It’s a Friday morning. Your alarm goes off for the tenth time. You look at the clock and realize you’ve hit the snooze button well into the first five minutes of your ever dreaded Friday morning class, which you’re only taking because it was the only thing open when you were finally able to register. You grab your shoes and your books, spend ten minutes in line for coffee — because, yeah, it’s necessary — and finally sneak into a seat at the back of the class just in time to hear your professor ask that you send your assignments forward.
Assignments? What assignments? You think, you think, you flip threw your notes, and then finally, in the bottom corner of the page next to your sunflower doodle is your homework assignment. The one you totally didn’t do. Now what? Well, now you need a way to get out of handing it in today. Now you need an extension. Now you need a really good excuse.
So be sure not to use one of these…
1. The dog ate it. The oldest excuse in the book. Teachers can see this one coming from a mile away. But it’s particularly difficult to pull off in college because more likely than not, you’re not allowed to have pets in the dorm rooms. So even if your professor does, on the slimmest of chances, believe you then you’ll be dealing with some much bigger issues.
2. My printer stopped working. Back in my high school days, I’ve actually seen this one work a few times. It’s plausible, direct, and clearly implies that the homework is done, but you just couldn’t get that paper printed in time. But that was all before the entire world went online. Now, not only would you have been able to send it to a friend to print, but you could also send it directly to the teacher. And they will ask you to — believe me, they will ask you to.
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Every girl needs a good purse (or 12). Whether you’re going for groceries or running from class to class, they are simply essential for holding all your, uh, essentials. Each week, I’m going to show you a fashionable, yet functional purse for the college crowd and let you know why you absolutely need it! I apologize ahead of time to your bank account.
Since my last few picks have been “higher end,” I decided to stick to a budget this week! (I’m doing this as much for myself as I am for all of you. Trust me.)
ALDO is a company founded in the ’70s in Montreal, Quebec, Canada (represent!) by Aldo Bensadoun. In 1993, ALDO skipped across the border and joined my friends in the United States, designing fashionable, affordable shoes before expanding to handbags and other accessories. ALDO is now a giant, international corporation with over 1,000 stores in 160 countries!
The Decourcey is an example of what ALDO does best: takes a classic and put their own spin on it. In this case, they’re elaborating on the classic black, quilted handbag with a chain strap. Made of 100% synthetic material with a semi-matte finish, this bag won’t run your bank account into the ground (like a Marc Jacobs or, gasp, Chanel), but will give you major style points. Like I said, the front is quilted, but the back is solid black. The bag has no obvious front side, so you could wear it either way, making it even more versatile.The chain straps are silver-toned and go with everything you could imagine. Seriously, this bag would look great with a chic leather jacket or a dainty sundress! Read More »
The first time I ever watched porn was completely by accident. I think I watched a movie, fell asleep, and woke up to people doin’ it. I was curious, but mostly disinterested, so I just turned it off and walked away.
Since then, my experiences with porn have varied. There’s been a lot of nights sitting around drinking with friends and watching the weirdest videos we can find, but there have also been times when I’ve used porn as a tool — just like everyone else does — without putting much thought into the people performing or directing the movies. That was until I saw some videos that completely freaked me out.
The videos were part of a documentary about a hardcore porn director who was raping and sexually assaulting his actresses during “casting calls,” and then manipulating and guilting them into performing by telling them they were being “difficult,” “uncooperative,” and “unprofessional.” My head nearly exploded and my heart nearly broke for these women — I don’t care if they are porn stars, they still have a right to say no, and they certainly shouldn’t be coerced into performances they’re uncomfortable with.
But the thing is — how do you know when actors are performing out of their own volition and not being forced to do something they don’t want to do? Is there a way to know? I enjoy porn as much as the next person, but I’m certainly not okay with watching someone being exploited or abused.
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A few summers ago I confided in my brother that I wanted to get a tattoo.
“That’s really permanent,” he told me. “How would you feel if you got the Backstreet Boys tattooed on your ankle when you were obsessed with them in middle school?”
I actually wouldn’t mind, which is probably a larger issue, but I understood his point. Tattoos are forever (and if they’re not, they are even more painful to get off than they are to put on), so if you want to get one, it’s gotta be something meaningful. Something you love now and will love until the day you die. Something that isn’t trendy, isn’t something you’ll get sick of, and isn’t something that’s gonna stretch and sag as you get older.
