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The Dos and Don’ts of Dealing with the Ex

So I’m sure by now you’re all completely over the whole royal wedding thing.You’re tired of the wedding plans and the photos and the guest lists and the entire country of England. I get it. But I’m going to bring it up one last time because I just can’t seem to wrap my head around this one concept.

According to Jezebel the prince and his blushing bride will be inviting six of their exes to the wedding. ( 2 of hers. 4 of his). And apparently there’s some sort of etiquette behind this that requires them to do so. But I mean, come on. I know they’re royalty and all and they don’t have much of a choice, but is this something the rest of us are going to have to do as well? I hope not. Because I definitely won’t be inviting my exes anywhere. I don’t even want to see them at the coffee shop never mind at the rehearsal dinner…

This train of thought of course, got me thinking about my own ex encounters, which had me cringing and triumphing  at each one in turn.  And this of course had me thinking about the dos and don’ts of ex-boyfriends, and that, of course, is how you wound up with this list.

Do remove your ex from your Facebook feed. Seeing his obnoxious statuses about babes and beer everyday is not going to help you get over him. The more he pops up on your newsfeed the more you’ll want to head over to his page and stalk him read through his wall. Avoid the temptation and hide him!

Don’t remove your ex from your Facebook friends. Hiding him is one thing, but deleting him is something else entirely, and it’s a big no-no. Not only because to him it means you cared enough to be mad enough to delete him, but also because as much as you don’t want to know what’s  going on with him, you’ll want the option to be there. Trust me on this one.

Do give him a coy smile and a quick hello if you see him out and about. Seeing the ex again is inevitable, especially on a college campus where everyone goes to all of the same bars and all of the same events. So don’t avoid him or pretend like you don’t see him. Just smile politely, exchange pleasantries. And then move along.

Don’t stay and chat. The longer you hang around with him, the greater your chances will be of saying something you probably shouldn’t or hearing something you probably don’t want to hear. You two broke up. Parted ways. Don’t stay and endure the awkward conversation for whatever reason you’ve come up with.

Do introduce him to your date. If you’re there with another guy, introduce him to said guy. It would be odd if you didn’t. Names are fine. No need for labels on either end.

Don’t brag about said date. Telling your ex how fab your new beau is may seem like a brilliant idea at the time, and a great way to make him jealous but it may do more time than good. I mean you can always tell when someone’s laying it on, can’t you?  That person definitely looks like she’s trying too hard, doesn’t she?

Do remember you broke up for a reason. When enduring post breakup encounters for the first time it’s easy to be hit with that rush of old feelings. You remember how cute he is or how he makes you laugh and how much fun you have and suddenly you’re heading down memory lane, no matter who did the breaking up. But remember you did break up. For a reason.

Don’t get reeled back in. I repeat, you broke up for a reason. And I’m sure it was difficult, whether you were the dumper or the dumpee, but ignoring those reasons and  jumping back into something too quickly doesn’t solve those problems. It just hides them. So keep that in mind during your ex encounters.

What about you ladies? Have any breakup dos and don’ts? Or better yet any breakup horror stories we can oh and ah about use to learn from past mistakes?

    Comments

    Comments

    1. Casey says:

      My ex and I broke up last April, continued to live together until this January, continued to sleep together till February, then I continued to hang out with his parents until a few weeks ago when I just couldn't take it anymore and deleted him from my facebook friends (Trust me, I had to, I "hid" him 2 months ago) It does suck that i totally cut him out, because we really did get along great the past 8 months, and had so much fun every time we hung out, but it has been the only thing that has helped me to start moving on. For me the feelings were still there, for him, just the comfort and good memories. I made his facebook and have his password, so it's hard not to just log on, but I know that wont help the process. I've never been the dumpee before, and trust me, it's a hell of a lot harder then being the dumper. Good luck to all who have and will experience it, and if it does get too hard, deleting may be your only option.

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    3. […] This train of thought of course, got me thinking about my own ex encounters, which had me cringing and triumphing at each one in turn.  And this of course had me thinking about the dos and don’ts of ex-boyfriends, and that, of course, is how you wound up with this list. Read more… […]

    4. […] This train of thought of course, got me thinking about my own ex encounters, which had me cringing and triumphing at each one in turn.  And this of course had me thinking about the dos and don’ts of ex-boyfriends, and that, of course, is how you wound up with this list. Read more… […]

    5. Lamia says:

      I deleted too…though this was back when myspace was the big website lol. It wasn't that I cared enough to be mad (though a lot of the hurtful things he said/did pissed me off) it was that I was done with him being a part of my life, plain and simple. Once I deleted him (and made my settings so only friends could message me), the drama started to disappear.

    6. […] This train of thought of course, got me thinking about my own ex encounters, which had me cringing and triumphing at each one in turn.  And this of course had me thinking about the dos and don’ts of ex-boyfriends, and that, of course, is how you wound up with this list. Read more… […]

    7. […] This train of thought of course, got me thinking about my own ex encounters, which had me cringing and triumphing at each one in turn.  And this of course had me thinking about the dos and don’ts of ex-boyfriends, and that, of course, is how you wound up with this list. Read more… […]

    8. Nafeesa says:

      I think removing that person from your facebook friends is a good thing. That way you can simply move on without looking back.

    9. Eliana says:

      the best thing is to cut your ex from your life completely. keeping your ex around even if its just through fb is going to make it more difficult to move on and bring problems into a new relationship. always start a new relationship with a clean slate.

    10. dma25 says:

      I agree about removing them from your facebook friends and just move on cause if you see them post something or put a pic of their new girlfriend, it would bring back memories or even problems. Plus, don't EVER do
      "friends with benefits" because it will only hurt you more in the end emotionally if you still have feelings for your ex boyfriend. They will say and do anything to keep you around "just in case" their new relationships doesn't work out or they will only use you for their sexual fanatasies that they don't want to have their current girlfriend participate in. I know from personal experience and will never let that happen again!

    11. GABBY says:

      DAMN ME AND MY EX SIMPLY CANNOT LET GO OF EACHOTHER.

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