10 Things That Would Turn Every College into a “Dream School”

Remember back in high school when you were asked “what is your Dream School?” Well after 3 and 1/2 years I’m still not sure what my college guidance counselors meant by that. I’m also pretty sure that my dream school might look more like a 4-year-long version of Animal House and not a highly reputable academic institution with a good student:professor ratio. Our friends over at the Huffington Post decided to make a list of the top ten dream colleges, and I have a feeling they’re also not on the same page as me.

In fact, I’m pretty sure they’re not even in the same book. Why? Because when I think dream school, this is what I’m thinking:

1. No Friday Classes. Three day weekend, every week… yes please

2. Hot TA’s. Maybe a shirtless Ryan Reynolds type? Oh and they have to be single too.

3. Kegs in the class. Instead of getting up to get a class of water, just fill your solo cup with beer. Let’s be real, history is a lot more interesting if you have a chug a cup of beer everytime the professor mentions a war.

4. Noon Foam Parties. Every day, in the middle of the quad. When no one is in class. Also at the foam party would be giant slip and slide. Oh, and beer.

5. PMS rooms. You know those days when your cramps are unbearable, but you still need to go to class and you end up having an hour break between classes, but can’t go home because it’s too far? Why not a room that has loads of comfy couches, Netflix with our favorite chick flicks, and chocolate…mounds and mounds of chocolate. Oh and no men allowed.

6. Jillian from The Biggest Loser. Forget Freshman 15! Everyone at the school will get a personal training sesh with this hardcore chick once a week! (well maybe some other trainers too, since everyone will obviously want to go her.)

7. Tina Fey is the president of the school, not the country. I think I’m on to something here. Forget boring mass public safety warning emails that everyone deletes. Tina would be shooting out one-liners to the entire campus all day long.

8. Hair Salon in the student center. You know those days where you really need to get your eyebrows done or your roots are not fit to be seen in public. This would eliminate that annoying 30-minute drive that requires you to skip a class.

9. Bar on Campus. Had a tough day? Need a martini? Why not just pop over to the campus center and grab one on your way to English.

10. Free Textbooks. I think we can all agree that buying textbooks is the worst part of every semester. Why not help a broke student out and start handing those things out for free.



    1. Wisco girl says:

      Wisco has a bar on campus, right in the middle of our student union. Best school ever!!

      1. UMCane says:

        So does Miami. Challah

    2. Lola says:

      Most schools in Canada have a bar. In fact, my school has two, and Calgary U has two and a hair salon and a drug store among other things. U of Alberta has a nap and relaxation room with couches and recliners and such.

      1. Kelsey says:

        UBC has 4 pubs, and a hair salon in the Student Union Building though the quality is questionable and just 2 days ago my prof took the class to one of the bars and bought the whole class pitchers. Yeah Canada!

    3. Anna says:

      I go to school in Canada, we have two bars on campus! My professor once brought beer to class for us to drink too.

    4. Javahut says:

      Yes definitely agree with everything your list. Especially the PMS room hell I need that for my house haha

    5. Ruby says:

      I'm from Australia, and we have a bar on the fifth floor of Union Hall. Flinders Uni also has pretty much a mini-mall on campus, because they're in the middle of nowhere. And our undergrad student room is a two stories of comfy couches and awful, awful coffee.

    6. criolle johnny says:

      The textbook Mafia is a nationwide scandal. From the obvious kickback schemes with "certain" professors to the brother-in-law relationships with "certain" bookstores, the ripoffs are infuriating.
      A new calculus text every four years is obvious fruad. A new American History text every three years should be grounds for indictment!

    7. Jenna says:

      I am pretty sure all the universities in Australia have bars on campus

    8. -Andrea says:

      Panamerican University has no class on friday =)

    9. Vilunius says:

      It's astounding that someone from Huffpost thought this was funny enough to link to it.

    10. kjgascihoisc says:

      DePaul doesn't have friday classes.

    11. […] • 10 Things That Would Turn Every College Into A Dream School […]

    12. violet says:

      northern colorado has a hair salon and a liquor store less than a mile away from campus:)

    13. Orla says:

      We have 2 pubs on campus! in ireland that's a regular thing:)

    14. I attend community college and a nap room would be great! I have 2 hr gaps between classes (and I don't have enough time to go home & back), so I'm stuck in the library wasting time. A nap or pms room would be great!

    15. Dakota says:

      University of Wyoming has a bar on campus :]

    16. londonmiami says:

      … generic and boring.
      I'd rather take smaller classes, cheaper tuition, better technology, campus-wide wifi, and yes, free textbooks. Though the no Friday classes sounds good. Oh, and more free $$ for students. That would be a dream school.

      Tbh, you can have fun anywhere if you want to.

    17. Mixx says:


    18. Carmen says:

      Here, we've a bar/club and two pubs right on campus. We have a salon as well, along with a lot of students having Fridays AND Mondays off, lucky bastards.

    19. Shohna says:

      ,Lol except for the beer, I'm loving everything you just said.

    20. jessica says:

      my university has the bar and hair salon that you're looking for right in the student center. i go to stony brook university

    21. Molly says:

      I like most of them…but I'm thinking more classes being available on Saturday would be good for those of us that like to get shit done!

    22. nikihuntsman says:

      Colorado State has a bar and a hair salon. Definitely a plus!

    23. appstate15 says:

      My college has numbers 2 (most, anyways) , 8, and 10 (although they're rentals). Used to have 9 but they closed it, luckily good bars are walking distance from campus.

    24. IrishChica says:

      Notre Dame has 1, 8 and 9…

    • You Might Like