Now, it only this guy had talked to my brother….
Dear Dude,
I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month, roughly. He takes me out on actual dates, always wants to hang out, and is fun to talk to. Basically, I’m pretty sure that he’s into me. The problem is that the few times that we’ve had sex, he hasn’t finished. We’ll go at it for over an hour and although I’ve enjoyed myself, he won’t orgasm at all! He always initiates sex and says he enjoys spending time with me, but if he’s sexually attracted to me, then why can’t he finish? Could it be that I’m really bad in bed? That he isn’t sexually attracted to me? It’s an awkward subject to bring up and I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I don’t know how to handle it.
Sincerely,
-Can’t Get Him Off 
\t\t\t\t\t
When we think of social media sites, we think of one thing: Facebook. It’s where we post out status updates, where we post our pictures, and where we have obnoxiously long, unnecessary commenting wars with our BFFs. It’s the perfect way to stay in touch, and the perfect way to procrastinate. In our eyes, it’s perfect. (Despite its many, many issues with privacy settings.)
But I’ve got news for you ladies. Facebook is not the only social media site out there. And, no, I’m not just talking about MySpace of Friendster, those sites you haven’t visited since junior high. I’m talking about up and coming, entertaining, totally worth your time, social media sites. These are my top five picks.
1. Twitter. Every girl should be on Twitter. And you don’t even have to Tweet to make it worth your while; you just have to follow. Follow who? Anyone from Charlie Sheen to the New York Times to College Candy! Your home page is constantly updated with little 140 character bits of goodness. From links to the hottest articles to what your favorite celeb ate for breakfast, Twitter has it all. With instantaneous updates!
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What It Is:
Ole Henriksen Blue/Black Berry Enzyme Mask
Why This Should Be in Your Bag:
I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: no matter how much makeup you slap on, you won’t look your best without a solid base (skin, that is!). I find that skincare is a part of every girl’s beauty routine that is often ignored. They figure that as long as they have a thick enough foundation, they can cover up any imperfections. Sure, that’s the case with blemishes, but definitely not puffiness or sallow coloring.
Ole Henriksen is a great brand of skincare. I would say it’s in the mid price-range, running about the same as Clinique and Clarins. They make skincare products for all sorts of skin types and have a couple of products that are favorited by celebs, but none more than the Blue/Black Berry Enzyme Mask. Eva Mendes, Ellen Degeneres and Charlize Theron are all fans and frequently stop by Ole’s spa to get treatments. It’s full of enzymes to encourage cell turnover and hydrate — and is also designed to soothe sensitive skin. I also find that the lavender makes me sleepy, so this is perfect right before bed! Read More »
You got this, girl.
Alright post-grads, future post-grads, and people who think they are post-grads but are really just thirty-years-old and clinging on to their blissful youth. For some reason as a post-grad myself, I’ve found it easiest to write about things that depress me. I guess I just like an excuse to indulge in brownie sundaes nightly. But the truth is, the post-grad life isn’t depressing! In reality, it’s a beautiful time for all of us to open doors after some have been slammed in our faces. Think about the power you obtain in that single movement!
But I digress.
When we leave college, we immediately assume we’ve lost so much. And by so much, I mean everything. I’ll be straight up honest with you: when I was in college, I was an annoying, cocky, lady-child (in the best way possible). I think it had something to do with the fact that while I was living the dream, napping intensely during the week, drinking until 3AM, getting in everywhere for free as long as I flashed someone my boobs student ID – basically living like a homeless celebrity – I felt as if nothing could get past me.
College was my own protective placenta of awesomeness; a slice of time when I could bask in everything that was working out for me (i.e. free food, a semi-careless attitude, eating whatever sat in front of me, not worrying about what anyone thought). I know I’m completely sounding like a cocky a**hole, but college made me feel weirdly confident. I felt like I could do anything, dream anything and, most importantly, see everything clearly. Perhaps it was some evolved pair of college beer goggles, but I saw everything without any glitches, scratches or worries. I knew that by the end of the semester I would have survived somehow and I could look forward to a fresh slate in January. Read More »
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