty nicely for us women. Their radicalism created a better world for us. Those women are the real feminists, the heroes. Many women I hear declaring themselves to be feminists are no such thing. I am tired of seeing men in the media portrayed as being idiots and neanderthal-like. When will we realize that putting down a different group than ourselves does not make us equal? Bottom line: if we keep trying to prove we are equal, we never will be.

      1. archefemme says:

        Most of the feminists I know would argue that the portrayal of men as stupid and "neanderthal-like" is inherently opposite of their agenda. Men don't need to be idiots for women to be smart.

    8. Lee says:

      I think the element of class is rarely discussed by feminists. Many years ago a working class female friend who considered herself to be a feminist stated that in her own personal experience, feminism, rather than meaning she could have and do whatever she wanted, and be whoever she wanted to be, in truth meant she had to do everything…run the house, look after the kids, do a low-paid unfulfilling job and always look fresh, glamorous and contented.

    9. Eimear says:

      I think if people put half as much effort into making things more equal between men and women, than declaring themselves feminist and saying men are evil, we might actually get somewhere. Old feminists, yes they have done wondrous things for women, I can never deny that. But degrading men and thinking we are without fault, well I think it's just as bad as the men not giving us any rights years ago.

      1. SLW says:

        Where does she put down men?

      2. studentzen says:

        I never said she personally put down men. I'm saying that the majority of new age feminists bullshit on about how men are evil, which is completely defeating the purpose. I would believe myself to be a feminist, but a mild one at that. I don't believe men are evil, but I don't believe women should look for equal rights, simply because if we have equal rights, we have equal responsibilities too. And women are generally (not always) the ones left caring for children, cooking, cleaning and working a full time job. I don't mind women being responsible for cooking and cleaning, as long as the men are responsible for maintenance and finances or something like that. What I mind is women expecting equal rights when they don't think about what also comes with it. If you wanted to get technical about it then women should get 3 days maternity leave and then the rest is unpaid sick leave, which is what happens for the fathers. Because equal rights mean equal responsibilities. It just bugs me that a lot of feminist campaigners for equal rights are the ones that have no responsibilities in the first place. They're not the ones working a full time job, and caring for children. Fairer rights are what should be demanded. Not equal. Equal pay for the same work done yes, but not the same end of day salary if a woman leaves at 3 to collect her kids while the man stays till 5. That's just ridiculous.

      3. Betty says:

        Women get more than three days leave after giving birth because their bodies need time to recover from the physical toll childbirth and pregnancy takes, not to mention the psychological impacts (hormonal), none of which men experience. Obviously, men and women have different biology, and to (hypothetically) penalize women for this would be ludicrous. "I don't believe women should look for equal rights." What an archaic, close-minded view. Why bother even commenting on an article celebrating feminism if you don't think women should be equal.

      4. studentzen says:

        What's close minded is replying to a comment when you obviously haven't read the entire thing. So you believe women should get equal rights and equal responsibilities? Even though women are generally the ones in charge of childcare and the domestic side. So you want to add more pressure to women's lives on top of what most already have? Nowhere in that reply did I say I think women should not be equal to men. I said our rights should not be equal, they should be fairer. How about you get married and have children, then demand equal rights. When they are given to you, try do all the responsibilities that come with the rights, as well as child-minding and domesticity. We'll then see how fast you burn out because it's physically not possible to do all those things without something giving, and generally it will be your health. Then come back and argue with me about equal rights.

      5. Sandra says:

        I would be willing to bet that Betty and SLW would both be of the mind that equality amongst the genders means that parents take equal responsibility for child-rearing and home-keeping. So, there will be plenty of time for all those equal rights things because the weight of all that darn responsibility won't be so heavy and those little ladies can probably hack it, then.

    10. criolle johnny says:

      hmmm, "charged men $1 and women only 72 cents". Did you also leave work at 3:00 to "pick up the kids", while the men worked until 5:00? Did you also refuse to work weekends for the same reason? Were YOU available for trips out of town?
      Seventeen people are killed on the job every week in the United States every week. Sixteen are men. Are you looking for equality in that statistic?
      There are fourteen federal programs for women's health. There are none for men.
      Pardon me while I man up, I'm feeling bitter today, a woman hurt me a long time ago.

