
Ask Tuffy Luv. You know, unless you’re scared or something. TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com
Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’m a sophomore in college and I’ve recently started, um, “seeing” this guy. I don’t use “seeing” to coyly imply hooking up. What I mean is, we’ve been going on sort-of dates for the last three weeks and I have NO idea where we are.
Let me back up. The guy, who we’ll call Hunter, plays on the same intramural team as me, and I met him riiiight at the very very end of spring semester last year, where we hit it off, but then parted ways for the summer. I’ve had a mild crush on him since then, but never really had an opportunity to spend time with him since then. Then this semester, I started spending more time partying in his suite, because I’m really good buddies with one of his suite-mates. We always end up gravitating toward each other at these parties and spending hours talking one on one – over all the music and everything. We came up with this goofy plan to line up on opposite ends of campus and race to the middle for a running high five and then get coffee on Monday. Which we did, and it was awesome, and we talked for hours.
So I asked him to a movie… and he said no. That he was busy. Enter, my confusion and insecurity. But that weekend, at yet another party, we ended up staying up until 4 AM, long after the party was over, talking. And he asked me to dinner. So last week, we had dinner after practice — like, sober! Again! It wasn’t just drunken happenstance, we had TWO daytime hang outs over food. And he said we should do it again. And then our team had a cabin trip, and I was kind of hoping something would happen there, but the cabin was so small and full of people it would have been awkward, so we just kind of held hands a little bit and talked more, and he gave me his shirt to keep warm.
So now we have another date and I’m totally at a loss. Hunter is a really smart, funny, gorgeous guy who I’m really into, but I also know that he has never had a girlfriend. And that he’s not the type to make moves, ever, which is part of why he hasn’t had a girlfriend. And it’s not because he’s a player, because he doesn’t fool around with girls either. So do I ask him? How do I even broach the subject without sounding like a crazy person? Am I totally crazy and reading into everything way too much right now? I mean, he asked me to dinner, right? How do I go from sitting around a table talking to kissing/watching movies/snuggling/all the good stuff?
-Afraid of the Friend Zone
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