Sex in the News: Post-sex Blues

April 5, 2011     Posted in Body, Sex


By Leah

Sex and relationships should be fun, but sometimes sex studies reveal some pretty depressing facts. This week I learned that breakups can cause actual physical pain and that it’s not uncommon for young women to suffer from post-sex blues. Weird, right? Doesn’t sex release endorphins which are supposed to make you happy?

Yes and no, apparently. According to a study conducted in Australia of 200 young women, one in three of the women surveyed said they have felt post-coital sadness at some point. For 10 percent of the women, this feeling is a regular occurrence.

One of the things linked to the post-coital blues is past sexual abuse, though the author said there is only a moderate correlation. For other cases research suggests a “biological predisposition” may be a larger factor.

Could this mean that women are just not wired to enjoy sex like men? I wonder. In 2011, we all like to think that we can be sexually uninhibited and just have a good roll in the hay every now and then, but maybe that’s not the case. Maybe sex really does mean something different for us ladies than it does for guys. Maybe we do get more connected to the people we sleep with and feel some sort of void when that moment (and all the hormones and feelings that come along with it) is over, whether it’s with someone new or someone we’ve known and loved for a long time.

What this study proves is yet to be seen, but either way, it is a comforting acknowledgment to the 1 in 3 women who find themselves depressed after sex that they aren’t alone.

Have you ever experienced feelings of sadness after sex? What do you think is the cause?

14 Comments on "Sex in the News: Post-sex Blues"

  1. Lanna says:
    Tue, 5th Apr 20116:33 pm 

    I completely believe that sex is different for both genders. Because both genders are wired very differently, it's only natural that this remains true when it comes to intimate and emotional matters– such as sex. and love.

    Good post! It's nice to read something that isn't pushing everyone in the world to have casual sex and hook up– maybe it's actually SUPPOSED to mean something. People are afraid to admit that, though.

  2. amy says:
    Wed, 6th Apr 20113:52 am 

    From what I have learned in Biopsychology the sadness has to do with chemicals (neurotransmitters) in our brain. When you have sex and orgasm you deplete your dopamine, an endorphin, so thats why afterward you feel bad, but the point is to try and seek sex again part of an evolution theory. Also when dopamine becomes depleted Oxytocin another chemical (neurotransmitter) in your brian increases which helps with bonding with a partner so if you have children you will stay together and raise them. Just a different way of looking at it ha

  3. Lyn says:
    Wed, 6th Apr 20118:29 am 

    Are you kidding me? A 'study' (for which no link is provided) says women sometimes feel sadness after sex and you are trying to say this proves ANYTHING about women at a biological level? There could be hundreds of reasons those women were feeling sad after sex, including social and psychological factors. I am a little surprised at the miseducation surrounding this article. First of all, to 'amy' when you have sex dopamine is RELEASED not depleted, cells make it and there is no 'depleting' it. Sometimes your body doesn't make high enough levels (like in some mood disorders) but that has nothing to do with a 'store' of it being 'depleted'. And 'Lanna', I would need to write an entire article to refute that kind of sexist nonsense. Both genders are 'wired very differently'? Do you go outside very often? If you did you would quickly realize there are a wide range of different expressions for gender, and women and men can fit anywhere on a broad spectrum of experience. There are plenty of women who prefer to have only meaningful sex, there is nothing wrong with that, but to believe this is a biological differences between the sexes is an idea the scientific community left behind decades ago.

  4. Jenna says:
    Wed, 6th Apr 20119:32 am 

    Interesting post. I wonder if there's also a social element to it though. It would be interesting to know if the study distinguished between the "type" of sexual encounter (one night stand, part of a monogamous relationship etc)

  5. Jenna says:
    Wed, 6th Apr 201112:58 pm 

    This is a very angry response. The study should have been referenced in the original article it's true. Obviously saying men and women are "wired different" is incredibly simplistic. But there ARE significant biological (and significant socialized) differences between men and women and some of these pertain to sexual attitudes. Your suggestion that men and women may lie anywhere on a scale is true but again overly simplistic. Assuming both genders lie on some kind of normal distribution the peaks of these distributions don't necessarily (and in fact are unlikely to) lie in the same place. Therefore men may be *more Likely* to display certain traits than women. This is not a blanket statement and does not assume all men and all women behave in the same way. There have been studies for example that illustrate then men, in general, display an increase in self esteem after a casual sexual encounter while women tend to suffer a decrease. Again we're talking about likelihoods here, and the cause is not necessarily purely biological, but it is clear that there are differing trends between genders.

  6. sassystephb says:
    Wed, 6th Apr 20119:17 pm 

    I don't think sex is VERY different for both genders. I know personally that sex doesn't have a negative effect on my mood or self esteem. but then it does say 1 in 3. IDK. The way I see it is that our reaction to situations aren't biological. Not to say that there is not a biological component to emotions but a lot of it is socialization.
    I have a friend who is perfectly okay with see mangled animals in the road… but it makes me sad. This same friend gets over attached to girls that give him sex while I don't think that having sex with someone bonds you in anyway other than physically. but that's just my opinion I also think that anyone who views this article from a sociological perspective might be taken aback by some of the wording presented. But.. this is a blog and not an academic research paper… so say what you want to. :-)

  7. MarG says:
    Wed, 6th Apr 201110:34 pm 

    For me personally I have been 1 of the 3 woman who have been thru this when i was younger .Now that Im celibate Ive relized that the reason i felt so depressed is cause it wasnt fulfillin at all and I just wasted my time and energy on a NOBODY! I felt as if in the moment it was gonna be somethin that i knew in end it wasnt! It was a hard lesson 2 learn but im glad that ive overcome and i think more with my brain and not my hormones. very good post I can relate!

  8. jemal says:
    Thu, 7th Apr 20119:21 am 

    it is so nice to here this news i will make my self ready to…

  9. Borat says:
    Sat, 9th Apr 20113:06 pm 

    i put my khrum in the anoos of a bull, and it was very nice

  10. @skibblezing says:
    Sat, 30th Apr 201110:40 pm 

    This makes me feel totally better about myself. I 'crymax' all the time and my boyfriend at first had no idea what to do with me! I get it now. A good cuddle sets things rignt.

  11. Beth says:
    Mon, 30th Jan 20124:48 pm 

    I only found this just now because I was googling to try and find out if what happens to me after sex is normal. I get really anxious, even if I was feeling totally fine beforehand. I was raped a few years ago and this is my first relationship since so I think that must have something to do with it, but it's nice to know I'm not an anomaly!

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