      1. SLW says:

        You need to get over your whining. I work 40 hours a week with no sick leave and no vacation and I have a college degree in Finance from a public university. If I did make the choice to have kids I would have an actual full time job on top of a "real" job. Have you ever even babysat a child for more than 4 hours? For more than a day? Children are more emotionally draining and demanding than any job you will ever work!

        Men choose these high risk jobs. No one is forcing them to work them.

        Do I qualify for any of these women programs? Oh yes, but only one through Planned Parenthood so I could afford birth control during college to prevent the men I sleep with from paying child support for the rest of their lives. So, I suppose men benefit from these programs in a way, don't they?

      2. SLW says:

        According to the World Health Organization, 529,000 women die from childbirth every year world wide

        The figures in the US are around 13 women die per 1,000 live births.… This figure is from 2007, and even though they admit it is higher than usual, with 4.3 million births annually, it leads to 559 deaths related directly from childbirth, or 10.75 people a week.

    11. two words. Susan Brownmiller.

    12. Ashleigh says:

      I'm not sure why everyone's hating on this article. I guess I'm not a "TRUE feminist" but feminism isn't only about big issues, it is also about things that affect your everyday life.

      Also…where does the author demonstrate being a "man-hater?"

      This article was great. I appreciate someone bringing attention to feminism. Funny how the "true" feminists feel the need to keep all the feminism to themselves…

      1. Branden says:

        I'm not hating on anyone here but the article was really upsetting to me because the author speaks about equality, but then talks about participating in a bake sale where men are charged more than women. How is that advocating equality? All that is doing is shifting the inequlity on another gender. I can't believe how wrong that is! How would you all feel if you went to Target or some other store and a price tag on an item read, "$20 for men, $30 for women." If that isn't inequality at its best, than I don't know what else is. If creating equality was the goal, then equal prices should have been set. An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.

      2. Elle says:

        Er, I'm pretty sure that was an exercise used to raise awareness of pay inequality. Essentially, women already pay a higher price than men because the average woman pays a higher percentage of her wages than the average man toward the same dollar value of goods. I doubt the people who put on the bake sale were suggesting having separate prices for either gender was a possible solution. More like declaring a one-off "opposite day" to make people think.

    13. PrettyinPink says:

      Why do women think that just because they are fighting for equality (in whatever sense) should be called feminism. Why can it not be called rights every person should ever regardless of their gender aka inalienable rights?

      While discrimination still happens and will continue to happen for as long as we have the choice to choose what is right and what is wrong. That's the real world, it doesn't make it right but it still is true.

      Men and women were created equal in the sense that we both have the same inalienable rights but are different. Do I think women should get paid the same amount as a man that does the same job? Yes. Do I believe women should be able to partake in hand to hand combat? No. Does that make me a bad person? No, it makes me a realist. Do I believe a woman should get more time off for pregnancy than a man does? Yes. I believe a woman should have the same opportunities as a man does.

      But, If women keep saying they want to be treated completely equal to men in every sense then they will be miserable. Being a woman and a man should have its perks. They keep saying the feminist movement has taken a huge step backwards because women want to be a stay at home mother and wife. What is so wrong with that. It is their choice.

      Anyway the author makes a few good points but somethings I don't see as feminism anymore. I see it as rights that every person has as a human being.

      1. archefemme says:

        Being a feminist means supporting women in making decisions about their own lives. So, if you aren't supportive of women who want to fight in hand-to-hand combat, then don't turn around and say that you believe women should have the same opportunities as men. Obviously, they can't both be true. Supporting women who want to be stay-at-home mothers and wives is central to any solid feminist theory.

      2. PrettyinPink says:

        Just because I believe that women should have the same opportunities as men and that I don't support women going into hand to hand combat, that doesn't mean i can't believe in both. I will support the women who choose to go into that field though (if they allow it). I know it sounds contradicting but I believe that women are not as safe as men are in the front line.

        Women and children are an enemies first target. So why would give a woman a death sentence by sending them to the front line? Also, most women do not have what it takes to be a hand to hand combatant, as sexiest as that sounds it is true. But, if a woman can endure it and is strong enough to go to the front line then they should allow her. It doesn't mean i support it but it is her choice and i will support her.

