Dear Birthday Brat

April 17, 2011     Posted in Entertainment, HaHa


By Jenni

Dear Birthday Brat,

Let’s talk for a hot sec. Just, like, un momento. Because we need to get a few things straight around here. I know it’s your birthday. I know you feel like you’re really special today because both your grandmas called and you’re wearing some kind of dollar store tiara. But it’s just a birthday. Everyone has one. My dog has one. So I’m a little unclear why you’ve turned your birthDAY into a birthWEEK. How is it possible that I have 16 FB invites for the same girl!?!

No, you don’t get to stretch this one day into a week long “look at me” extravaganza. No, you don’t get a birthday brunch AND a birthday dinner AND a birthday party. Why? Because I don’t have a bank account dedicated to “birthday fiestas.” I can’t afford to buy you mimosas at breakfast, wine at dinner, and a bottle at the bar. I wish I did. I wish I could afford to also get you some kinda of sweater to throw over that heinous sash you’re wearing. For god’s sake, you’re turning 21, not entering a beauty pageant.

And let’s talk about the demands. The unreasonable requests that everyone you know should come to every part of your birthday extravaganza. Stop with the defriending threats. I simply cannot afford the money and the time it will take the satisfy your birthday appetite. At some point I need to work and sleep…and go to the ATM.

The ATM?

Yes, the ATM, because your birthday is costing me my entire savings account. And surprise, these cupcakes I’ve made for you didn’t pull our their little funfetti hands and pay for themselves.

Did you really have to pick the MOST expensive restaurant in town and did you really have to order 6 rounds of the MOST expensive cocktail on the menu? Did you even notice that everyone else is sipping on water and appetizers to be able to afford paying for your birthday dinner? Probably not. It’s hard to notice these things when you’re on the phone the entire time reading all your birthday wallposts aloud.

Anyways, not sure why I’m even trying to get your attention because right now you’re busy standing on a table singing Happy Birthday to yourself. Just thought that maybe, maybe next year, things will be different.

XOXO
YOUR BESTIE

17 Comments on "Dear Birthday Brat"

  1. Jay says:
    Sun, 17th Apr 20118:09 pm 

    I sometimes feel as if these articles are directed at me and my birthday hasn't even arrived yet.

  2. Jessica says:
    Sun, 17th Apr 20119:55 pm 

    I LOVE this!!!! :)

  3. Lauren says:
    Sun, 17th Apr 201110:36 pm 

    Yes! I get so annoyed when people make their birthdays a big deal. EVERYONE HAS ONE, YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL.

  4. okkkaayy says:
    Mon, 18th Apr 201111:49 pm 

    21st birthday is kind of a big one though…………… if you can't afford the restaurant or the alcohol just don't go. ?

  5. Stefanie Darryl Segovia says:
    Wed, 20th Apr 20115:57 am 

    i remember having this roomie who had three celebrations: at a bar, at a bar, at a restaurant. yep. livin the high life. on my birthdays, all i need is a cake, two kinds of meat, a pasta or noodle, something my parent want to serve and…voila! my party

  6. aaa says:
    Fri, 22nd Apr 201110:25 am 

    I don't see where she said she didn't like birthdays…I'm pretty sure she said she doesn't like OUTRAGEOUS birthdays which is perfectly understandable. No need for name-calling and rudeness.

  7. catie says:
    Sat, 23rd Apr 20116:52 pm 

    i think this is directed at me.

  8. mmm says:
    Sun, 24th Apr 201110:29 pm 

    but its totally acceptable to be outrageous on your birthday

  9. Jess says:
    Mon, 25th Apr 20118:30 pm 

    Everyone has a right to celebrate their birthday the way they see fit. Don't rain on their parade!..lol..

  10. bebe says:
    Tue, 26th Apr 20117:09 pm 

    Yea, this is kind of bitchy. I understand this person went a little overboard ans was inconsiderate but 1) 21 is a big birthday 2) I bet if you POLITELY told them how you felt, they may have adjusted their plans. Or you could have just gone to one of the many events to suit your budget.

  11. bebe says:
    Tue, 26th Apr 20117:12 pm 

    I agree, to a certain point. I had a strict dress code on my birthday but I gave everyone 3 months' notice so they could work it in their budget if they didn't already own a little black dress and I had several events also but I told them they could attend any which one or all of them. I paid for my own dinner and drinks and picked a really affordable restaurant and bar. I think you have to be considerate of other people on your birthday because the point is to spend time together and have fun. :)

  12. bebe says:
    Tue, 26th Apr 20117:45 pm 

    Yea, this is kind of bitchy. I understand this person went a little overboard ans was inconsiderate but 1) 21 is a big birthday 2) I bet if you POLITELY told them how you felt, they may have adjusted their plans. Or you could have just gone to one of the many events to suit your budget.

  13. mmm says:
    Sat, 30th Apr 20111:31 pm 

    thats so mean to say

  14. Destiny Brooks says:
    Mon, 16th May 201112:54 am 

    Two things. Who makes there guests pay for the dinner?? Thats crazy ! and the second thing. Birthdays are the day to celebrate being one full year older in the world, not everyone makes it there! Its a kind of a big deal for people who really love you and happy to see you're still alive and happy. My mom is going to be the big 5 0 soon and I think its spectacular and we are making t-shirts and everything. I see where you are coming from, Your friend is totally wrong to make her guests pay though, she's 21, and not a queen.

  15. Madcap says:
    Sun, 22nd May 20112:44 pm 

    Must be nice to be able to sit back and judge everyone else's existence with such perfect clarity. How you manage to accomplish anything else when you have this exquisite gift is beyond me. Kudos for being such an excellent friend.

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