        Sorry if it sounds confusing.

      3. ChrisD says:

        Because feminism is not about equality at all, it is only about advancing women and girls. If men's and boy's rights suffer, so be it. That's feminism.

    14. Mia says:

      I think the bigger question to be asked is: Why are people so fearful of the words "feminist" and "feminism"? Yes, the previous generation of feminists have paved the way for many of the rights women have today. But, that doesn't mean the fight is over. New issues continue to arise and old issues still weight importance in society. There are a lot of issues that many people don't see as problems but are, that still need addressing.

      BTW, I'm so jealous you got an internship with Jessica Valenti. I love her and her books!!!

      1. ChrisD says:

        Because it is anti-male and dishonest in its quest for equality. Also, most women prefer to be treated like ladies, not equal to men as feminism requires.

    15. Lisa says:

      bell hooks shouldn't be capitalized. She doesn't capitalize her name to protest patriarchy.

    16. kathy says:

      im not a feminist… i'm an egalitarian.
      i'm growing weary of so-called feminists. today, it seems that most feminists try to blame most of female oppression on men, which is sort of ridiculous.
      and also, it's not just women who are marginalized. men are too.
      in reality, anyone who is a subordinate in terms of gender, class, race, and sexual orientation are marginalized groups and we should be working to promote their equality and better things for them. not just women.

    17. Beth says:

      Feminism is the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men. That's it. It's not about degrading or hating on men, it's just a simple belief in equality. And whilst people like "true feminist" seem to think there's a right way and a wrong way to go about achieving that, so long as that is what you're aiming for I don't see how anyone can call you anything other than a feminist.

      1. ChrisD says:

        Feminism is about advancing women and girls, but it is not about equality at all – which is one reason why the anti-male, misandrist sentiment is so high within the movement.

    18. Julie says:

      I really appreciate you writing this. Lately, I've fought being defined as a feminist because of the, sometimes negative, connotations that go along with it. I've had difficulty situating myself within my social moment and explaining to others why I'm so liberal about some things, and traditional and conservative about others. This article has helped me come to terms with the fact that I can define myself as feminist without being molded to be a certain thing.

      1. ChrisD says:

        If so, then I too am a feminist and believe that men should be the head of the household, not boss, head.

    19. Casey says:

      I don't care what a person does as long as they're mentally, physically, and emotionally capable of doing it.

      1. Melissa says:

        you dont care what a person does as long as they're capable of doing it?……..
        thats a weird thing to say….. so like you're okay with a murderer as long as he is able to do so…?

    20. Lenny says:

      Hmmm… I have mixed views about this article. While I do admire your modern interpretation of a feminist, and the small ways in which you take time out of your life to actively campaign for womens' rights, I must agree with some (but not all) of true feminist's statements; in that feminism, while being just what you interpret it to be; is still a lot bigger than one person's actions. The things you do are great, and they all contribute to the feminist cause, but I don't think that you can just center all your reasons for calling yourself a feminist on a nude calendar and some cupcake fundraising. Perhaps you should redefine this article to not what your interpretation of feminism is, but the small steps you make in the pursuit of true feminism.

      1. Lenny says:

        Also, you seem to slightly define your article by the fact that you can be defined as both "girly" and a feminist, when feminists should not have to make such a distinction. A person is a feminist because they believe that women should have equal rights to men, regardless of their appearance or what they wear. They want people to acknowledge that men and women should be treated equally, DESPITE their differences. So the fact that you were high heels and pink nailpolish is completely irrelevant to your cause, and in fact kind of argues against your case- you are defining yourself by what you look like, when that is precisely what feminists are fighting against. They want people to accept the differences between the sexes and come to the realisation that these are in fact irrelevant in the larger scale of things. The fact that you were ready with an iron fist to fight for equality is enough for me, I didn't need the bit about you wearing heels or lipstick. You can wear a micro-mini skirt and a corset for all I care. (Well, ok, maybe not a corset as that was like THE symbol of oppression for women in the past). My point is, when a feminist marches, no one looks at what they're wearing on their feet.

      2. Lenny says:

        ^Though now that I re-read the article; was that, perhaps, the entire point you were trying to make? lol.

    21. Jmacsays says:

      This made my day. Thank you for posting it. I too tire of people reacting to my telling them I'm a feminist as if I've casually admitted to habitual infanticide. There is no one perfect definition of feminism. You're not "selfish" for describing how it impacts your personal life. Your female experiences are the ones you know best! Now, I don't mean to say that anyone should remain ignorant about how gender might impact women of different racial, cultural, or economic backgrounds, but don't let these "true feminists" get you down for writing what you know. After all, this is a blog, not a thesis paper. I think this was an accurate portrayal of the 20-something feminist's struggle to uphold her beliefs in a world sexism, the education system, and even fellow feminists are cutting her down.

    22. BossDawg says:

      the way i see it feminism is bollocks, women in the workplace should be there to create sales on male impulse, because were the ones with the wallets and the money. you just borrow it off us for shoes and groceries

    23. caroline says:

      what a load of bullshit

    24. Melissa says:

      Also, it sounds like the author hardly knows what feminism means. (Had she just inserted her own definition of it, that would've helped her argument-but not even that could have saved it.) For example, you keep saying how wearing pink nail polish and high heels is the opposition of feminism and that wearing overalls and pigtails as a kid makes you a tomboy. That mindset is the very basis to society's sexism: i.e. men dress one way, women dress another; feminists dress one way, sexists dress another.
      This article misses the whole point of feminism, or one's journey to discovering it. She mentions pink nail polish more than she does rape, or unequal salaries, or media's sexual oppression.
      She goes on to mention working with feminist authors and artists, yet doesn't explain their significance on her. (More name dropping?) She says she sold cupcakes to men for a dollar and to woman for 72 cents, without even explaining the meaning behind it. She says how she didn't understand the abstinence policy in her sex education class-yet doesn't connect it at all with how it relates to feminism (and how it controls and embarrasses women, and punishes them for being sexual.)

    25. Melissa says:

      This article claims to be about feminism, yet doesn't even use the word sexism once.
      Just the fact that the article starts out with the sentence "I wear push-up bras and high heels" in order to somehow prove a point probably has Susan B. Anthony rolling over in her grave.
      It completely dumbs down, generalizes and makes light of this very serious issue. It has the sentence variety, evidentiary support, anecdote, development and organization of a high school freshman's paper. I just think that this subject deserves more thought, perspective and maturity than that. Sexism is the dark underbelly that is embedded in every person’s psyche , male and female, since birth even when they don't realize it. It can be very complex and frightening. Feminism is the fight against such atrocities and such inequality. This analysis hardly recognizes what it's even talking about.

    26. Melissa says:

      "feminism is here, it’s mine, and it’s something I can always make my own just clicks for me"

      noo you cannot just MAKE IT YOUR OWN. IT IS NOT YOURS. you do not own the term, nor the concept in any shape or form. What does this even mean???! what a stupid thing to say! you should not be allowed anywhere near the term feminism because you clearly lack any basic knowledge about it. I am embaressed of and for you.

    27. […] was liberating! Freeing! My first ever feminist moment. Or my first ever realization that at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter what sort […]

    28. Haleigh says:

      Okay everyone, let’s be honest. When I think of a feminist I think of a bitchy, immature girl, burning her bra and refusing makeup or anything that is accepted as a norm for females and claiming to be fighting inequalities that don’t exist and blaming men for their problems. I am thrilled as a young and highly impressionable teenage girl that this author has exposed that you can still believe that you have the same human rights as a male and also enjoy what some believe to be shallow perks of femininity. And why do feminism and femininity have to be such contrasting ideals? They are both about being a woman and proud. I am a woman so who says I can’t look good while I stand up for myself in political, social and economic issues? I agree with the author and I believe that she didnt define feminism because it truly is different for everyone. Obviously! Look at all the contrasting opinions in the comments. Open your mind and allow other women to be themselves and strong. Putting men down(let’s face it, society does this all the time in commercials, movies, and tv shows) or putting down other women because they are enjoying their human right to superficial pleasures will only make you a bitter old woman with no one but her cats to bitch to. I hope you think about it.

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